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How could he ask me this?? Seriously....

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I have been friends with a guy who I met on eharmony over a year ago. We met, we liked eachother...I discovered I wasnt ready yet for a serious committment.


We stayed friends, talk pretty regularly and have been there over this past year for eachothers dating trials and tribulations. At the end of the day we just get along really well and make eachother laugh.


Over the course of the year he's tried to date me numerous times but ive either been dating someone, not ready to date, or just scared to lose such a great friendship.


About 2 months ago we were both single (him more recently then myself) and I mentioned that maybe we hadnt given US a chance. He agreed but said that he is so busy right now he doesnt have time for a girlfriend (and hes still hurting from his ex). I said thats fine and we stayed friends.


Now twice TWICE....in the past couple weeks he's brought up a friends with benefits type situation. I feel so disrespected...he loves me friends wise as i do him...he wont date me...but he wants to just bang me? How can that NOT extinguish the friendship?


I just feel so mad that he'd want to ruin our friendship for sex but not even give US a chance a couple months ago.

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I think it's reasonable. You've rejected him several times and perhaps he didn't really buy your excuses - he just figured you weren't that into him. Now, he doesn't want to take a chance on being rejected yet again, so he figures he'll offer you a no strings attached deal so that he can look for someone who truly wants to be with him. And, it's tricky to go from meeting for the purpose of dating, to not dating and sharing the personal details of your dates, to dating each other - perhaps he got the impression whether accurate or not that you would be comfortable with something more casual.

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Well the first time he brought it up I sort of brushed it off..but now he's brought it up again and was more persistent this time...telling me about sexual tension between us.


Kell...NOPE! This is a guy ive known for over a year as friends...I suggested us getting together a couple weeks before I met and dated the guy I posted about yesterday!


Its only been recently that hes brought up the friends with bene's situation.

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Over the course of the year he's tried to date me numerous times but ive either been dating someone, not ready to date, or just scared to lose such a great friendship.



I don't see why you are so upset at this... You have basically told him "I don't want to date you" multiple times and you both acknowledge there is something between the two of you...


SO he is sick of trying to date you, but really likes you so he figures a f.w.b. is more to your liking... No pressure and you can both have fun without strings...


I don't think it can ruin your friendship if you both don't let it...


Have been in a similar situation and it was fun...


GL in whatever you do...



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