Developping a friendship with your teacher

[BYOB]

Who initiated a relationship with his/her teacher and sees him/her frequently enough to say that you're friends ? Well, what have you done and what degree were you at ?

Do you think it is nonsense to ask a teacher to be friends (by inviting him/her to some activities) ? I never read/heard about people that did so and how it happened.

Do you think that it is normal for a university student to seek teachers as friends ?

[Weeblie]

At my school it happens, but my school is small and private. The teachers give the class their numbers or email and we contact them for help with projects. Sometimes friendships develop. Oh and it's an advertising school.

 

I think in a larger university, it's probably more difficult for that to happen. And it probably doesn't look good either.

 

What's your reasons for wanting to make friends with your teacher?

[Liaka]

I know at my university (which was quite large) a professor would get fired for having any sort of personal relationship with their students. I saw it happen once, so I know my school took it seriously. There was always the rule that if the person you were involved with (friendship, romantic relationship) could effect your grade or your university life in any way, shape, or form, it wasn’t allowed. I sort of got away with this because at the time I was going to school I was dating one the network engineers there. Only one person ever brought it up but it wasn’t a big deal, and its not like he could really effect my life there in any sort of way, but I was also friends with many of the techs in every department there... never a professor though. As long as the teacher can’t effect your grade it would probably be just fine. If you are in their class, I wouldn’t recommend it due to the fact that it could be a risk to their job. But find out what the policy is at your school first.

 

Also, I don’t think there is nothing wrong with having a relationship with one of your professors as long as it is solely based on an academic level. Maybe going to a quick lunch to discuss one of the lectures further, or visiting to discuss a few topics more in detail. Other than that it might go against the school’s policy. But check it out to be sure!

[jengh]

I went to a very small highschool and I became friends with 3 of the teachers (by small, I mean my grad. class was 101).... one was in her late 20s, one was in her late 30s and the other my mother's age. The woman in her 20s would have groups of students over for dinner (she's married with children so it's not creepy or anything!!!), go to the mall with a few girls, etc...

The 30-something teacher and I bonded over love of animals. She was the bio teacher. We'd go out to lunch and such. The older woman was more my mentor than anything. She even had me teach her 9th grade english class when i was a senior. We'd go out to lunch, exchange x-mas gifts, etc.

 

As long as it doesn't affect the grading and professional relationship, i see nothing wrong with it.

[applepie]

I don't know about friendship, but my mum married one of her teachers. She did her master's degree a bit later in life (late 20's) and they ended up getting together. There was a system set up in case that happened. Basically, he could still be her teacher, but someone else had to grade her essays and tests. But yes, she got an "A".

 

I don't know what the situation is in the states.

[Honey Pumpkin]

Gotta say, most teachers won't become friends with students because of the climate these days of fears of false accusations (or real accusations!). When I was a PhD student, I became good friends with the professors, but that was more because we were equals on some levels in terms of teaching.

 

My male friends who are still academics and young won't ever socialise with students; potentially too difficult.

 

I think most people are wary these days about being friends with their students - and a lot of guidelines are against this. Why do you ask?

[EvaGina]

I was friends with my Lecturer at uni a few years back... we went out for coffee and drinks and things, watched movies at one of his friends houses...

 

But it kinda ended up bad

 

If there is NO romantic motivation behind it, I say go for it... but be honest with yourself, its not worth leaving uni for, is it?

[RelaxByWater84]

At my school students and profs. are friends, however, I go to a Christian school and it's more of a family atmosphere. I am friends with one of my profs, she and I like the more darkish type of literature, she was my english prof. She and I would read the same books and discuss them after class. It really helped in one of my later english classes. We aren't close friends, however, we just share a love of books.

[Locke2121]

I see nothing wrong with being the friend of a teacher, provided the two of then could stand up to any aligations of bias concerning schoolwork and of course the ever-present spectre of romantic entanglements.