online dating abuse

[longhaircats]

Have anyone experienced receiving abusive email from someone you met online?

 

This just happened to me after I rejected a guy and I am scared that this guy might use my personal information (first name, email, and my job) for something bad. What to do? This really scared xxxx out of me!! Just wanted to know if anyone experience a simlar thing. For those who are doing online dating, please do not share your information with a stranger too quick!!

 

So here is what happened. I posted an ad on a craigslist and he answered. We exchanged few emails and our pictures, but I didn't write back to him immidiatery after he sent me his picture because 1) he wasn't my type, 2) I met someone else I like offline. Then the same day he sent me his picture, he sent me another email asking if his picture scared me away. I didn't want to be rude to him, so I wrote back to let him know that his picture did not scare me but I met someone else and wished him good luck for his search.

 

Then he called me a liar and gave me some other insults. I should have left this loser alone (my mistakes!) but I wrote him an email explaning that it was true that I met someone, and it was his desperation and lack of confidence that drove me away since he didn't even give me a day to respond . I also asked him not to contact me anymore. Then this guy turned into a monster. Here is his email.

 

Mean things?....how on Earth did you interpret anything I said as mean?

 

Actually, I think I remember you now.....you did this to me before........you lied to me, strung me along, refused to answer my emails, I even emailed you my phone number! When I called you on it, THAT was when you got abusive.

 

Lack of confidence? I'm confident enough in myself to know that I'm better off without a liar such as yourself in my life!

 

Firstly, I wasn't mean to you. I just told you the facts, you chose to get offended by things that I said because they just happened to be the truth.

 

Secondly, you'd met someone else but you still thought it was ok to email ME? What happened to your "Cultural Differences" and priciples of "Not dating multiple people" then?

 

You're a liar, and you seem to have a habit of doing this to a lot of people.

 

And as for "Desperation"....please do not flatter yourself! I can and HAVE done MUCH better in terms of a relationship. Your so-called "Respect" for me extended to the point to where you decided that it was ok to chat to me, AND embark on another relationship with someone else.

 

As for "Freaking out".....hahaa.....I laughed at that one! Are you THAT paranoid and over-sensitive?

 

Ever thought of becoming a comediene?

 

Don't worry, I will not contact you any more - I have better things to do with my time, and better people to speak to. If being with someone as dishonest, disrespectful, and mentally mixed-up is the only option I have, I'd rather stay single.

 

So, would respectfully suggest and request that you do NOT email me again or contact me in any way, but owing to the fact that you are most likely mentally deranged, I'm sure you will answer this email with something equally insulting.

 

Oh, and if you can drop dead too....that would also be nice

 

I'm sure that even though I've just told you NOT to contact me, you will send me a nasty email in return. You're too stupid to realise when you should just shut your mouth, and move on.

 

Idiot.

XXXhis name

[HealingHandsWarmHeart]

holy psycho! I dont think he would do anything..he just sounds REAALLLY frustrated with the dating scene..lol

 

i definitely wouldn't email him again... or contact him in anyway.

 

I'm not sure what information of yours he has .... so i have no idea if he could do anything to you ..other then send you more crazy emails?

[in_the_mirror]

i'm sorry but from what you said this guy is freaking hilarious....its called ego, and he thinks he has one so he is gonna say whatever he can to make sure that it isn't damaged. i've had people do this to me in real life, but we would email at the time. just let him think what he wants, don't answer because that wouldjust feed his ego complex even more. if he continues with another letter i would take it to the police and ask about harassment and if they could do anything. that is how i got a restraining order on one of my ex's....this made me laugh i appologize because he is just sayig ridiculous things, and i repeat don't respond to him, just go on, no use in trying to talk to someone who thinks they know everything.

[Siriana]

"Then he called me a lier and gave me some other insults. I should have left this loser alone (my mistakes!) but I wrote him an email explaning that it was true that I met someone, and it was his desperation and lack of confidence that drove me away since he didn't even give me a day to respond . I also asked him not to contact me anymore. Then this guy turned into a monster. Here is his email."

 

Next time don't do that, you never know who you're dealing with.

Avoid conflict at all costs.

 

The ending of his email was awfull and I suggest you not to answer him.

Also I think he is not going to make you problems in RL but avoid contacting him ever again.

[longhaircats]

Thank you for your suggestion. I will not contact him. I just blocked his email. Also reported abuse email to the craiglist (they are supporsed to give me an advise if abuse continues).

[Parsley]

I haven't experienced anything quite as bad as you have! I have had someone turn nasty when I rejected them though. I'd been unceremoniously dumped via email the week before, and so really not wanting to even have to consider that other people exist. Some guy who went to the same school as me, but a couple of years above started talking to me on myspace, and asked me out. I said no, and he asked if it was just that I thought he was unattractive. I said it wasn't that, that I'd just gotten out of a relationship and didn't want anything at all. He decided that I was being immature for thinking that way "You can tell you're only just 18, you really can, all it is is a bit of fun, it's not like I'm asking you to be my girlfriend" I said I didn't want anything, not even a bit of fun, and I was just going with what my instincts told me. Then he said "If you think that way then you obviously need professional help - I pity you".

 

I just left the conversation. A week ago he starts talking to me again as if nothing happened.

 

I think a lot of what this (both your experience and mine) is ego. Nobody likes to knocked back, and some people, no matter how nicely you try and put it, will always take it badly and try and convince themselves that you were a horrible person anyway, why should they want anything to do with you? Ignore them, and don't let him make you doubt yourself. You did this the right way!

[Orlander]

OMG, there are a lot of psychos out there!! Consider yourself lucky you didnt go out with him.

 

 

Orlander

[Kevin T]

One more reason for me to object to online dating.

[Batya33]

When I did on line dating I never gave my last name or job details until we decided to meet in person and even then it depended. I had a special email address that did not reveal my last name.

 

I wouldn't worry though about this person.

 

I did receive several abusive/harassing emails which I blocked.

[longhaircats]

I have received emails with sexual contents before and I blocked them, but this is by far the worst one.

 

Parsley, sorry you had a bad experience too. You are right about ego. syrix, I leaned a lesson I will avoid conflict at any costs in the future.

 

I'm sure there are great people online, but I'm paranoid. No more online dating for me!

[jengh]

omg...that is so creepy...what a desperate loser.

[BellaDonna]

Block him from your e-mail.

 

He definitely has major mental health issues.

 

If he's sick enough to call or to do anything at your job, contact the police.

 

I feel bad for the next person that has to deal with him...

 

 

BellaDonna

[DizzyDoris]

Its almost as if he's daring you to reply by saying those things to you. DONT do it though, no matter how riled up he made you. If you ignore him and rise above it he'll be more miffed than if you replied!

 

I've only ever had one nasty experience with a guy online and it really upset me. He was too pushy, kept badgering me to meet up, which put me off. If i was going to meet anyone, it would be when i felt ready, not because i'd been pressured into it.

 

Anyway one day i took about 5 mins to answer him on msn, he flipped out and said i was wasting his time and he wasnt going to be second best to anyone! I wished him luck, and said take care etc. Then the nasty emails started coming. He was aggressive and swore at me a lot. I blocked him & deleted him on msn and blocked him on the site i originally "met" him. Then the fruitloop set up another profile on there and started sending me nasty messages under another name!

 

Dont give out too much information online but dont let losers like this put you off dating. The opinion of someone you have never met and dont even know, isn't worth worrying about, good luck to the poor girl who gives him her email address next!

[longhaircats]

Anyway one day i took about 5 mins to answer him on msn, he flipped out and said i was wasting his time and he wasnt going to be second best to anyone! I wished him luck, and said take care etc. Then the nasty emails started coming. He was aggressive and swore at me a lot. I blocked him & deleted him on msn and blocked him on the site i originally "met" him. Then the fruitloop set up another profile on there and started sending me nasty messages under another name!

 

Jeez, that's pretty bad too. How did you deal with him? Did you block him again?

[Batya33]

That happened to me too. I just kept blocking him until it stopped. Responding usually makes it continue.

 

Longhaircats- of course you don't need to do online dating but IMHO given the number of people I know- including myself - who have met lovely quality people on line - and several of my friends got married as a result - you are a little foolish to cut it off so quickly just because of a few jerks. You can meet jerks in bars too who will then send you silly or even scary emails.

[aymee_lee]

Don't worry, it doesn't sound like he's going to contact you out of email. I think he's cracked it and he's probably not going to email again. You've blocked him and contacted Craglist. I think it'll be fine.

 

Try not to let it worry you and good luck with your RL guy!

[longhaircats]

aymee_lee, thanks for your wish

 

Batya33, I know there are a lot of jerks at bars/clubs and I've met those, but usually I am with my friends in a public place so that the chances of being harassed are less. I tried link removed for 2 days and one guy sent me email 3 times since I didn't reply and he said something nasty to me in his last email. I think we need to develope a thick skin to be able to deal with people like this, but I just don't think I can put up with it anymore.....

[charley]

One more reason for me to object to online dating.

 

My sentiments exactly. I want to lay my eyeballs on a woman and allow my ears and brain to study her a bit before I decide if I even want to approach her. I can do that locally. Online, you can't believe anything you hear. Locally, I can form some opinions based on real life observations. That's all before I'm even going to say "Hi" or talk to her at all.

 

Also, I want her to see me and let her make up her mind if my looks are good enough BEFORE I get attached to her emotionally. If she doesn't like my looks, I'm fine with that BEFORE I know her or care. If I don't like her looks, well then, I don't have to approach at all.

 

Online, it's easy to get all emotionally attached to each other first, and then later find that I'm not physically attracted to her, or she's not physically attracted to me. Then one of us is going to feel really hurt. It might be me that gets hurt. Might be her, and I'd feel bad.

 

So locally, all issues related to looks and physical attraction are already out of the way BEFORE anyone gets emotionally attached.

 

I will succeed or not, locally. Online is not for me, ever again, except for friends. Online friends can be great.

[Luke Skywalker]

He just had an axe to grind and gave you a piece of your mind based on all the negative experiences he had with women in the past and took it out on you. I would hardly see why you would take a letter like that seriously as he was just obviously venting and that would be his last letter anyway. He knows he's lost so he just threw in a wrench.

[DizzyDoris]

Jeez, that's pretty bad too. How did you deal with him? Did you block him again?

 

Yeah i blocked him again. The site i was on had this rating thingy so on both of his profiles i rated him all the bad things (a psycho, a nutter, slime, , redneck) Petty i know, but after the nasty things he said to me, it made me feel a bit better!

 

On my msn i blocked and deleted him but he still kept on with the emails so i put him into junk mail. I just ignored him and didnt read them, then after a couple of weeks of no response, he must of got bored and they stopped

 

I think luke skywalkers post sums it up pretty well, i'd have to agree there. That seems to hit the nail on the head.