THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

[JeckyllNHyde]

well i decided to take this challenge. yesterday was day 1 and today day 2.

day 1 was definatly hard since i kept having these scenarios in my head where he decides to call me cause he "suddlenly misses me" lol. Oh well, but i have been thru this. I definatly hope i get back to that stage where it just gets easier and easier not to think about him and want to go out and be with my friends again.

[JeckyllNHyde]

ok...i dont know if i broke the Nc rule but i signed in online and as soon as i signed in i saw my ex sign out. i wish i never even signed in to msn. now i feel more awfull then ever even though i never begged, pleaded or anything and it wasnt my intention. now i even feel a lil mad that he either blocked me or avoided me for no reason.

[Tshwane]

Day 66 - The last time me and her spoke she called and i blew her off without listening to what she had to say(was too angry and hurt), now i feel like texting to let her know she can talk to me.

 

But, im scared. I lost control both times i broke NC and became a little bit obsessive, plus the was another guy in the picture. I don't know for how long i'll hold on. Im cracking bit by bit.

[bubblyblonde11]

eleven days on total no contact. Over two weeks of no talking.

 

Quite frankly I never want to hear from him again and probably never will. I'd rather find myself a nice new date to enjoy.

 

Smiles

 

xx

[TijuanaJones]

HOPE THIS GIVES HOPE TO EVERYONE HERE

 

Hi there! I haven't posted in a while, it's been over 7 months since my GF broke up with me. My story, in a nutshell: I had been with my 18 yr old GF (i know, i know) for 3 very intense months, all of a sudden she broke up with me, a week later she had another BF, she dumped him after 2 mos., we started going out again, didn't work for me, told her I would really like to put everything behind us and be friends, thus, eliminating any hope of getting back together. After that, I didn't feel like talking to her anymore (I had my closure) we have gone NC for over 2 mos. now. Seems like she found herself another man... someone who used to be my friend...

 

Well, that's only the story of how I got here... but what I wanted to tell you is that no matter how bad your breakup was, no matter how miserable you think you are feeling right now, there will be a day when you will liberate yourself from all that sadness and disappointment.

I found strenght in my friends and family, in all the unconditional love they gave me, I found strenght in me as well. It made me happy to know that a lot of people around me love me and think Im an extraordinary human being.

Im now more confident than ever, having discovered all I have to offer. I have been meeting tons of girls, been on dates with several of them, but not found the right one yet. Recently I tought I found a good one, but then she stood me up this weekend... that's ok, she was not for me... Never accept less than you can offer, it's just not a fair deal.

Sometimes I hate the singles scene, but hey, you got to start somewhere...

Im pretty sure sooner or later I'll find the right girl for me. What doesn't kill me makes me stronger, and now I'm stronger than ever.

 

I would like to send a big THANK YOU to all the girls who have played with my heart, my feelings, disrespected me, abused me, neglected me and used me, because without them, I wouldn't be as strong or I would have a very hard time knowing who's right for me and who isn't.

 

Live life to the fullest, and I know it's a cliché, but love as if you were never hurt before. I do it, everytime, and I don't regret it. Don't hold back when you find someone who deserves your love... But love yourself first, because you will find the greatest and endless source of love whitin you.

 

Blessings to everyone!

[SuperDave71]

WELCOME BACK TJ!!!!

 

 

and thank you!

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[CandyApple]

Hello, I am new. It's Day 7 of NC for me (but we technically broke up 4 weeks ago), I decided to do this a week ago and now realize I need some support.

 

Here's my story: We have been dating two years (living together for one); we are in our late 20s. Our situation is unique because of his job. It requires him to travel overseas for 6-8 weeks at a time, then be home for 4-6 weeks. It sounds tough, but the system worked for us and I was incredibly supportive of his career. We were both very happy. We never fought, maybe an occasional bicker, but always affectionate, always respectful of one another.

 

We were planning to move accross the country together next month for the sake of both of our careers and because we both had a strong interest in moving to this other city. So this became a catalyst for the breakup (while he does say that it would have happened anyway). I simply came home one night from work and he had packed his bags. He was extremely sad and in pain himself, but said he didn't see us getting married in the long-run so he didn't want us to move away together and we had to split up. I am his first long-term girlfriend so part of me wonders if he simply has cold feet and wonders what else is out there?

 

He left for one of his 6-8 week trips two weeks ago, so in one sense it's easier, as I know I won't run into him and it's virtually impossible to call with the time difference. However, we're both accustomed to emailing/IM-ing everyday and that's what I stopped doing seven days ago.

 

I've been in so much pain I can barely see straight. I've also been thinking that I still want to move accross the country to this new city and am 80% sure that I'll be doing so. I don't want to let him know this, because it's likely he's making the same decision and I don't want either of us to influence the other's decision.

 

I miss him terribly each day, have bad dreams and want to share so much that has happened in the last week or so. So here I am, Day 7.

[Coyote9]

Day 113 I think. Been having dreams about her more and again have trouble sleeping. I think in large part, this set back has been caused by other stressors in my life that make me miss her but loathe her at the same time.

 

Regarding those stressors, I saw another specialist today on the irregular heart beat of mine. They have scheduled a procedure known as an ablation in which they will put a cathator up through the groin and into the heart and literally burn the offending nodes/veins whatever they are to keep the heart from going into the atrial fibrilation (off) rhythm.

 

Hopefully a permanent fix but there's some risk of things like stroke and burning other things in the heart that aren't meant to be burned...so it's a bit scary. I also found out today that, the same week that I'm having my deal done by dad is having a kidney removed for renal cancer treatment.

 

I of course have been talking to friends and other family members and we have plenty of support, but in the midst of it I started thinking about my ex, how I wish she could be here for me and for my family, how involved she was with my family and how they loved her, and yet the bottom line was...what a shi**y girlfriend she was. When the chips were down, she simply up and left (again and again).

 

I feel quite relieved that she's not at all a part of any of this as she was never really helpful or thoughtful when I had my shoulder surgery in January or even when she heard the news (through friends) that I was having this heart issue back in June. Not even a message of support or whatever from her. I can't imagine dumping someone and not caring about their well being enough to at least say..."sorry you're going through this, chin up."

 

For the first time today I experienced not longing or anger but disgust. Absolute disgust for her and her selfishness and half-hearted efforts at showing me or my family that she cared at all those last 6 months. She told me once how important it is that people saw her as someone they could count on, but she's the last person in the world I could count on. And as far as I'm concerned she's a selfish bit**. Now, when part of me still wants to need her more than ever, I feel disgust and pity and relief that I no longer expect anything from her, as she always let me down.

 

I guess the good news is, I have no pretense anymore about getting back with her or about some warm and fuzzy past that we had together.

 

 

__________________

[Coyote9]

HOPE THIS GIVES HOPE TO EVERYONE HERE

 

 

I would like to send a big THANK YOU to all the girls who have played with my heart, my feelings, disrespected me, abused me, neglected me and used me, because without them, I wouldn't be as strong or I would have a very hard time knowing who's right for me and who isn't.

 

Live life to the fullest, and I know it's a cliché, but love as if you were never hurt before. I do it, everytime, and I don't regret it. Don't hold back when you find someone who deserves your love... But love yourself first, because you will find the greatest and endless source of love whitin you.

 

Blessings to everyone!

 

 

Amen Brother!

[Muzatsu]

day 19 (sort of)

 

Gave him a comment on his blog randomly. Didn't call/text/or anything too direct. Have never called him of my own accord during these days of NC.

Have seen him when in group activities, kind of pleasantly brush him off for the most part. A little better.

[Tshwane]

Day 1(Again) - No regrets for breaking 66 days of NC, i had to do it. I won't try and justify my reasons here but, she told me all the good things.

 

"Actions speak louder than words" and her actions aren't speaking at all.

 

I will continue battling hard to let go and one day it will happen.

[BrokenBear]

Good luck with the procedure Coyote!

 

As for myself - it is day 18, and the day she celebrates her birthday - not her real one, but meh, that's a story in itself. Anyways, I'm going to be needing much duct tape today, to refrain from wishing her a happy day, etc. Considering I know I'll either get 0 response, or a terse thank you, and me filled with regret that I did break NC after, I'm trying my hardest to not do anything about it.

[bubblyblonde11]

Ok I have now done 12days of NC but this is weird.

 

I work from home and have a work land line. Only a select number of friends/family have the number, i.e. Mum, Dad, best mate, EX B/F - think thats it actually.

 

Anyway ex got back from Thailand this morning, anyway about 10mins ago I got a hang up call on my work landline from a witheld number??

 

Very odd. Never ever happeneded before.

 

I reckon it's him just checking to see if I am sounding dull and lifeless, please to say I picked up the phone in my very usual most bubbly voice and hope if it was him he feels like total sh!te.

[papalazarou]

Well done bubblyblonde thats the spirit!!!!

[Tshwane]

Whewww! it's been a hell of a day, afrer breaking NC yesterday(honestly, i was curios to see her and also wanted her to see me happy and confident. Not the broken man that i was the last time), i was/am determined not to follow though and call her again. It's been a rollercoaster ride but i did well yesterday and want to disappear again.

 

Encouraging words are welcomed lol!

[rosie76]

Unusual situation here, but am about 15 days into NC with my most recent ex - we'll have been broken up a month. I'm doing ok with this - the more time passes the more unreal the relationship seems and though I don't want to see him around town and still think of him daily while out and about, I'm feeling ok that we split when we did.

 

The unusual bit comes in that I've just tried to sign off on talking to an ex from years ago who I had been getting to know again. Don't want to go into the story here as I think I know what's best here, but would be useful for me to put myself on a 'don't touch this situation' challenge w.r.t. him as well, so please sign me up for day 1 on ex 2.

[FreedomRing]

30 DAYS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

WOW!!! Quick recap...we broke up in middle of May....hung out a couple of times in June..LC-with most initiated by me.....we got into a minor argument that put things in perspective i think on why we broke up in the first place, and after that phone call I went into NC. Ironically enough, he hasn't tried contacting either.

 

I'd also like to mention that I had figured out his email password and had become quite OCD right after the breakup snooping, trying to keep tabs on his life, which severely stunted my progression and was leading me to a path of self-destruction! After that argument on the phone, I also decided then that I woudn't snoop...so it's been a long, tortuous 30 days of not snooping as well...which is TOUGH......while I'm proud of myself for completing this challenge, I can't say that I have thought about him less.....or that the space has given me any new clarity.....don't know if I would go running back to him if he changed his mind at this point(hmm...guess thats the clarity right there).....or maybe that just means I need more time on the challenge...lol....

 

The real test is my bday next month.....I plan on maintaining strict NC until then......and testing my progression if he decides to contact on my bday....wish me luck

[lady00]

I completed the NC challenge a while back, went 30 + days then broke NC (didn't go well lol!) then I went back to NC for a while and then I broke it again recently and that went much better, just friendly contact, nothing about the past. I'm going to have to interact with the ex at least at a very minimal level (friends in common etc) so we are now on fine terms but we're of course nowhere near as close as we used to be, which is good because I don't trust him enough to get close enough to him again to develop any kind of feelings (I was surprised by the breakup and I really liked him so I felt like I lost my trust in him when we broke up). Anyway, that's my update. Things are fine. I am glad to have priorities which have nothing to do with my ex right now. Who knows if I'll ever find love. I knew that my ex "got" me the way others did not but if it were meant to be, it would still be. Anyway, things do get much better. But funnily enough, I don't think it's doing NC or not doing NC that makes things get better. Instead, I think it's a decision to focus on yourself and think about what the things are that you really want in life and going after them. I still miss my ex at times and I do still have feelings for him but it's nothing like it felt when I first started NC. Good luck to everyone!

[SuperDave71]

Hiya Lady00,

 

So you are feeling better?

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

[lady00]

Hiya Lady00,

 

So you are feeling better?

 

 

 

-SuperDave71

 

Hi SD!

 

I'm doing really well, thanks for asking. I've actually been focusing a lot on career-related things recently so that's been great and of course enjoying the summer weather!

 

Oddly enough, I had a dream about my ex last night out of the blue. I dreamt that I was with my mom and we bumped into him and chatted for a bit then I bumped into him later on and he kept trying to kiss me lol. I'll admit I was a bit disapointed when I woke up and it wasn't real! I also happened to read a horoscope today that said an ex would pop back into my life this week wanting to hook up. I definitely do not put any stock in these kinds of things and I'm just chocking the dream up to the fact that I must have been thinking about my ex subconsciously when I went to bed. Anyway, thanks for checking in, I just thought I'd share my funny/random story

[CandyApple]

Sabreen -- I did something similar and have the passwords. It's torture so I advise anyone against finding it out. I'd been totally obsessive for two weeks (I don't even find anything that interesting!) but now I'm stopping. NC has to include checking his email, even though he would have no idea. I need to distance myself from his life.

[The One]

Ugh!!! Back to day One.

 

She called tonight and left a message, I was strong and didn't answere.

 

She IM'ed me on yahoo messenger and I responded "sorry I wasnt ignoring you I was busy and had some other stuff to take care of".

 

Then I called her back, I didn't leave a message. She Im'ed me back and said she was just kidding about me ignoring her.

 

The convo on yahoo messenger went on and we talked about what we have been up to and then we got around to about relationships and she told me she was still seeing the same person when I last talked to her. I then cut the convo short and said I had to go.

 

Jeeeze, this sucks, oh well, I need to ignore the call and message next time, unless she asks for reconciliation its just a hi how are you deal.

 

Back to NC for me.

 

I wish I could just smash any feelings I have for her.

[Tshwane]

i feel the exact same way about my ex, just now i was telling my friend that i wish it would all just go away.

 

I will do everything in my power to get rid of her not get her back. Im damn tired.

[Muzatsu]

Day 22,

Relapsing in terms of thought processes. It was the third month since we have broken up yesterday and so I felt crappy. Still didn't contact though.

[StayingPositive]

Day 11 of NC for me, gradually starting to realize that I only need to look out for Number 1. Starting to eat right again and been getting through my full exercise routine when I go to the gym now. Best part is that I haven't run into my ex or seen her around for a couple weeks now...

 

The other thing I have noticed is that the less and less I come to this site, its a moral victory for me because it means that I'm not thinking about my breakup Yet, I definitely still have moments where I need to just come on here to check out all the good advice people have to give.