The question is....WHY ???

[piggypooh]

with all the dangers in the world, like drugs, alchol, disease, international terrorism, peadophiles etc etc, the question is WHY do people want to bring children into this dreadful world ? The sheer thought of raising a child is terrifying and i just can't see why people WANT to have children. I understand Women wanting kids cos its their "biological clock" telling them to have them, but when you think about the cost, the hassle, the stress, the anxiety, the worry. If i had a son or daughter, id not be able to cope cos i the emotional stress would mean i wouldn't be able to do my job properly or even enjoy my life. Maybe i just don't have the "parent" bug that most other people do. Its a good feeling, actualy, to know that i'll never need to worry about drugs, teenage sex, smoking, bad school reports, education fees, expensive vacations, expensive clothes and bullying. Maybe ive just thought long and hard about the realities of parenthood and decided its not for me

[Iwantittoend]

Good question...I honestly don't know. I don't think I want kids myself.

[RayKay]

Well...I don't have children, but I can say the reason I want them is because it is a way to add more love in my life, to my family, my partner...and to the world.

 

I really believe it is the power of love that is also going to change this world...when we stop being selfish and think only of "what we can get" out of a situation, and we start caring more for the well being of others. That includes loving others unconditionally - like our children - and I really believe it does change your entire perception of the world, and inspires many to see why change is needed too.

 

It is easy to put it in black and white and see the "cons" of it all, the pros on the other hand are less tangible, and unseen until you experience it.

 

Family is incredibly important to me. It is family whom is what makes it worth it at the end of the day. My life has not been easy...but I am so fortunate and happy I AM here.

 

 

Having children is a choice. If someone does not want them, that is perfectly right for them. If someone does, that is perfectly right for them.

[darkpumpkin]

It's not for many people and I for one would not want to be responsible for bring a child into this world who ever felt alone or as desperate or wanted to end their life like I did. But then I look at my family and I look at my parents. The older I get the more I want children. Life is a gift no matter how horrible a nightmare it maybe and if I can give it I think I would

[Jetta]

I think the same thing and I've brought two children into this world and now that I had a "normal" child I actually would want more (if I could afford it). They bring joy, excitment, add vitality and life. When you have a good kid it's fun.

[Mythical_Suicide]

I see it in a different view than most I guess, and I guess you can't honestly understand it fully until you have felt the love of your own child.. Yes, the world is a sad place but if the population quit having children because situations aren't "ideal" then the whole population would just whither away and the human race would become extinct, what good is that going to do? I could never imagine myself not ever having my son, he is what brings happiness to me nothing else can make me feel the way he does, with all the bad and terrible going wrong in the world he is the one bit of innocence I still hold on to.

[gfein347]

This is a really interesting topic. I've always had a thought that I wanted kids someday, but this is really causing me to reconsider. With all of the things going on in the world that the OP mentioned, are we really doing the kids a favor by bringing them into this world?

[Mythical_Suicide]

 

I think that people should have to apply for a licence to have children. You have to have a licence to drive, to own a gun, to own a dangerous pet, to work in certain careers but any scrote can bring another life into this world, neglect it, screw it up and turn it into an even more dreadful version of themselves. It sickens me.

 

I agree 100 percent !!

[shes2smart]

Hold up on the "women have a bio clock" assumption....I've NEVER experienced that.

 

Y'know, I don't understand why people would wanna work as doctors, lawyers, police officers, military members or firefighters, either....but I sure am glad there are people who find joy and satisfaction in those lines of work. I feel the same way about folks who want to be parents...happy for 'em, don't understand 'em, wouldn't wanna be 'em.

 

About the age of 15, I started to think I didn't want to be a parent. By the time I was in my mid-20's that opinion had solidified. In my late-20's, I learned I was infertile and couldn't have children anyway. I went out and celebrated.

 

Just because people like you and I cannot fathom the rewards, pleasures and joys of parenthood/children, doesn't mean they are not there. There very obviously ARE some strong positives to it, or everyone would avoid it.

 

Ultimately, I'd much rather see people who want to have kids have them rather than people who "accidentally" turn up pregnant, or people like me who already KNOW they're not mommy/daddy material.

[piggypooh]

 

I think that people should have to apply for a licence to have children. You have to have a licence to drive, to own a gun, to own a dangerous pet, to work in certain careers but any scrote can bring another life into this world, neglect it, screw it up and turn it into an even more dreadful version of themselves. It sickens me.

 

I ALSO AGREE 100%

[Locke2121]

Simple really. By giving up in the face of such terrible things, you let them win. But, having a child, teaching right from wrong, loving it and helping make the right choices in life, you fight back...and eventually you'll win.

[piggypooh]

Simple really. By giving up in the face of such terrible things, you let them win. But, having a child, teaching right from wrong, loving it and helping make the right choices in life, you fight back...and eventually you'll win.

 

....and eventualy we'll grow old add die.

 

What exactly DO we win ???

 

What about Hitler's parents. What did they win ?

[secretsoul]

Its true that being a parent is not for everyone. The emotional stress that comes along with raising a child in today's world is seemingly not worth it sometimes. Personally, I still want to have a child. Keep in mind that I'm considering how horrible this earth is, but also keep in mind I'm considering how wonderful life can be, if you let it.

[piggypooh]

If you raise your kids right you'll burst with pride and be so proud of them that not a lot else matters. My parents are so proud of my brother and I and it makes them feel good to know that they've done a great job at raising us and that we've remained such a closeknit, happy family. That's what you win.

 

 

Pride comes before a fall

AND its one of the seven deadly's

 

 

[Dako]

piggypooh

 

I felt somewhat the same as a child, and at 16 decided to get a vasectomy. When I became sexually active, I got fixed after a lot of soulsearching.

I like kids, but the closest I ever came was dating single mothers in my 20s. I always considered adoption as a possibility, since I do enjoy kids, having had some fine times with nieces and borrowed kids.

No bioclock here, especially after age 50, but last week I spent time with a mother and her baby. He was the most beautiful lil guy I ever saw.

 

I do envy people who've raised the sorts of kids who improve the world. My niece has three kids who fit that description.

[Mythical_Suicide]

Pride comes before a fall

AND its one of the seven deadly's

 

 

 

 

Such negativity on the views of life.

 

I understand kids are not for everyone, but no-one can honestly say anything about being a parent until they've experienced the love of their own child.. Believe me it's so much different than other kids, other people's kids annoy the crap out of me and I can't stand them but the love I have for my son is not even possible to put into words.

[Dako]

I truly wish you were right, but not every parent is so loving.

Some people should never have children.

 

If no one can have an opinion until they have a child, then what about the big decision to have that child? I wish more consideration would go into that decision, and there would be less unwanted children.

[shes2smart]

I wish more consideration would go into that decision, and there would be less unwanted children.

 

Amen, brother!

[Mythical_Suicide]

I truly wish you were right, but not every parent is so loving.

Some people should never have children.

 

If no one can have an opinion until they have a child, then what about the big decision to have that child? I wish more consideration would go into that decision, and there would be less unwanted children.

 

I agree, and that wasn't my whole point.. my whole point was every sits around and talks about how having kids is this and that when in reality they dont know how it is never once did I say no-one could have an opinion untilhaving children. I definitely agree, people need to consider that alot more before playing around and getting pregnant and then leaving thweir child neglected.

[Leonhart]

I would answer the question with one of my own: Who would anyone NOT want to have children?

 

Is this world crappy and chaotic? You'd better believe it. But just because other people have screwed up this world doesn't mean I should suffer, nor does it mean I should put things I want on hold for them either. Like Locke said, it's akin to running away.

 

The sheer amount of negativity in this topic is enough to make my stomach turn. I could counter every negative point by putting a positive spin on it. Instead of saying, 'this world sucks, I don't want to being kids into it,' why not think that by bringing kids into it, and raising them right, they can grow up and change this rotten world for the better?

 

Half full or half empty indeed.

 

And I'm not sure about the biological clock argument. It may have merit, but I'm a guy and want kids, so I don't fully buy it.

 

Basically, almost every reason a person can muster for not wanting kids is a selfish one. "It would interfere with my life. It would be too much of a hassle. It would distract me from my (almighty) career. It would cramp my style, etc." Sure, not wanting to make anyone suffer in this rotten world is one unselfish view, but it's also a very negative view. But it's probably good that many people who focus primarily and only on themselves don't have kids. The world does not need more egocentric people.

 

Obviously, not everyone should have kids. Irresponsible, abusive people do not need children. They need to grow up first, then consider children. (Easier said than done.) The sad thing is, many unfit parents do have kids, and the otherwise would-be great parents, do not (or usually 'cannot').

[Leonhart]

Love is expressed outwardly, not inwardly. Having children to love is not a selfish motive. Any parent knows that having children is one of the most self-giving things one can do.

 

People can do whatever they wish. That's not my point. I already gave reasons as to why it is often a selfish thing to do.

[Leonhart]

Wilhelm, you're a rare one. God bless you.

 

I'm not rare at all. But thank you.

 

Maybe on the internet my kind is rare, but hardly in real life. My idealism is more commonly shared than you may think.

[Dako]

Some parents don't have them, but adopt them from agencies or when marrying a single parent. Some people never have a suitable relationship for parenthood.

[Leonhart]

Some parents don't have them, but adopt them from agencies or when marrying a single parent. Some people never have a suitable relationship for parenthood.

 

I know.

 

I often thought of adopting, even if I never were to get married. But I decided against that plan for now. I mean, why walk around believing I'll never get married at my age? Kind of silly, don't you think?

 

But it does enforce the concept of one day having kids to love and care for.

[Dako]

I spent a period of time caring for my niece while my sis struggled.

I changed diapers, taught her to read and had a pretty heavy attachment to her, enough to hurt me when my sis married and moved away.

 

I dated a woman with a cute little girl, but her mother became annoying.

 

My point is that things aren't always simple, and even us selfish childless folks have hearts.