CoCo2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Officially two weeks since he left me and never talked to me again! It hurts so bad! I feel like my body is screaming on the inside it hurts so bad! Link to comment
longdist Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 ym ex didnt contact me at all after he broke up with me, until i wrote to him. i had to initiate everything. when we broke up he didnt even give me the "i still want to be your friend" speech. although after we talked it through he said he wanted to be my friend. I later told him that at this point i loved him to much to be his friend. I'm glad I'm not the only one. I wish my ex gave me the I want to be your friend speech. It would show that she at least missed talking to me (which we did for an hour every day prior to this). I realize that she was probably just trying to respect me and didn't want to lead me on. It would have felt better to at least get a little emotion from her end, even though I don't want her to hurt. It just seems like I was easily callously thrown away after 4-1/2 years. Link to comment
Ixtapa Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Officially two weeks since he left me and never talked to me again! It hurts so bad! I feel like my body is screaming on the inside it hurts so bad! It does get better with time..... I still think of my ex a lot and long for him and hope that he will contact me again, but it doesnt HURT anymore, and that is such a relief ! Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Day 13 I'm just fed up with this now. Link to comment
_ash_ Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'm glad I'm not the only one. I wish my ex gave me the I want to be your friend speech. It would show that she at least missed talking to me (which we did for an hour every day prior to this). I realize that she was probably just trying to respect me and didn't want to lead me on. It would have felt better to at least get a little emotion from her end, even though I don't want her to hurt. It just seems like I was easily callously thrown away after 4-1/2 years. yea i know how you feel my ex broke up with me with absolutely no emotion. that hurt more than the actual break up. i found out he cried the whole way home. i wish he would have showed that emotion to me instead of hiding it. im sure your ex was upset also. Link to comment
philove Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Day 13 I'm just fed up with this now. It will get better buddy. I felt like s**t around the same time but this week I have come such a long way. You just gotta ride it out, easier said than done I know! Link to comment
CoCo2009 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I wish he would call, how could he not look back at all? Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 It will get better buddy. I felt like s**t around the same time but this week I have come such a long way. You just gotta ride it out, easier said than done I know! Yeah I know, irrationality seems to be commonplace when I'm on a downer I still feel like I'm doing this for the wrong reasons, like its a game to see who'll crack under pressure of NC first. I think I've almost completely accepted there's no chance at reconciliation, but I still want to talk to her, find out how she's doing. I still love the girl and care about her a lot. Got a busy weekend though, going to a comedy club tomorrow night so that should keep my mind from wandering! Link to comment
lauramed Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I wish my ex would stop calling. Tired of the rollercoaster ride. I want to be done and over and move on with my life because I'm finished with being sad and hurt. Just plain tired of the games and bs. Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Yeah I know, irrationality seems to be commonplace when I'm on a downer I still feel like I'm doing this for the wrong reasons, like its a game to see who'll crack under pressure of NC first. I think I've almost completely accepted there's no chance at reconciliation, but I still want to talk to her, find out how she's doing. I still love the girl and care about her a lot. Got a busy weekend though, going to a comedy club tomorrow night so that should keep my mind from wandering! Glad to hear it, anything out of your day-day norm helps out Link to comment
brazilgirl21 Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I'm SO fed up with NC, this person was my best friend I hate that we can't even talk about our lives anymore... I'm seriously considering breaking it next week. Not to talk about how much I'm still crazy about him, but just to tell him that I miss being his friend and asking for his advices. I'm going to try LC I think. Link to comment
philove Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Day - 28 I have been analysing myself and this is a list I came up with: Everytime I see a Mini Cooper I have to look away. Everytime I hear or see the name Charlotte I cringe. Everytime I drive past a place where we dated or stayed I get a pain in the pit of stomach. I can't listen to Bloc Party anymore without wanting to turn it off. Just mentioning Australia or Florida makes me feel sick. I hate it when other couples call each other 'baby'. I hate the fact I have so many shared memories and moments with her that I can't forget. Apart from that i'm doing fine! Edit: A couple more I hate the fact everytime my phone rings or I get a text message I expect it and secretly wish it to be my ex. I also hate the way I constantly check my email at work hoping my ex would email me. Damn it's so hard... Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 philove, I know just how irritating those innocent little reminders are. My friend has the same name as my ex, I recoil anytime he or I say that name. Actually I seem to share my own versions of all the items on your list, everything except the Australia/Florida bit. Link to comment
philove Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 philove, I know just how irritating those innocent little reminders are. My friend has the same name as my ex, I recoil anytime he or I say that name. Actually I seem to share my own versions of all the items on your list, everything except the Australia/Florida bit. It really is horrible, I am getting slightly better but I don't think I will be properly healed until all these reminders and feelings disappear. Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Broke NC again. Wanted to test the waters so I sent her a text containing a bit of info about a movie she'd be interested in. No reply as of yet, not really expecting one though We are both stubborn people and since I ignored her last two attempts at communication, I expect the same in return. Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I am a big music nerd, I love listening to music, problem is I listened to so much of my personal cds with her I cant even listen to the songs I love without being reminded of our times Link to comment
philove Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I am a big music nerd, I love listening to music, problem is I listened to so much of my personal cds with her I cant even listen to the songs I love without being reminded of our times I'm the same, there are certain cds I can't touch without thinking about her Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I am a big music nerd, I love listening to music, problem is I listened to so much of my personal cds with her I cant even listen to the songs I love without being reminded of our times Fortunately my ex was never a fan of progressive/experimental/metal, so I've been able to listen to a lot of that recently without it reminding me too much. It'll be a long time before I can listen to any of the stuff we both liked/went to gigs together etc Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Fortunately my ex was never a fan of progressive/experimental/metal, so I've been able to listen to a lot of that recently without it reminding me too much. It'll be a long time before I can listen to any of the stuff we both liked/went to gigs together etc Lol so the dream theatre and between the buried and me didn't float her boat. Im just playin' friend Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 The really gut-wrenching ones are not the songs that remind you of them but more specifically the fond particular memory or moment in which it was significant. Vacation, intimacy or even just a romantic drive and it was playing on your radio, its almost subconscious how it enhanced the time, now it is somethin you try to avoid listening to Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 I am a big music nerd, I love listening to music, problem is I listened to so much of my personal cds with her I cant even listen to the songs I love without being reminded of our times I'm the same too and I hate it, it's like she's 'stolen' some of my favourite bands as I can't listen to them anymore without feeling pain. I can't even wear certain band t-shirts anymore. Music is my life and I love its healing properties, but I hate its power to remind you sometimes too. The only good thing this effect is having on me is that it's making me seek out new music so I can claim it as 'mine' and not have to associate it with someone else! Philove > My list of things is similar to yours too: - I can't hear the name Sarah without feeling a twist in my heart. - As mentioned above, certain bands and songs I can't bear to listen to anymore. - I'm terrified of going into the city on a Saturday to shop in case I bump into her and her new boyfriend. I even fear going to the local shop or pub as she only lives a few streets away. - Certain smells occasionally surprise me and remind me of her - Every time I go past the club I used to DJ at, I can't even LOOK at it as it's where she met her new boyfriend, on MY f*cking clubnight! The clubnight that I started with two of my friends, that I can't even do anymore because she always goes to it and I can't handle seeing them together. - I can't go to certain pubs either and have to ask one of my friends to text my ex (under another pretense) to see if she's going out that night, so I can go out and relax without worrying about if I'll see her. Jesus, it's like she's stolen my life! - Every time I wait for my lift in the morning, I think she's going to drive by and see me. - I still sometimes catch myself thinking that she's texted me when my phone goes off. Usually it's my parents, bless them! - I cannot for the life of me stop thinking about all the great sex she's having with him. It's been almost 50 days (two months) NC. I check my watch constantly and think about what we used to do at that particular time, thinking "Oh, about this time they'll be doing this, and this, and this..." Time for a relaxing smoke and a bath Link to comment
LemonCheesecak Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Lol so the dream theatre and between the buried and me didn't float her boat. Im just playin' friend Indeed they did not, and stuff like that makes up about 90% of my library so I'm covered in that aspect. But like you said its the songs/bands I have memories with her that I cannot listen to now without it hitting home, a lot of indie/electronic type bands that we got into together and saw together. Too painful to listen to right now. So, ironically, its the melancholic post-metal and stuff I'm listening to to cheer me up :S And BrokenheartUK that really is harsh that she met him on your clubnight. Its really insensitive of her to come to it knowing you'd be there, and still goes. But that's just my opinion. I know if I were you, I'd be SUPER p***ed off. Link to comment
FriendnorFoe Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 Sex with her new man is my biggest fear too. It is so horrible to think about that I have almost blocked it out completely, when I first started to think about it I started sweating at work and even thought I was going to pass out out. That by far is the worse thought I could imagine up. You know I dont mean to be perverted or wanna gross any one out by this but Lately I dont even feel aroused or horny anymore. From time to time I will masterbate before bed because it used to sometimes help me sleep, but when I find myself doing that now it provokes sexual fantasies or sexual nightmares about my ex and I always wake up disapointed that it wasnt real or relieved that it wasnt real depending on if it was good or bad. But in the end it is all bad cause it just brings her up in my mind again. Link to comment
BrokenheartUK Posted March 20, 2009 Share Posted March 20, 2009 And BrokenheartUK that really is harsh that she met him on your clubnight. Its really insensitive of her to come to it knowing you'd be there, and still goes. But that's just my opinion. I know if I were you, I'd be SUPER p***ed off. I do feel angry and upset as I really miss DJ-ing there, it was something I used to look forward to every month and it made me quite a bit of money too. But unfortunately the pain of seeing her there having fun with her new boyfriend far outweighs the financial loss and thinking about how awful I would feel, trapped there seeing them together for 6 hours, simply doesn't make it worth it. It's a tiny club (two small basement rooms) and they would be in my face all night. Another fallout of this is that I can't listen to the music I used to play there anymore (which I used to love) as the whole genre reminds me of when we were together. The club itself does too, she used to come and watch me play and be there all night with me and her friends. I just figure I have no right to tell her where she can and can't go anymore, so the best thing for everyone is if I just stay away. Link to comment
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