Geno101

ALSO, i need to know where to find a basket of "smell goods". u know..the typical wicker baset of a bunch of things that smell rediculously good. And if anyone could give me a typical price for something like that, it'd be greatly appreciated. I have no idea where to look for something like this. The closest thing i can think of is bed bath and beyond...but, i just looked on their website, and i saw nothing like that. help

When i said she isnt crazy about chocolate i meant, she likes it but its not kind of chocolate that she's just CRAZY about. but she likes it just as much as the next person. But what i was picturing was some choclate thats soft enough to actually be able to dip into wihtout heating it up. Like...picture cake icing. U could dip strawberrys into that, wihtout heating it up because it stays the same consistency. i was gonna do that but i dunno...

hey, it has been a long time. I've been alright, and thanks for the advice.

I wanted to buy some things for someone for V-day, and i had some strawberrys and chocolate in mind because she loves strawberrys and i think it would be romantic to have some sort of choclate to dip them in and feed to her myself. but what i needed help deciding was where i could get the chocolate from and what KIND of chocolate. Theres different kinds of chocolates. she doesnt have any prefference. i didnt mention this to her but she isnt crazy about chocolate like that. but i needed something that would go good with the strawberrys. I think Dark chocolate would be terrible with strawberrys. but, any suggestions is fine. Even something different than chocolate.

wow. NO ONE had anything to say? bump i guess...

...Early this morning, December 6th, i heard a song on tv, with sort of a sad soudning tune. ..Song by Jay Z, called Lost one, where he raps about his nephew who died in a car accident some time ago, a year i believe. and the car he died in was the car HE bought for him (true story), but anyway.... This stuck in my head all day, so i walked around humming it. LATER this day, i found out that a friend from school died in a car accident yesterday. Timesha Swift (facebook - dont know the link, i cant bare to see her face). But this song isnt the important thing. This post is simply to make a tribute to her, and express this bit of sorrow i have. I didnt KNOW her personally although we had several conversations. On a daily basis. She was just a pass-by friend. And she was such a cool, nice person. It seemed so unlikely to hear that someone like HER would be dead this soon after highschool. I just walked accross the Stage with her In June. And this is what really caught me: Her birthday is today. My other friend said he went to facebook and it said "Today's Birthdays: Timesha Swift". December 6th. (another weird coincidence is that Jay-Z's birthday was 2 days ago, on the 4th)Thats so Screwed up. I'm not into the face book thing, so i chose the one community i am a part of to pay tribute to her, and express this saddness i'm feeling. Its a very... "unnattractive" feeling..... And This has me literally scared about the future. another one of my CLOSE friends got news that she may only have 6 months left on this earth. And i thought, if i was this sad about a girl i barely knew, i'm gonna go through hell on earth if that doctor was at all right. I'm SO afraid. I am so attatched to this friend. I've never had a friend like her. No one has ever been this close to me. How close we are tops my parents and even people i've known my entire life. It makes me cry thinking about it. I spent maybe an hour crying on the phone with her, twice before, when she told me. The first time she told me she didnt specify a timeline. the next time she actual confessed the actual estimation of time. Six months is not enough for me to give her the life she always needed, wanted, and deserved in a sense. 6 months is not enough time for me to show her how much i have always loved her. I've told her i loved her before, but, those were words, and i believe the saying "actions are louder than words" very much. That is not enough time for me to break this trend of people mistreating her in her life and for me to begin treating her like the Queen of the world. And this kills me. 6 months is not enough time for her to really get the chance to be taken care of like never before. I had plans to get her in the position where she would never have to involuntarily lift another finger again. I wanted to shower her with love, gifts, and whatever else it was that she desired at any given moment. 6 months isn't enough.... I'm afraid of what i'm gonna have to go through. What songs will remind me of her when or IF she's gone, what places i'll ride past that me and her have frequented, and things we've joked about on tv, and movies we've watched together. Our spots around town, her smell, the various pictures i have of her, and various memories. Hand written notes. Chat history on the computer. Her phone numbers. The college her and i both are going to. The car that my mother drives that we've spent a lot of time in together. I am so afraid. I'm nearing tears now thinking about not having her in my life everyday, as she is now. There is not a moment the goes by where i dont think about her, or that i'm not interacting with her in some kind of way. ... *Sigh*.... well... this post definitely turned into something i didnt mean to turn it into. but, i have vented my emotions. Questions and comments are welcomed....better yet, they're encouraged.

The relationship is not well balanced at all. I do so much for her, but she doesnt do much for me at all, BUT, thats because everyhting she could do for me i do for myself, but emotionally, she doesnt really try. I dont feel that she needs me less than i need her per say. I would say the fact of the matter is she DOES need me more than i need her, she just fails to realize it because she's taking me for granted, and THATS what pissing me off. Because, i dont need her, but in some cases she truly NEEDS me. But she fails to realize it. She isnt far away, we just cant see each other much. maybe once a week or less. I trust her but at the same time i dont because she's done some unexpected hurtful things in the past and i dont know where the next thing is gonna come from. but, yes, now i want to deprive her of my attention to END things and to climb out of this hole i've dug, and at the same time i want an EFFECT. I want a lasting, lingering effect. I want her to FEEL it when i'm gone. You know. Not to really get her to crawl back to me so i can have her and get the affection i've wanted, but i just want the effect to feel accomplished to finally give me that gratitude, and the privilege of finally knowing what it was i did to improve her life and how big of an impact i had on it, since she's failed to tell me those kinds of things to make me feel good about myself. Failed to stroke my ego like i do hers and like i so desperately cry out and tell her i need.

hey.. I'm not sure if this is where i should have put this, but, here goes. I am in a weird relationship. Described and explained in my previous threads. I am in a position where i am completely dependent on conversation with this girl. Everyday of my life is based on her, unless i'm away from home. I wake up thinking about her, if she hasnt already called me waking me up out of my sleep. And if she doesnt call me, i wake up feeling nervous inside. a deep down nervous, tense, anxious feeling in my gut. And it hacks away at me everyday. She's in college so she's always away from home and then she goes out with her ex sometimes. And that leaves me here in my house with nothing to do and no one to talk to. I dont start college for another 2 months, and i dont have a job yet, so the only social life i have outside of her is two of my cousins. And thats only once every other weekend. so i'm often talkin to her, and if not, i'm feeling DEPRESSED, lonely, down, and pitiful. Its just a terrible way to live. I've had thoughts of suicide. but not coming anywhere near DOING it. IT was just something going through my mind because this is a miserable DAY-to-DAY feeling. and i cant shake it. I constantly wait for a call, or call her, and the funny thing is, i never have anyhting to talk about, although we have great convos. I never have anyhting to SAY specifically. I just cant stand to be away from her. I fear the thought of being replaced, or forgotten or left behind. It bothers me to think about her eventually just finding it unneccesary to continue to talk to me. Like her desire to talk to me just one day dies off, leaving me lonely and unwanted. Now..my challenge is this... I want to LEAVE and be rid of her but i cant. I've been searching for jobs to give me an excuse to be away from home long periods of time, and to get the funds to go out and have fun without her and also use that job as an opportunity to meet someone else. To socialize..you know. To live my life. But i havnt gotten hired. So all i have is her, still. but, i'm constantly trying to distance myself and leave her alone and make her feel what i've been feeling everyday. I want her to need me for something and not have me available. I need her to need my advice or need my consoling or to need me to be her shoulder to cry on and not be anywhere to be found. So she can feel...alienated and lonely. I want her to have it bad and not have me to relieve the pressure. I always do those things for her. and a lot of times i think to stop doing those things for her, but when i think that, i ALSO think about the possibility of me stopping those things leading to her looking at it like i'm neglecting her and then pointing the finger at ME and going and finding that attention somewhere else instead of realizing i TOOK it away from her on purpose and then bringing herself to crawl to me to get it back. I dont trust her judgement. So i fear that. I dont want to walk away and throw all this invested time away in vain. I want to walk away and make her FEEL the difference between her life with me and her life without me. I dont want her to just say "Oh well, i'll just go to joe blow and get what i want". I want her to SEE. I want her to spend nights crying herself to sleep because she realized the mistake she made of taking me for granted. But, i dont know how to do this. all i need is advice.

bump^ no one else has anything to say?

....i've been dealing with this girl for 11 months almost to the day and 3 months into i thought it was love, but now, looking back onto it, i dont think it was. I think it was indeed a wonderful feeling, but not love. just a REALLY REALLY strong attraction mixed with hella chemistry. but, the past 2 months, our relationship has blossomed into something even more wonderful than ever before. Our comfort for each other has grown tremendously. Everything is evolving, arguments are more rare. let me get to the point, just about 3 hours ago (around 8:30) she had to get off of the phone because someone called for her mother. so i waited, and waited, around 9 i thought she would call because thats when her free minutes on her cell phone kicks in....no call. my worrying increased. more hours passed, and during this time I called her cell phone about 10 times, left 3 voice messages, sent a text, called her house number 10 or more times, no one answered anythting, and she lives with 3 other people... this was odd to say the least. i sat here thinking the WORST of thoughts. Pondering on what the hell could be up. This is most unusual for her because she calls me and we talk 24/7. I could barely eat. I couldnt watch tv with 100% concentration beacsue i was so worried and sad about this. She wasnt calling back. now i was thinking maybe she had another seizure, or maybe her grandfather died, or maybe she got hurt, maybe they had a house fire, i dont know, i was just so worried, and scared. I'm sorry i cant explain this 100% accurately because u'd have to know her to understand why i found this to be so unusual, but thats a given... anyway, she finally called me at 11:30. I JUMPED at the phone. And when i answered i let out a big sigh. i immediately asked what happened. I told her i almost cried. and as soon as i said that. my eyes teared up. She told me she got sick from something she ate earlier which turned out to be much more minor than i thought but it was just the thought of losing her that drove me to tears. she told me to hold on and i plopped my face down in my bed sheets and began REALLY REALLY crying. Is this love? Like true genuine love and concern that i'm feeling? because, this isnt the first time this type of thing has happened but now all of a sudeden the fact that i had all these bad thoughts about losing her for some reason, it makes me cry like a little kid. is THIS love? because before i didnt really care THAt much... i mean, i cared, but not to the point where it made me sick to my stomach. She told me she was getting in the shower and she would call right back. I said bye and could barely talk because i was crying. I was trying to hide it. when i hung the phone up, i began crying even HARDER. for a while, and I didnt know why. I was so confused, but..i couldn't stop. It was just a natural reaction. I need some sort of opinion or diagnosis on the situation. Is THAT love? or..is it something else? I dont know.. i really dont...I'm so confused..

PM with AvsFan, check it out. GREAT! we've had two more encounters to tell about. Well, the first one was VERY fun and long awaited. We had time to kill, boredom, a few dollars and an idea. So we went for it. this was saturday... anyway, she has a portable dvd player with a car charger, so she got that, and a bunch of dvd's, and brought them with her and we went to little ceasers, picked up some eats. So we went out to a suburb town around our area and just rode around looking for a spot to camp out at. We found this weird little area behind these buildings. It was so secluded and private. I LOVED it. So we went there and watched 2 movies, eventually we were all over one another. We both got our 'fixes', we kissed, ate, laughed at movies, had a form of sex, and even cuddled and talked for a little while at one point. Later we drove home having fun listening to the radio, and sharing a 2 liter bottle of pop... it was... SOOOO fun. I drove back home after dropping her off doing 90 mph just from excitement alone.... and i saw her again today. I went and got her from school because she would've been on the bus way too late at night in my opinion. So i went and got her, bought her some food and took her home... I was fairly upset by the end of this day though because we had to cut our little hang out session short because she has class tomorrow, and she had home work... it sucks.. but i was a good boy...

that feels really good to hear. lol. It makes me wanna blush. but i have to stop and flex my manly muscles to keep from doing that... lol just kidding. But yeah, that feels good to hear someone say.

yeah man. Thats what makes her so fun to explore. Its like.... like... goin to driver's ed for 10 months and finally getting to drive the car... or.... lol. I dunno man, i cant think of a better analogy. She's so.....whew...

i didnt realize but now that i think about it, i see how that may very well be true.

i would definitely say SOMETHING to your sister because thats not even cool. Like, even if they are tlaking that much and its completely friend's basis, she should still be coming to you a little more about their conversations ebacsue she's supposed ot be on your team if anyhting. It shouldnt be just like you're getting abandoned by both of them. Like they talk and neither of them really talks to you. Do you trust your sister not to do something like this? Just...be careful..