beyonce-venice

I have a friend of mine who is commitment phobic. He madly fell in love when he was 16, has been cheated on and now he's engaged from several years-he's now 35, but he is never been able to be faithful to her, not now, neither during all their relationship. How come he is now buying a house with her???? I mean it's just insane. He knows he will cheat on her even after they will go live together, and if they will get married it will be worse. But he can't rebel because he fears the reaction of his girlfriend. He feels responsible for her feelings, and he is scared of her possible anger, hatring and rejection. He doesn't get his feelings depend on him and he should respect himself and his ideas in front of everyone with no fears. He is willing to stay in a relationship and have kids and all that stuff, and I suffer as I see him struggling to live a normal life. He told me all these things and asked me to keep it secret, because he's ashamed of counselling. I would really like to comfort him as a friend. I cannot change him, but perhaps I thought that I could give him an input to seriously rethink about his situation, to make him find his own way. I really wish I could tell him that of course when you take a serious and monogamous relationship you take risks, but if you are with the right one you have no need to feel trapped, because when 2 persons are truly in love, they don't look at each other, they look in the same direction. I mean, he should feel completely free to be himself, with his dark sides, and share everything with his partner, and so should do her, in order to fulfill each other, grow better as persons and enjoy new adventures.So he would not think at her like the one who's holding him by the neck.I want to advice him NOT to go living with her and NOT to marry. BUUUUUUUT- and this is a great but...male mind is a PERVERT mind So I don't know which words to use, how to introduce this talk, and how to say this without making him feel judged, critized or just a shameless jerk. I also read some books,but they just confuse me..for example, catch him and keep him by christian carter or how to talk your way etc etc by cucan pemo. Honestly....seemed kind of crap to me..or maybe it's me, maybe I didn't get the message. What would you do in my shoes? I read a few of your posts, and they're all like -leave him alone- which is right in that situations, but here I have a friend who's asked my help and I want to help him focusing on what he is doing. What do you advice???](*,) huggs to every1 and thank you

Dave, if I don't contact my ex for a month or kinda-could it be that, instead of attracting him back, I push him further away? please, explain me this 'cuz I don't get this no contact stuff. How can you remind to someone how wonderful you are if you just disappear??