THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[JeckyllNHyde]

day 6 of NC...

 

been a mix of staying home b/c i want to be alone, sleeping and watching tv...

joining the gym soon so i stop sitting around and accomplishing nothing (we have summer vacation, and i just got fired from my part-time job, so it's kind of tough find a routine to keep busy).

 

although at night i sometimes go out with my friends to the cinema or just driving around and hanging out.

the first few days i kept thinking back to when we used to go out and missed his company and the feelings i got when i was around him terribly... i still do and in th back of my mind i hope he will call in just to talk like he used to(*,)

 

ohh well... i'm just giving him his space since he asked for it even though i miss him alot and am soo not loving this.

[Iarra]

This is one heck of a roller coaster ride. The past few days were just bad. I couldn't get him out of my mind. I've already planned a lot of things that I could do, but I didn't have the motivation to do anything. I think it's because the first week after the breakup, I immediately had to go on a trip, so I held it in. The week after that, I had family over at my place, so I had to hold it in again. Last week, I just started to let my guard down. I was ok the first few days, but it just really hit me this week. I was depressed, then mad. I had those "Why did he do this??" moments. I already know the answer, and I know it's for the best. But it doesn't make it easier.

 

I've started looking into the things that I wanted to do, and little by little, I started looking forward to them. The key really is to keep yourself busy, and focus on what makes you happy. I'm feeling better now, but I think I need more than 30 days of NC

[S.Ken]

Day: I have no idea.

 

It's been awhile since I've been on here since I've really haven't had a reason to do so. Ever since the ex responded to a pre-NC email I sent her, all of my thoughts of wanting her back have vanished since the way she answered the email pretty much summed up the reasons why she's my ex.

 

I'm not saying I don't think about her, I think it would be impossible to do so with someone whom I've dated for 2 years, but they are just regular thoughts, unemcumbered by the usual gut twisting pain and anxiety that accompanied them only a few months ago and they aren't CONSTANT or draining either.

 

I haven't even attempted to make contact with her and couldn't if I wanted to since I've forgotten her cell number and email address long ago.

 

 

Anyway, just wanted to pop in and encourage everyone with their NC... it really does help you in the long run.

 

Hmmm... looking at my post, it probably didn't help any of you who want to get back together with the ex, but hopefully you'll somehow be encouraged!

 

 

[JeckyllNHyde]

day 8 of NC.. need to vent.. have got huge ure to just contact my ex (but will not).

 

went out with a guy today who i used to like. was pobably one of the worst nights ever (when i have gone out to "get back out there")which just makes me realise how badly i just want to be back with my ex and just be hanging out with him... *SIGH*

 

went out yesterday day too with another guy friend (just hanging out) and it was fun. but today was just crap.

the guy "friend" i went out with today just did everything he wanted to do but occasionaly would bother with me. he decided we were gona go pick his friends with my car, etc.. they spilled beer in it (its my dads car actually).

man... never again am i doing that. we almost crashed the car to, sorry correction: HE almost crashed the car into a wall by pulling a REALLY stupid "stunt".

and after that i started thinking of an easy excuse to just cut the night short.

i am just SO happy to just be home in one piece and AWAY from him and and my crazy night.

 

lesson learned: going out on dates is fun and can help get your mind OFF the ex, but not if they ain't your type. (so don't just go along with the first guy who asks you out to go thru the motions like i did). it will just rub in some more how much fun your ex was and make you long for him more.

[asdfg123]

Hey...okay im FINALLY going to try no contact AGAIN..but this time for real...I had to have my cousin change my password to msn...of course just temporarily...until I feel I can go on and not chat w my ex! It is just too tempting when he is on and im on while we are at work....and also I can not just ignore him if he writes me....so i had to get extra help so im not tempted to go on etc. Its been really hard for me...cutting off contact. Its an addiction...hee hee. I think its also boredom...like if i get bored at work etc. I am the one who keeps having to be strong in this whole thing. I even had to break up w my ex bc he was not strong enough to do it! I knew he wanted to break up bc he was being distant and we were fighting a lot (okay that was my fault being so needy etc...but bc he was being distant) anyways so i had to break up w him and then later i had to tell him at least 3 times i dont want to be friends until he finally got it...kind of bc he sent a lamo email (but he stopped calling and texting) and now the last straw...I have to just cut him out for good Breaking up sucks...its like if they want to be friends its not fair bc then u have to be strong and cut them off...its kind to be cruel...so those of u who have ex's who just stop talking to u...even thought it hurts...its a blessing...bc it hurts even more when you are the one who has to FORCE urself to cut them off and not respond to them etc...and it is even more sucky when u know they are out having fun w friends and not feeling sad AT ALL

[Muzatsu]

Day 25

 

I still feel very angry for some reason.

[Coyote9]

Day 3 after breaking over 100 days and leaving my ex a message (and receiving her text in return) regarding the death of her brother. I am struggling today knowing that I'm not needed or part of her family anymore in anyway as they had the memorial service later today. It hurts to be irrelevant to the situation but that's the way it is and I need to get back to taking care of myself again rather than worrying about her or thinking about how I'm not needed.

[trying hard to understand]

Day 14

 

I haven't spoken, texted or written my ex since he broke up with me and I drove out of his drive way. I still can't get a full meal down. Made myself go out and be social last weekend and bombed completely. A friend of a friend was interested in meeting me and I just couldn't mustered up the thank you when he would give me a compliment. This weekend I went to the beach and still couldn't get my mind off of him. I just want to call him sooooooooooooo bad. Almost did it a second ago. Had the number pulled up from call history (forgot it delete that part on my cell phone) but got a call on the other line. Still there is a part of me that thinks if I just called him and talked this out, it would all be okay. How can the end of a relationship and love send one person to the depths of depression and the other unaffected? He walked out on me for no reason other than he was questioning our connection and needed time. I just want him back. NOW! And, I know how studip that sounds.

[Bryon]

Day 13 of NC. She broke it off almost two months ago. Though I did make the mistake of calling her. but I felt obliged because she called me time to time after we split. I miss her dearly. If only I can turn back the clock just a few months.

[CrapAtNC]

OK, I've been trying to do NC for such a long time, but as my username implies, I'm not very good at it.

 

Inspired by my ex's friend to try dating my ex again and build from there, we went out for a short trip yesterday, and it was nice - and in fact great fun. But I feel it is actually a big step back from where we were just a couple of weeks ago. She still has feelings for me, as she has refused to see me alone until I stop dating another woman, but I get nothing more from her about us.

 

I've realised that NC is essential. There's no point trying to build something from so low down. The truth is that I would have to be doing all the work to make the relationship successful, even as friends. So, I'm promising you all to give NC my very best go this time.

 

I just sent her a message on MSN because I have to give her something, and she ignored me (she wasn't busy, as she logged on to Facebook shortly after). I realised that I don't want stupid games. I want an honest relationship. The way to do that is to go NC , to either (a) make her put some effort into making any kind of relationship between us work, or (b) move on to the kind of relationship I deserve.

 

I'm already working out and looking and feeling better than I have in a long time. I'm already dating other women and really enjoying it. I've changed my look, increased my confidence, learnt how to salsa, and basically becoming the kind of person I should have been a while ago.

 

So, today is Day 1, and intend to keep the counter rolling all the way to 30. Don't wish me luck; I don't need it. I'm doing this to put all the water under the bridge so I can start again for myself.

 

Cheers!

[Muzatsu]

day 26,

 

Still think immensely of him. Trying to pretend that we will never get back together in order to prepare myself mentally for what may be the worst.

[jimbobdaley]

Hello all,

 

I am taking up the NC challenge....

 

Just arrived home to find she has taken the bed. I have nothing to sleep on!!

 

There is the lounge...

 

She will be at home tomorrow to get more stuff, but after that she will have no reason to contact me.

 

But I'm starting NOW

 

5:40PM 30th July 2007....

 

Wish me luck, It's gonna be a long & hard journey.

 

Thanks superdave

 

I never would ever thought in my life i would be at this point right now... not engaging any type of communication to the most beautiful girl in the world. 6 years flashing before my eyes.

 

wow how things change??

 

Sh-t

 

* * * *

[JeckyllNHyde]

day 9 of NC...

 

well, i have to say, today was a crap sunday. boring, did nothing as usual, was just lazy. hate sundays when i have been dumped.

but tonight was nice. i went driving around with my good friend and we just talked. i was able to enjoy myself in his company.

i did however keep wishing my ex would call me today man what a sucky feeling eh? when you expect a call and they just dont... you just feel like calling them to hear their voice or sumthing. nways... on with my NC

 

i am starting the gym tomorrow finally (i hope). so i am basically feeling hopefull again about moving forward in life for ME, and accomplising things when university starts, my goal is to just be the best student i can be. i will be working on more goals to accomplish asap (maybe get a new part-time job and save up more, some more hobbies?).

 

after my "near death experience"/near car crash yesterday i guess i am kinda just happy to be alive and plus i read this really inspirational thread about positive advice etc. everyone should check it out. it applies to pretty much everyone (i think).

[A Kiss Goodbye]

trying hard to understand: I know how you feel as I was dumped too. Its really hard to understand what happened and how someone could love you so much one minute and the next just leave you like that and say they don't love you as much as before. Its really hard and I applaud you for been strong about it and not calling him. Too bad I'm not like that. I have the urge every minute and second of the day and sometimes I can hold myself back but other times I just think what the heck and send him a text or something and realise that its back to square one and all the effort that I have made to maintain NC has been wasted. Its so hard. I don't know how ppl can do that especially the ones that do it for more than a month. feels like im dying...

[StayingPositive]

Day 16 of NC...

 

Hardest Sunday ever because I have come to find out that after a month of my ex and I being apart, that she has been dating someone for about 2 weeks now. Saw her and him walking down the street yesterday around lunch time which only makes me think that she is now sleeping with this random guy. Hurts to know that someone can just move on so quickly from what we had...

[Iarra]

I have 2 more days in this challenge, but I think I'm gonna need more. As of last week, I was still in the roller coaster. My state of mind went through the following:

 

1. Ok : I felt I was ok. Even if he doesn't come back, I'll be ok.

2. Hopeful : Who knows? Maybe one day, he will come back.

3. Dreamy : Wonder how he'll come back? (I think of different scenarios of him saying he's so stupid for letting me go)

4. Back to reality : That was just a dream. Maybe he won't come back.

5. Depression : There's a big chance that he won't come back.

6. Anger : Why doesn't he want to come back??

7. Repeat #1.

 

Yesterday, I checked out this gym near my place. It was good. After my workout, I was feeling a rush of endorphins, and I was actually happy. And then it dawned on me. My ex has been doing a lot of physical activity lately. No wonder he doesn't miss me.

[reiny]

Day 71 of NC (never spoke to her ever since she left me). I can't say that I'm feeling any better at all but I guess that if I remained in contact I would probably be feeling much worse today. Anxiety is kicking in big time and I had to see a doctor today to get some relief from my massive tension headaches. I've been given mild anti-depressents. Hope they start working within a few days.

 

I'm still hoping against hope that she'll initiate contact herself even if it's just to say hello. I just can't find any suitable reason to contact her myself. I'm just scared that I'll be rejected further.

[randyrogersfan]

I'm starting NC as of right now.....3:19pm on Monday, July 30th. Here we go, oh dear lord please help me. I'm gonna need it! Should I block him from my myspace and facebook so he can't contact me?

[Coyote9]

Day 4...and I wrote more posts today than any day in the nearly 2 months I've been on ENA...really struggling but determined to get through this rough spot in which I broke NC and had indirect contact with her....yuck.

[Muzatsu]

day 27

 

Started some more physical activity to get some endorphins going. Still resolute about not calling ex. Trying to cement in the fact that it may never be.

[asiu]

ok. here i go. day 1. and planning to do lots of exercise in the next month !!! wooo

[beyonce-venice]

Dave, if I don't contact my ex for a month or kinda-could it be that, instead of attracting him back, I push him further away? please, explain me this 'cuz I don't get this no contact stuff. How can you remind to someone how wonderful you are if you just disappear??

[jimbobdaley]

nearly been 24 hours. But she left me a note asking about some of her things

[reiny]

Beyond-venice, as everybody tells you on this forum, NC isn't meant to get your ex back. It's meant to get yourself back. I haven't managed to get myself back however I'm positive that if I remained in contact I would definitely be feeling worse by now. Right now all I have is thoughts (what is she doing? is she over me? is she with someone else? etc etc etc) but at least by not communicating at all she has done nothing to hurt me directly.

[bubblyblonde11]

19days of no contact, 3weeks 3days since split - am progressing quite nicely, feel alot better, have been keeping busy with friends etc, have been going to gym and having massages etc.

 

His loss - I am an amazing person I am the most caring person he would have ever have met probably the best looking that would go out with him with a great body and fab sense of humour, most importantly alot of love to give out.