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  1. #1
    Member SeaBisquit's Avatar
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    not yet divorced.... is it o.k. to date?

    Do you think it is wrong to date someone that is separated from their husband/wife but are not yet divorced? sometimes it can take over a year for someone to get a divorce and divorces can get really ugly. what are your thoughts on this? please respond

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  3. #2
    Gold Member hubman01's Avatar
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    Sure it is ok to date someone who is going thru a divorce. Just keep one thing in mind when dating someone like this. YOU maybe a rebound relationship right now and are taking a good chance to get hurt. I personally would not date someone who is going thru a divorce but, that is me. Do what you want but, keep your eyes open because he may not be ready emotionally. So dont kid yourself and use your mind to make the right choice.
    Cogito, ergo sum -"I think therefore I am" -René Descartes

  4. #3
    Platinum Member Day_Walker's Avatar
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    If you are upfront about the situation you are going through then I think its appropriate. Actually getting the divorce is the technical part once the couple has started the process of seperate and have begun divorce proceedings I would think its appropriate to date.
    "A long habit of not thinking a thing wrong gives it the superficial appearance of being right, and raises at first a formidable outcry in defense of custom. But the tumult soon subsides. Time makes more converts than reason." Thomas Paine

    "The wise man questions others wisdom because he questions his own, the foolish man because it is different from his own." Leo Stein

  5. #4
    Platinum Member darkblue's Avatar
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    As long as you're over your 'husband' and feel comfortable enough to date. I don't see a problem with it.
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  6. #5
    Super Moderator annie24's Avatar
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    I think it's fine to date during this time. Depending on where the couple lives, it may take years for the official divorce to go through. If the relationship has already broken down beyond repair, then the actual "divorce" is just the paper work.
    There's no place like 127.0.0.1.



  7. #6
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    I think it totally depends on the people/situation. I was married and my huband announced he wanted a divorce. 4 weeks later i met someone. Stupidly i got involved and we were together for about 9 months. I think it was because he was comforting towards me and quite frankly i was pretty messed up. The relationship did not work out. Looking back i would have spent time on my own before getting involved.

    I would have qualms about dating someone who was still married...esp if they hadnt filed yet. If you are looking for something serious, a still married person is not the person you want to go for. If you want to have fun, then sure go for them.

  8. #7
    Silver Member Tigris's Avatar
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    I was going through a divorce when I started to live with my now second husband. I asked a solicitor (lawyer) if it was ok for us to get engaged. There is no law in England that can stop you!

    A relationship like this is upto the two individuals involved and noone else!

    I hope everything works out for you.

    Good luck and take care.


  9. #8
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    I say no

    I did just that. I started to date someone while I was divorcing. Things got really complicated. Granted I did drag out the process. But the person I was dating started to get invloved in pushing for the divorce to be completed. I took it as her getting invloved with something I didn't want to associate her with. It really screwed my head up because I saw her as my escape from the divorce. Now when I saw her it was about the divorce and when I was alone in my thoughts everything was about the divorce. I finally situated the separation and she dumped me 3 weeks later. She couldn't understand why I didn't want to communicate with her about it.

    I just didn't want her associated with it.

    Take care of your divorce before you open your heart to others. What they will see will be much better than what they see while you are going through this process.

  10. #9
    That' s good advice.

  11. #10

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    Quote Originally Posted by annie24 View Post
    I think it's fine to date during this time. Depending on where the couple lives, it may take years for the official divorce to go through. If the relationship has already broken down beyond repair, then the actual "divorce" is just the paper work.
    Bingo! So long as the relationship is over and done with then by all means feel free to date. Marriage and divorce is just a legal distinction. The relationship, or lack thereof, is what really matters.

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