I thought we'd grow old together

[ladydi3]

Just visited this site and am amazed at how many people share their stories! Mine is also a sad one.... My boyfriend of 4 years and I just broke up. He came into my life at a time I was just getting over my second long term relationship (cheater #2). He came in like a knight in shining armor, said everything to get me to trust him. To make a long story short, he had bariatric surgery, lost 140 pounds and has now moved on due to my trust issues (so he says). Come to find out, he has been in touch with an old "friend" and they have started a relationship. His side of my bed isn't even cold yet. To have this guy do this after he knew what lying and cheating did to me in the past is the most devastating thing to happen. I can barely get through each day. He has a 5 year old son who is like my own so I still must have some contact with him because I still want to see the little guy. He honestly thinks he did nothing wrong!!! I found out that he had been hanging out with her now if it was so innocent why didn't he tell me? Why do guys (no matter how old, he's 50!!) think that it's ok to go from one relationship to another before the old one is even over!!!!!!!!

[gfein347]

Hi and welcome to ENA!

 

I'm so sorry that such unfortunate circumstances brought you here. You'll find a lot of people here who can help you through this and offer great words of support.

 

Why do guys (no matter how old, he's 50!!) think that it's ok to go from one relationship to another before the old one is even over!!!!!!!!

 

As far as this part of it goes, I think you'll find that both men and women do this. You certainly deserve better, though.

 

In regards to getting through each day, lots of people here will probably agree with me when I say that this is a great time to focus on you, and surround yourself with family, friends, and fun things that enjoy doing.

 

Best of luck to you. *Hugs*

[BeStrongBeHappy]

I don't think it is all guys, but i think some guys are just not trustworthy... he may also have let his recent weight loss go to his head, feeling his oats and maybe going back to people who have rejected him in the past due to weight issue to 'prove' to himself he is sexy and worthwhile... really sad that he has to turn away from someone who has been loyal to him no matter what to stroke his own ego, but he may really regret his choices later...

 

but the fact that he is willing to try to blame YOU for his own desire to date someone else really is cowardly of him and would make me think he is no great loss, better off gone... not being honest with you, and maybe he started up with this woman BEFORE he broke up with you, and is just taking the easy way out because most people know how enraged partners get when they discover a partner has been unfaithful...

 

and to be honest, it sounds like he was really thinking of himself and NOT worrying about your history or effect of his behavior on you... most people who do the dumping are just looking for a quick way out... not nice, not right, but all too common...

 

i am so sorry to hear about your attachment to his son and the confusion this must cause the child... i hope he is a decent enough guy to let you unravel your life from his son's in a way that doesn't affect his son too badly, but please don't let that affect your own healing either... there may come a time when he won't let you see his son at all if he gets seriously involved with another woman, so please try to proceed with your own healing, and recognize that maybe you need to be easing yourself out of his son's life too, since that might be a foregone conclusion since you have no legal rights to visitation there...

[AwdreeHpburn]

Hey Ladydi3 - Welcome to ENA!!

 

Glad you found us!

 

Say - I don't know how long healing will take for you or if you'll get any of the answers you need, but it will take EONS (thanks G) longer if you stay in touch with your ex.

 

I hope you'll stay around here and keep posting. I'll think you'll find some great advice about No Contact, how to get over certain aspects of your break up etc....

 

Hang in there!! - Here....

[Dako]

From your post, I'm sure you need to cut ties with this guy to hasten healing. His son will miss you, but it's not your fault this cheater brought you this low.

 

I'm really sorry you're in this situation, but I can say this forum can help you as your heal from it. Please feel free to post here for help.

Many of us do understand and want to help.

[ladydi3]

thank you to all of your for your kind words and advice. I did speak with him the other night for over an hour and he actually cried saying that he missed me and thinks of me all of the time. I am not sure if that is to ease his guilt or if it is heartfelt. I am trying to forgive him so that I can move on but it's not easy. I still think about all of our wonderful times together and not so much what he did in the end. I do appreciate all the advice, I know that I eventually I have to let it go and not see his son any longer but for right now I need to even if it's worse for me. I need to give him a hug and see how he is doing.