Should I read a book at a night club?

[inter-verted]

I know this may sound silly but since I have nothing else better to do other than sit and drink a beer all night with no one to be with, I might as well read a book. I could go to coffee shops and do the same thing but it's too conservative and boring there. Plus, there aren't as many hot looking girls there just book worms studying. I want to stand out and get attention but not being a clown or cocky just silent and intriguing.

 

What do you guys think? Will I freak the clubbers out or look like a dork and get pounded on by a mad drunk, or spark some interest in an extroverted hot woman who is tired of dealing with macho jocks?

 

The book I'm taking to the club is "The Shy Single" and hopefully it will help me in finding a date. I could take "The Complete Idiots Guide to Dating" but it's too bulky LOL.

[lady00]

On a practical level, how can you concentrate on reading when you're at a club with loud music on?

[renaissancewoman101]

Also the lighting in a nightclub usually isnt conducive to reading.

[TheRedQueen]

If I saw a man reading at a night club, I'd think he was a few sandwhiches short of a picnic.

 

A man reading at a casual pub or quiet bar is acceptable, but a man "reading" at a night club of all places, is just plain ludicrous.

 

So yeah, I don't think it'd be a good idea.

[CarnelianButterfly]

I'd think dork or weirdo.

 

Like some hot girl is going to think "oh what a nerd, I must get him to break out of his shell!"

 

That only happens in movies, in real life, you'll get looks, but only as people give you a wide berth.

[settinuplife]

I think it would make you look very comfortable with yourself, like who cares what people think. Which is a good attitude to have. Some are attracted to that, someone who is not afraid to be unique.

[scarew]

It would really depend on what type of night club: what type of people go there, what kind of music is playing.

 

IMO, it seems kind of hurtin. You could just read a book in a coffee shop like you said. But you want to meet hot girls. The thing is, everyone will think the same thing. They will think that you really AREN'T being true to yourself because if you wanted to read, a club isn't the best atmosphere.

 

Look, if your looking to hang out at a club but have no one to go with, do something you can genuinely enjoy doing at a club! Go to one that plays your style of music, and dance upfront right by the speakers. Or if you're a different type, go to a sports bar/ night club kind of place where you can at least sit and watch the game if you're alone. One cannot truly enjoy reading a book at a club imo because of the loud music and all that. So it just seems silly.

 

Why can't you ask someone u know to go with u? Just say "hey I want to check out the clubs in town but have no one to go with, do u go clubbing often?"

[renaissancewoman101]

I agree with scarew, go to a nightclub and dance by yourself. Be confident. You can attract some "action" that way.

 

A few years ago, I had to go to Las Vegas on a business trip. Stayed at a nice hotel that had a cool nightclub that played techno music. I went to the club by myself and had a great time dancing and even had a few guys eyeing me.

[spirits]

interesting idea. Try to bring this idea into other settings. Don't go to nightclubs if you don't fit in. Explore where you can meet healthier people and chances are, you might have more in common with them. I personally wouldn't go for girls who frequently go to nightclubs.

[isidore]

Too thought out. Now writing a book at a deafening nightclub...now there's an idea. Your pen would be zig-zagging accross the page as the bass slams you.

[Night Pumpkin]

There are lots of fun things one can do by themself other than read books at night clubs.

 

Here are some:

 

1. Pretend you are a tourist, and go around city landmarks asking hot girls to take your photo for you. I did that once, and it was a lot of fun.

 

2. Cook up some yummy cookies or something with a nice smell, buy a daily transit pass, and ride the trains and buses talking to hot girls about your dish. I tell you, its such a conversation opener.

 

i don't know...

[Spugly Fuglet]

as Bill Hicks once said

 

"We got our selfs a reader!"

 

Ok I have done this, not cuz I wonted to look like some super cool guy but becouse I was sooooooooo bored, befor pda's and mobils I use to carry a good read every where I went, on the times I was clubing, the music so loued I could not hear otheres talk I would wip out me book and read, one thing you should know "I have never given a **** what others think about me" I have been called waerdo, nut case, odd, by meany even my own family, but I love larning and hate dull knight clubs,

 

I never got a date in a club, becouse you can not hear your self think, no bars, coffee shops some where you can talk that's the place for me, knight clubs are meat markets, they have such loued music to hide just how dumb you are. looks are all, and that dos not cut it for me.

[inter-verted]

Well, it turns out my idea sorta worked. Since it was a Wed. night it wasn't packed like on weekends. One unattractive girl came up and thought I was staring at the bottom of my beer since the book was under the table on purpose. I do care what others think unlike the rest of you. You see I should've mentioned I have social anxiety disorder and can't try all those good ideas and suggestions you posted. Thanks anyway.

 

The girl turned out a very mean one with too much tomboyish attitude. I seem to be attracting these types for some reason. At least I got to small talk with a girl for the first time. I can't even approach one, they come to me if I'm lucky enough. I asked her questions about how to go about this bar scene. When she mentioned that the women are turning into playas as well my entire belief system about getting a nice, mature girl in there was shattered into pieces. I can't imagine why girls would want to be like guys and hurt each other. This is sick and disgusting but I'm so desperate and needy I'd do anything for any woman.

 

Which is why I screwed up again buying a drink for a girl who has taken me by the hand and pull me to the bar. Everytime she has done this the past few weeks on a regular basis I cave in and satisfy her every need. I'm a pushover so I can't be assertive and say no. She knows how to take advantage of a nice guy like me and always wins. I'm infatuated with her but don't have the guts to be with her. I'm so confused and depressed now unable to figure out how to get her.

 

Anyway the book had some great info. on why I'm so shy. What slapped me in the face is realizing I have social phobia. That might not make sense to some of you seeing how I go to bars. No one with that debilitating illness could do that! After hitting rock bottom after being played again tonight I just want to go into house arrest and never leave my apartment. The more I go out and try to find someone, the more I get into trouble.

 

The book had some good questionares and proved that I am "painfully shy." I'm gonna return on the weekend and read again because the night club scene is getting very boring. I told that to the girl who approached me at the very beginning of my time there and she didn't believe me. Everyone thinks it's all an act that I'm very shy and never had a girlfriend. She was irritated by that fact I'm such a wuss and don't know how to stand up for myself.

 

Oh well, somehow I will find the right one even at a club. I know I'm going about this the wrong way as most of you have pointed out to do what's best and fun for me and not stoop to their level. As my username emphasizes I'm currently in between or on middle ground of an introvert vs. extrovert. The only place you find a lot of extroverts is at a night club and nowhere else especially in the town I live in which only has aprox. 60,000 people who are mostly old and retired.

 

I have a long way to go but eventually I'll achieve my goal of finding a girlfriend.

[Pending_Thought]

I am going through something like this, except it got to an extreme point where i avoided work and friends and...well.. everyone. I dreaded even speaking to people on the phone. I was like this for alot of my life until i became homeless and was forced to find means to carry on living. I eventually joined job corps and was basically forced into interacting with people. It took awhile.. but i actually started to like it. I made friends with people for the first time in a very, very long time. Sometimes being forced into things is the only way to get over them.

 

So my suggestion to you would be to force yourself into conversation with people, the only way to learn is by actually doing it.

 

I eventually returned to my introverted self, i've been battling a depression for a long time, and i am having to force myself to speak to people again. Its been getting easier and ive felt better about myself in the process.

 

Good luck to you.

[PRSOV]

Haha... how funny. If I wanted to read a book I would stay home and read in bed where its comfortable and quiet.

[cpc28655]

Well, that is one way to attract attention to yourself. But if all you are wanting to do is attract attention to yourself, there are more memorable ways of doing so. Try dancing with one of those big hands they have at basketball games. Yea, that'll do it..........so I've heard.

[Kirst22]

We can't help whether we are introverts or extraverts - but just because someone is an introvert does not make them shy. I am an introvert - borderline to extravert. But I am a confident and outgoing person.

 

To be honest with you as well. if I was at a club and i seen a guy reading a book, it would be a little weird. I like going to clubs and having a dance and what attracts me to a guy when I am at a club is confidence and a guy who is not afraid to get up and have a dance. Although I tend to enjoy bars or less clubby clubs - the itneration with people is better.. My housemate on the other hand loves clubs - because she sees them as a market palce for single guys looking for one night stands and if most girls that go to the clubs are like here then the girl might only be looking for a one night stand... times have changed and yes girls do go out there play guys just as much as guys play girls. If you want to find a nice girl i dont believe a lcub is the place wether you are reading ina corner or dancing on the dancefloor.... I was sitting at the train station the other day and this guy started talking to me and to me i don't find that weird - if it wasnt for the fact i am in a confusing time at the moment I amy have let him have my number - unlike the guys an hr later when i was walking down the street said out of the blue "do you drink bourbob" and i was like ahh yeah and the hes gone can i buy you a drink and ive gone NO.. so yah dont try that move lol

[rocio]

We can't help whether we are introverts or extraverts - but just because someone is an introvert does not make them shy. I am an introvert - borderline to extravert. But I am a confident and outgoing person.

 

Yes, I think that the extrovert/introvert distinction lies in the way you process information. Whether you typically process it internally, or whether you rely on external influences to process it. Being an introvert is not synonymous with being shy (or extrovert syn. with being outgoing). Shyness has more to do with confidence, comfort, past experiences..

 

Anyway, I really think you're going about this all wrong. The point of going to a club is to have fun - or at least look like you're having fun so you can pick up. Going to clubs alone is never a good idea for a guy. Cute and confident girls can pull it off, but not guys. It is just make you more insecure and secluded. And any girl you meet in that situation is just going to sense your neediness and lack of comort. 99% of girls will be turned off. The odd girl may see your vulnerability as an opportunity and they will use you. Either way, you can't win.

 

Bottom line - if you go to a club, go with at least one other guy. And pretend to be having fun.

[Byron1979]

I don't know. Some of those bookworms in cofee shops are kinda cute. But I don't know. I would like to know of healthier places to meet women myself, because I have been to clubs and I don't like the environment much.

[inter-verted]

Well, that idea sort of worked, I guess. A guy friend of a girl who approached me informed her of the strange thing I was doing. She came over and asked what I was reading. I explained why I was reading, since I had nothing else better to do. She asked what it was about and I told her shy singles. She consoled me saying "it's tough meeting people here." Like I didn't know that already! I wanted to go over and talk to her once she returned to her table with her guy friend. Something inside prevented me from doing so. I guess I got too picky about her face and tallness. Way to go I just passed up another opportunity to talk to someone.

 

I'll never bring a book to read at a club ever again. I thought most would think I was a nerd or a show off. A little later when I changed my location from being near a lot of women in the dining area to sitting next to the pool tables. One drunk guy came up and asked me what I was reading. Then informed the others I was a shy guy. He gave me some pointers as to how to approach women which is: just go out there and talk to them. Easy to say hard to do. When he asked do I have anything simple to talk about, I made the excuse I'm too intelligent to be simple minded. He sneered and probably thought I was a dork that didn't belong here. Then has the nerve to tell his girl buddy I'm shy and she sort of relates when I say that approaching others causes anxiety.

 

No one understands the pain I go through due to this stupid mental illness. I'm going to tell my doctor to prescribe Klonopin to destroy this social anxiety once and for all.

[galaxy71]

There are plenty of introverted, shy guys who go to bars and nightclubs to meet women. Interestingly, a lot of them are successful at flirting and seducing women in these sorts of venues. They like to call themselves "pick-up artists". There is a large community of pick-up artists who share techniques and strategies on how to attract hot, party girls. The advice they give is much more aggressive than the advice given on this website. They emphasize such topics as openers, banter, routines, kino escalation(touching), negs, and rapport.

 

These guys could be found on websites like link removed, link removed, and link removed. You should also read books like "The Game" by Neil Strauss and "The Mystery Method" by Mystery and Lovedrop.

 

That girl is right that women are turning into playas. Since women are becoming more and more part of the workforce, they don't need marriage to have sex now. With birthcontrol and condoms, women and men are engaging in more short-term relationships.

 

BTW, if you realize nigtclubs aren't your thing, you could try church or a swing dancing group.

[Northalius]

Don't do it, unless you're really into wanting to read while at a nightclub. The best thing to do, is be yourself... not act! No matter where or what you're doing, don't try, just be.

[scotty77]

Read a book at a nightclub? That's insane,no offence.Reading a book at the club tells the women there at the time that you have no interest in meeting them.If you want to become less shy and more social,you have to force yourself.It takes a lot of hard work,I am trying to do that myself now.Breaking lifelong patterns isn't easy.If you can't talk to women in bars[i can't,not yet] then practice in other settings.

[ghost69]

i guess reading a book is better than the old guy standing in the corner eyeballing every woman that walks in the door with his hand in his pocket. i've seen that.