People always downing me on my looks.. Low self esteem.

[Myles]

Lately I've been feeling very unattractive and it's making me depressed. It doesn't help that I have so called friends that seem to make fun of me too. They claim that I need to stop being so sensitive but why crack jokes on my looks?Like I might be out with friends and you know how friends might crack jokes on each other for fun? It just seems like they target my skin problems and the way I look. Like they might say things like shut up pimpleface, or big nose or things like that. I can understand them if these things weren't true but they are... Yet they claim it's a joke. I can deal with the fact that I'm not attractive, I just don't need people constantly reminding me that I'm not. Lately it seems like different people have done this. Makes me begin to wonder if it's true.Then I have pics of me on myspace or whatever and hardly anyone hits me up, makes me wonder if my pics are ugly. I know I shouldn't worry about how other people think but I would like to feel attractive so I can feel more confident but it doesn't help when people are constantly downing me.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Your friends sound horrible! Tell them that it's really hurting your feelings, and to back off. I think that when you feel down on yourself, it affects your self-confidnece and that shows through.

 

This site on the bbc offers a confidence boosting course - you might want to have a quick look at it? They usually offer pretty good advice

 

link removed

[jengh]

wow, those people are NOT your friends... My friends and I joke around with each other KIND OF like that, but we're ALL OKAY with it... if any one of my friends was honestly hurt by that, we'd all stop in an instant. the fact that they continue on tells me soemthing: not real friends. You need to tell them straightforward to knock it off. I don't know how open you are with them, but if you're really comfortable, tell them it makes you self-conscious. They should not be treating you like this. I'm sorry they've killed your self-esteem no one deserves that.

[Myles]

Cool thanks I'm about to read it right now!

 

My friends are good people but I think they tend to be more on the immature side. I told them about how I felt and they just tell me to not take it so hard.I have to ask myself are these guys really my friends if they feel the need to do it? They don't tease me in a bullying type way. We might make jokes toward each other but I just seem to take it harder then anyone. Like yesterday, a female friend and I were going to the movies.She came over to my house and I was still dressing up. She then replied with a comment like, "I don't know why you're trying to look good.. you're ugly" and laughed. I tried to laugh it off and shrug it off as a joke but comments like that annoy me and bother me.

 

Maybe it's time to find some more mature minded friends...

[Kevin T]

Myles, consider getting news friends. If they're REALLY your friends, then they should be a little kinder to you. ("A little" isn't asking too much.)

 

You said you have acne, have you ever considered getting treatment for it? Don't let something you can fix go on.

[skyblue1]

How dare your so called friends say things like that to you. Friends should make you feel goof about yourself. If i was you i would keep away from them for a little while.

[EvaGina]

A good friend and I are SO MEAN to eachother, all the time, she calls me fatas* and I call her saggy boobs... but we love it and we are very close

 

Even my bf and i are mean to eachother, its a sign of endearment and if we go to far we instantly know and reassure the hurt party.

 

It sounds like your friends are just doing this to you, but becuase of your adverse response (even if you try to hide it, they will know) they get irritated that you take it to heart, and they do it even worse

 

Im not saying that its cool, or a good excuse, Im just explaining what they are doing.

Next time, give it back worse... like with the female friend, if shes a bit slutty, ask her why she bothers wearing pants if they will be off for the first guy that asks...

or if she has a flat chest, ask why she bothers wearing a bra...

 

DONT me mean about it, do it in an offhand way... but although I dont normally condone "two wrongs making a right" you will either see its not a big deal and you will get into the spirit of things... or they will realise how it hurts and they will stop...

 

Unless they really are that immature, then they will get all resentfull that thier doormat is fighting back... in which case you are better off without them

[Myles]

Myles, consider getting news friends. If they're REALLY your friends, then they should be a little kinder to you. ("A little" isn't asking too much.)

 

You said you have acne, have you ever considered getting treatment for it? Don't let something you can fix go on.

 

I have acne but I really can't go to a derm right now, maybe in the future but right now is not good because I have to save my money for more important things. My skin is really messed up right now with blemishes, bumps & I'll admit I look very horrible and I've tried store products and everything but no luck. Then I have had these dark circles under my eyes that I've had for years. Then I have like a skin rash on my back and a little on my stomach & I've had that since summer. All of this just makes me feel horrible about myself. I can't even look at myself in the mirror..

 

It's embarrassing going out as it is with the way I look. Then I have people that are constantly putting me down about it doesn't make me feel better. I really just want to get out of this ugly duckling syndrome. It makes me want to work out and get rid of the acne to show everybody that I am good looking. I really have this fixation to improve the way I look..

[xmrth]

How old are you? If you're under 18 at least, can't your parents take you to the doctor? A rash really shouldn't go on for that long and you may need a prescription. And to let your skin be covered in all of that will leave scars that you can NEVER get rid of.

It's something that can be fixed and you will feel so much better about yourself, regardless of whether or not your friends poke at you because of it. It's something that can be easily treated.... it may help you to be more outgoing to not worry about how your skin looks and attract even more friends with your personality... and make first impressions a lot easier. I don't know anyone who had a lot of acne that had it easy, to be honest. It's just the way it is... I had it terrible when I was 12. That was NOT easy.

[charley]

There's a thread here about how to get acne under control. Many people posted good ideas. I posted there too. I know the stuff I posted works good. Others ideas might work too.

 

Your "friends" are not your friends. I was popular in grade school and college. In junior high and high school I made a conscious decision to go it alone because those people were not worth hanging around with. Being alone is better than having enemies posing as friends. Seriously.

 

If you are in high school, take heart. Life after high school is MUCH better for most of us. Except the popular people in high school like football players and cheerleaders. Their life is often pretty much over after high school.

 

Hey I run into jerks and former jerks from high school sometimes, even today. I can't help LMAO when I meet fomerly hot babes who now outweigh me, or are more wrinkled up from excessive suntanning. I love when that happens! Then, add to that the fact that I've gotten better looking after high school. So when I run into those people now, it's role reversal time. Aha ha ha haah! Ahhhhhhhhh! Poetic justice you fat wrinkled exbabe beoches! Also, some of the formerly cool, arrogant guys who now don't have a pot to piss in. More poetic justice!

 

Things will get better for you. For now, weed out your bad "friends" from your real friends. Go it alone if you must. Work on your acne. There's much that can be done for acne that cost little or no money.

[someones_angel]

Your friends sound insecure.They have to put you down to make themselves feel better.I joke with my friends but if it ever really hurt them id stop straight away.

 

As for your acne im a qualified beautician and i had acne a while back.I always found cleasing,toning and moisturising helps.Also try finding a cream to help dry your skin out.

Maybe something with benzoyl peroxide in it.

[Ellie2006]

Your friends sound insecure.They have to put you down to make themselves feel better.I joke with my friends but if it ever really hurt them id stop straight away.

 

I agree with this viewpoint.

 

Although understanding WHY they do it might help you some, it perhaps won't stop them from being so insensitive towards you.

 

Have you talked to them *seriously* about this matter and how it affects you? If you think it might get awkward to talk to several people at once, maybe bring this up with them individually?

 

I had this one friend who was such a nice laid-back guy (perhaps kinda like you? ); this one other friend teased him about random things. He'd laugh it off bc he didn't want people to think he couldn't take a joke. BUT her "jokes" got nastier and nastier and begun to wear his and everyone else's nerves thin. Every once in a while someone would tell her in a nice way to stop teasing him but she'd just slight our comments, saying it was a joke.

 

IMO, it is NOT a joke when both parties aren't laughing.

 

Ultimately, he had to take her aside and really confront her for her bullying ways; yes, even though they *are* your friends, they are acting just like a bully; so please do consider calling them on their insensitive behavior.

 

If they truly are your friends, they will recognize their wrongdoings and cease their hurtful behavior immediately.

 

Take care and good luck to you.

[Myles]

It's not all of them, just a certain few that I think I'm going to cut out of my life anyway. One girl did it to me today, I actually addressed her on that issue. She even said something to this effect, sure your face is messed up but I still love you as a friend."When we make fun of you it's harmless, we still care about you and you shouldn't take comments like that so seriously". She then have the nerve to tell me to stop acting like a punk and that all of us have flaws, it's just that my flaw is acne.She then proceeded to say things like, yeah your skin makes my skin crawl at times but we just tease each other because it's harmless and fun.

 

It's really immature.I'm really trying to feel good about myself. I don't like the way I look period, I don't like how my face looks, I'm skinny and no one seems interested in me. I have pics of me on myspace and I respond to girls and they never respond back to me meaning they wasn't interested in me at all. It makes me feel bad.

 

I think I'm going to try to eat healthier, drink lots of water and excercise. Maybe this will help my acne & not only that but I'll be in good shape too. I just would like to feel attractive as I'm not feeling very confident right now.I'm just so tired of people making fun of me and using me..

[Ellie2006]

Hey Myles,

 

Who wouldn't be tired of insensitivity of other people?

Who wouldn't be tired of users-posing-as-friends?

 

You have every right to feel frustrated.

 

I am glad that you are also taking a proactive measure and using their unnecessary comments to bring about healthy changes in your life: drinking lots of water, sleeping regularly, eating healthier, and exercising will help you feel better overall. And I applaud you for approaching this the right way.

 

Easier said than done, I know, but don't let their words get you down so much. Just let the insults go in one ear and immediately leave the other! BUT then if you can find a way to use their comments constructively (as you have already demonstrated that you can!), then it's a win-win, right?

 

Sheesh, what your friend said today was totally out of line, in my humble opinion; her comments were really uncalled for. Honestly, when it comes down to it, who doesn't have flaws -- be it a personality flaw or a physical one? She was very rude. I am glad, though, that you had enough class not to retaliate.

[Myles]

Right now I just have this attitude like I'll show them!! Like I want to prove to them I can lose the acne and become this really hot stud. It just has me so determined now. I wanna just come back looking good and all of the people that put me down, rejected me etc etc, I want their mouths to drop.

 

I'm really about to drop this girl as my friend. She just comes off so immature and she is the main one that teases me. This was the same girl who made that ugly comment about me when we were going out a night ago.I soo wanted to retaliate Ellie2006 but I didn't. Then she turns around and has the nerve to ask me for money and I told her that I can't give her any money at the moment. She claims she needs 50 dollars for school. I told her to find a job and then she wants to say that I'm not being a good friend.

 

Like I said, I'm just soo past people's ignorance. I'm at a point where it's really annoying me and I want to do something about it. I'm just fed up with being a nice guy and getting nothing for it but ridicule and isolation..