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About chickidee23

  • Birthday 02/04/1984

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  1. My bf asked me to write him a poem a while ago - he has read previous ones and liked them - but I couldn't write one on the spot. So i've been working on one, trying to get it done in time for his birthday (tomorrow!!). This is just the rough draft but if the one you loved wrote this for you, would you like it? You The shape of your nose The way your eyelashes curl Even all the hair your body grows It's everything about you When you make me laugh When you take my hand Even when you wink at me It's everything about you Your kisses leave me breathless I always shiver beneath your sweet caress You have a way of easing my mind My dreams are peaceful when we are intertwined My thoughts are never far from you My heart has decided To you it shall always be true I dream of the future More than I ever used to It's all because of you
  2. The one who swoons And carelessly falls The one who feels too deep Despite the reality of it all The one who hopes constantly And dreams endlessly The one who believes in the fairytale blindly The one who seems to almost welcome the disappointment The one who brings upon herself an incurable ailment For she lacks the ability to be strong Her control of this situation Has long since been gone She seems to unknowingly open, not only her heart But also her soul To torture and destruction To which not even the most healing words can console This is the girl I have once let myself become But I have promised myself Never again So I do what I must I do not trust the words whispered in my ear For I know the sweetest expressions Most always have a meaning quite unclear This game I no longer wish to play So I will keep the distance I will keep pushing you away Because I don't believe in things Like love at first sight Or falling head-over-heels Believing in those ideals Blinds you to the truth So you can not see what is real For never again will I be that silly girl Not unless you would be a silly boy for me, too.
  3. Thank you for the comment and encouragement, simply complicated
  4. I am incapable Of feeling what I want to feel The pain I cause myself is inescapable But I work so hard to conceal I smile when I want to cry I pretend nothing is wrong Then I end up with a life I don't even know And instead of trying to keep the world I've created I simply say goodbye The people I surround myself with I do not trust They tell me their secrets But mine stay hidden deep within me No matter how much I want to I don't let them in And their view of me becomes miscontrued So what they think they know is only as deep as the skin The heart that beats within me Has never really been known It has never really been free It is encased in a clear, thick wall Like bullet proof glass I'm only trying to protect myself To keep from repeating the past But I also feel I'm not really alive I play it safe so I know That no matter what I will survive Once in a while, though An oppurtunity comes around It knocks on the wall And my heart hears the sound It feels for an instant What I wish I could always feel I'm given the chance to open up A chance to reveal The thoughts and feelings that lay deep within me Will I allow it this time? Will I let myself go free? I wish I knew the answer But there is no way to forsee So I'll give it my best I'll try to let it out and trust And only time will tell the rest
  5. Thanks fallenshadow! I really appreciate the comment. I will be sure to keep an eye out for your poetry
  6. The wall came crashing down And I let myself feel freely Even though I knew what it would mean I opened up, made room And you settled in Now the pain is flowing freely But I know you don't mean to It's my fault for believing so blindly For allowing myself to hope and dream For letting the feelings who should belong solely to another Belong to you as well Now the tears that refuse to come for the things they should Are threatening to flow But I know once they start, they will be merciless And I demand more of myself Refuse to show my weaknesses any longer You will not know You will not see As I said before The only person who can ruin me Is me *This poem is an old one. I've never shared any before so I kind of wanted to see what people thought. Thanks*
  7. Thank you! I won't lie, I'm not excited to get this done but I feel better. If there are people who reccommend doing it after getting it done themselves, then it's obviously not that bad!! I'll let you know what I think afterwards, kellbell!
  8. It is never too late to find someone to spend the rest of life with. And there is never a guarantee that you have taken all the different paths that there are- there are still ways to find happiness. It seems to me like maybe if you took things one step at a time instead of trying to take leaps at a time, it might make things more bearable and reachable. Try going day to day and at the end of each day, take some time to sit back and think of one good thing that happened that day. If there is nothing you can think of, be sure to make it your goal the next day to MAKE something good happen. When things are bad, it takes time for them to get better. But never forget that you are in charge of your own happiness. Everyone needs help, there's no denying that, but when it all comes down to it, people are better at disappointing you than being reliable for you- it's the unfortunate selfish nature of humans. So in the end, you are all you have so be good to yourself, be VERY good to yourself!! If you ever need someone to give you some encouraging words, some sort of hope or just someone to listen to, I would be more than happy to oblige! Don't ever hesitate to PM me. Best wishes and you will be in my thoughts.
  9. If she is saying she still wants to marry you more than anything, then I don't think she will eventually dump you. Have you ever considered that you are putting too much emphasis and pressure on the sex-part of your relationship? I know that sex is a key part to any relationship but maybe she thinks you are making it too important in the relationship. You do sound like a very compassionate, caring guy and I think she needs someone like you in her life. Maybe attending therapy sessions with her would get her to go regularly? And I do agree with ____X- learning about what she is probably feeling will help the situation greatly so read up on it! There are so many resources out there! Good luck and I hope you are able to help her.
  10. I am doing this as a surprise for my fiance on our wedding night so we can both enjoy it.
  11. Ok, so pain meds and something like wine to relax me. That's really good advice girls, I appreciate it! So one more question- how long does it take for that area to go back to feeling normal?
  12. So I am going this Friday to get the Brazilian wax For those of you who have gotten it done, do you have any advice or tips on how I can prep myself? I am so nervous!!!!!!! Every time I think about it, my stomach starts to hurt. I feel like I'm going to do this instead of go to my appointment-
  13. Have you tried expressing to them that their constant attention and worry that you aren't getting better faster is stressing you out? And as superior147 said, we don't know what you are trying to recover from but depending on what it is, perhaps they are afraid what the outcome of you not fully recovering would be or maybe what happened scared them so much that they want nothing more than for things to go back to normal. Despite all of that, you need make your point known- you need to be allowed to recover at your own pace! No matter what you are recovering from, it's not going to help you at all to feel like you can't take things at your own pace. I would reccommend sitting your boyfriend and family down and talking to them about how they are making you feel. Good luck and best of wishes!
  14. What I like best about my relationship is the fact that I've found someone who I can completely be myself with, someone who is my best friend and also my best lover. Nothing is better than that!!!
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