Going to Upper Management to Defend Outcast

[Dilly]

My supervisor turned in his resignation a month ago and leaves tomorrow. His manager and upper management have outcasted him due to an emotional affair that developed with another work contact, his co-supervisor. I never knew about it until recently and from my perspective, he has done a tremendous job and has remained completely objective in doing his job.

 

I don't have regular conversations with upper managment but I will say that essentially his boss and the one above her are not people I would confront on this matter after giving me poor reviews for two years in a row in order to stifle my growth and prevent me from moving to another project.

 

Having said that, I am scared of going three tiers up to upper management to defend my supervisor, but I feel it is the right thing to do. I just wonder if it will hurt me instead. I have been quiet and easy-going here at work over the last several months because I just want to get through the day happy and I try not to get my head too wrapped around the BS, but I feel he has been wronged and I want to defend him.

 

In doing so in the past, I have had my head served on a platter in my performance review, so I am VERY VERY hesitant to do anything. I firmly and wholeheartedly disagree with the assessment and see through it as an oppressive attempt by management to intimidate me into just doing my job and shutting up, but my moral fibers are coming apart knowing that my boss's boss and her boss are kicking another VERY GOOD employee out of the door.

 

The solution long-term is to leave. But I so want to ... attempt to give my perspective. I just don't think it will be in my best interest.

[RogerRamjet]

For the love of god don't do it.

 

That is all.

[Dako]

I'd keep out of it and look for a job.

 

I had a similar situation at a job, yet the affair wasn't so harmless. In my case I blew the whistle on a co-worker who worked half-days but padded her timecard with overtime. Our supervisor knew she was seldom there, but she always arrived in time to have lunch with him.

I ended up with people reacting in ways I never expected. People I trusted turned on me to curry favor, and I lost my job after 15 years.

Going up the ladder will put you in the position of negating the natural order of top-down management. Unless the upper management cares about some underling, they'll go right to middle management to gloss this over and you're history.

 

If you want your job, don't even consider it.

[chickidee23]

What are the in-office dating policies where you work? That could be part of the reason your supervisor had to resign?

 

I would advise against going to upper management regardless of the situation. It sucks to see people getting mistreated at work- I deal with this daily as well- but if you, like me, can not afford to lose your job, it's not worth it. My dad always tells me when I tell him about problems I have with work that I am replaceable and unless I am willing to face that fact, I need to do what's in my best interest.

[Dako]

I've always considered job stress to mean being jobless.

 

I'm between jobs myself...

[BellaDonna]

It sounds like in your work environment it's "survival of the fittest". If I were you I would stay out of it- just because it seems like you could lose YOUR chance of surviving if you don't.

 

You have a maternity leave coming up- you don't want to get them mad- they might play dirty.

 

BellaDonna

[Dilly]

Just to clarify, I would not go to upper management to be an informant of the affair because the management is already aware and is outcasting him because of it.

 

But I agree, why put my head on a spit?

 

I'm done being a hero. Where are my heroes when I need them to take up for me? I honestly have never had someone go to bat for me and I have repeatedly gone to bat for others.

 

I think it's time to change.

[Dilly]

Thanks everybody for your support in advising me to keep a low profile. I think it's best, too. I honestly have been experiencing such a monumental change in perspective since becoming pregnant. Wrong will always exist in the world and perhaps it's best just to try not to contribute to it, rather than providing a remedy for it.

[Beec]

He has resigned, and I doubt that they will considered asking him back no matter what you do. Asking him back would create an environment in which his supervisors might feel undermined. If he had resigned, I'd accept that and let him go, if I was upper management. So, I don't think you can change things.

 

I'd also be looking to leave, because this does not seem like a great place of opportunity.

[BeStrongBeHappy]

One fundamental principle about work environments is that organizations HATE dealing with their workers emotional and personal issues, and resent the interference of anything that gets in the way of work.

 

So it might be totally unfair, but a reality that if your own boss was causing any form of waves due to his emotional affair, other people talking or gossiping about it, or allegations of favoritism, harassment, etc., the company and its management will not want to touch it with a ten foot pole, and will frequently ENCOURAGE freezing someone who is behaving in a way that is causing talk and problems, such as emotional affairs at work... it really is not professional behavior, and if your boss was in a management position, they may have firm legal grounds on which to force him out...

 

So by going up the ladder to defend someone, especially someone who has already quit, and whose own personal behavior was not impeccable, you are only shooting yourself in the foot, and showing that you are taking your own focus off work and getting involved for personal, emotional reasons.

 

It's great that you have a friend and want to defend him, but really, if he has been engaging in questionable personal behavior at work, regardless of how people above him reacted to it, one cannot always separate work performance from personal behavior, so they may also see him as a liability to the company because of upheaval he has caused, and hence view your defense of him as yet another sign that what is going on has distracted people from work, and you are distracted from work because you feel the need to defend someone who has quit and was considered a problem.

 

if the work environment where you are is making you unhappy, and you don't like the management or are getting bad reviews, there is no point continuing there yourself and you should look for other work when it is convenient and appropriate for you (after you have had your baby and are ready to work again). Maybe your boss who resigned can help you get a job where he is going?

[Dilly]

Thank you Beec and BeStrongBeHappy. Fact is, the people I work with (my colleagues) are great. And my boss's boss moved off the project and my boss and his emotional paramour are both nearly gone as well. Lots of change is in the works, another reason to lay low. So I anticipate with hope that by just chilling out and resisting the urge to get involved in these matters, I will get a better review next year. I want stability in my life more than anything and I can have that with this job so THANKS for firming up my position to stay the heck out of it. No win situation.

[Dilly]

WOW, maybe there is a God!!! I just was told by my new boss's boss that I got a decent increase (at least cost of living maybe plus 1%) in my salary AND a nice-sized bonus! I had no idea!!! This is getting better, much better!!!

[BellaDonna]

Congrats!

 

 

[ImThatGirl]

WOW, maybe there is a God!!! I just was told by my new boss's boss that I got a decent increase (at least cost of living maybe plus 1%) in my salary AND a nice-sized bonus! I had no idea!!! This is getting better, much better!!!

 

Whew!!! Thank goodness you didn't go to them!

 

Congratulations!!!!!

 

And about your comment "there will always be wrong in the world." Yes there definitely will. I think it's important to stand up for what you believe in but there are certainly instances that it is not in your best interest to do so.

[Beec]

WOW, maybe there is a God!!! I just was told by my new boss's boss that I got a decent increase (at least cost of living maybe plus 1%) in my salary AND a nice-sized bonus! I had no idea!!! This is getting better, much better!!!

 

Great. Congrats.

[Dilly]

Thanks everyone (Beec, Bella, and ITG - alphabetical arrangement haha)! I really do feel like I can go home today with something to smile about. WHEW! I really needed this, really badly!!! But I wasn't counting on it, so that makes for a great gift.

[Shadows Light]

Congrats Dilly....

 

Read your post with particular interest. I work for a fortune 500 company and have seen almost the same situation occur a few times.

 

I chose "Not" to speak up. Corporate America can at times feel cold and unfealing. They cut the emotion right out of the biz... the main focus is the bottom line and making the share holders happy. Morals, Ethics, and Values are only important if its business related.

 

I'm glad you feel good about your raise and things are going well for you. Hope that the changes occurring are sustainable and ones that you can live with.

[mgirl]

In doing so in the past, I have had my head served on a platter in my performance review, so I am VERY VERY hesitant to do anything. I firmly and wholeheartedly disagree with the assessment and see through it as an oppressive attempt by management to intimidate me into just doing my job and shutting up, but my moral fibers are coming apart knowing that my boss's boss and her boss are kicking another VERY GOOD employee out of the door.

 

Don't take this the wrong way, and i read all of your post... but your situation and the way you refer to your 'performance' review just makes me realise how impersonal and utterly abusive is the system of performance reviews. For example... you are relying on the objective observations of another. No, hang on a minute, your future rests on the objecitve musings of another, because it seems so much hangs on the outcomes of 'performance reviews'...

 

It is just another symptom of the impersonal and rationalised system that makes us beg for the next step on our career ladder.

 

Thank-you for opening my eyes to the corporate world and what a ruthless and completely uncaring place it can be.

 

In my opinion, don't stand up for him. At the end of the day, he wouldn't do it for you and not many others would do either. That is the reality of the environment we all study hard at University to enter - the corporate world. It's just the way it is.. I used to think that that environment treated people fairly, but it doesn't at all. It is all a fallacy. People are either good or bad no matter where you work. In my experience, even those most closest to you, or those you look up to the most will all fall by the wayside, or move on. Ultimately, it makes no difference to most employers as to whether those 'good' people work there or not. In that environment, everybody is expendable!

 

Sorry, it's just the way i feel and your post has reminded me of why i DON'T want to return to the system of begging and grovelling that is the corporate world. I would rather starve...

[mgirl]

Oh, ha ha! I hadn't read the rest of the responses and your news of getting a payrise.

 

Hmm, money makes our principles disappear really quickly doesn't it?! The question is... do we follow our true dreams (most corporate people don't have dreams... that is why they enter the capitalist system and hope for the best)? Or become mortgate slaves for the rest of our lives?

[Dilly]

Hey M, loved both of your posts, and yeah, I feel like a sellout, but you know what, it's sometimes more about the ends than the means and I need the means to get to the ends and with a baby on the way, the logic to survive supercedes the logic to rescue anyone who otherwise is capable of being completely independent. Priorities take over and ideals take a backseat to the reality. I'm just happy that I didn't get doubly messed over.