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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71

SuperDave71

By SuperDave71
in Getting Back Together

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UnderBear Apprentice

UnderBear

Posted
Posted

So now day 2 has come to an end.

 

Been busy all day, which helps me get my mind off of what I should not be thinking of. But still I manage to sneak in a couple of panic attacks...

 

I'm so tired these days, that when I get to a certain point of the day, about in the afternoon, I almost stop feeling anything.

 

Also had a little taste of bitterness today. I am not, nor have I been, mad at my ex this far. I understand where she comes from. But still, the bitterness creeps up once in a while. She did hide that her feelings were disappering for me, for probably a few months. And why couldn't she have figured this out before it had been 10 YEARS!?

 

Feelings today: Tired, a touch of bitter, panicky, sad, lonely, did I mention tired?

 

Good night all

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thelonelydoll Apprentice

thelonelydoll

Posted
Posted

^^ Hooray UnderBear, you're doing great in such difficult circumstances and such a long relationship.

 

Whatever day today is in my permanent, irreversible NC, I have no way of blocking text messages from the ex, and he sent one today when I didn't answer the phone. I will NEVER respond, but I wish he'd just stop!! Of course, I also wish I could get my valuables back, but even in the text he denied having anything to do with their disappearance, referring to them as my "supposed missing valuables". I nearly burst a blood vessle, came on here, ranted to friends. If I had these items, I'd be selling them. But they disappeared with the various dvds, books, photos, t-shirts, and other less valuable items - and he feels victimized! I should make an avatar from one of the police photos of the damage he did.

 

As annoying as it is to get these random messages from him, once I get over the initial shock and anger, I guess I should be thankful that they serve as reminders of why I want no contact with this emotionally unhealthy person.

 

But I'm so impressed with our friend UnderBear - keep it going!

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Aldo25 Enthusiast

Aldo25

Posted
Posted

Day 2 of No contact is almost over, and I'm feeling good. I still have the occasional mood swing, still thinking about what I could have done to fix it, but my moments of calmness are slowly starting to outweigh my moments of anxiety.

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The Wheel Rookie

The Wheel

Posted
Posted

Day 15

 

Feeling strong. Have plenty of things to do to keep busy. Been reconnecting with some folks that fell by the wayside. I wish my ex nothing but the best and sincerely hope she's happy in her decision...I just don't want to know about it just yet.

 

If ignorance is bliss, then I'm euphoric.

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Insidious1 Rookie

Insidious1

Posted
Posted

Well... its been since Tuesday that i last texted her.

 

I WILL NOT text/call/email. I DID have a friend tell me a BUNCH of stuff about the ex that REALLY messed me up today! (Like... crying... depressed.. etc...)

 

WOW... i feel better though. Its bittersweet. But i know there's nothing i CAN do.

 

I am in the N.C. challenge... and plan on sticking to it.

 

So technically.. 2 days since last contact.. but only 1 day since someone told me a bunch of stuff.

 

I told them that what they said was enough.. and i appreciate it... but thats it for me. No more info is needed. it just messes me up. Ignorance is bliss.... (lets hope)

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SLBG Collaborator

SLBG

Posted
Posted

Im on day 2 of NC,

 

Woke up this morning n my ex has txt me saying "hope your ok xxx"

 

Very distant txt, for someone that was only saying 2 days ago that she loved wanted n missed me... oh and that i was her soul mate n she wanted me back

 

Roll on day 3

 

I think NC is a bit like giving up smoking or anyother addiction, the 1st week is hard but then it can only get easier... shame there isnt a "giving up ex patch" lol we would all be wearing one...

 

I gave up smoking over 3yrs ago and have never looked back.... *waves goodbye to ex"

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Rosie007 Explorer

Rosie007

Posted
Posted
Day 39 - i'm really suffering, i really want to call her. I just depend on friends when i feel low. I should never have seen her friend, honestly is a miracle that i haven't called yet.

 

Sweet Tshwane, I'm sorry to hear you're suffereing.

 

As ever, this too shall pass.

 

-Rosie

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SLBG Collaborator

SLBG

Posted
Posted
Day 39 - i'm really suffering, i really want to call her. I just depend on friends when i feel low. I should never have seen her friend, honestly is a miracle that i haven't called yet.

 

You have made it this far... 39 days WOW

 

Thats over a month.....

 

you are doing sooo well... im a NC newbie... its been little over a day.... its hard.. shesh id love to just txt her bk... but NO.. we have to stay strong...

 

Time is a healer, stay positive, keep your chin up and dont give up.

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supercalifragilistic Enthusiast

supercalifragilistic

Posted
Posted

Day 30

 

Well, I made it. I'm better than I thought I would be a couple of days ago, but I had planned on feeling more indifferent towards him, which I don't. I'm not over him yet, not even close. I think I'll keep doing the NC thing for another 30 days...if there's no contact by then, I think it's safe to give up, contact him and get closure. Or if I can go longer, I will, but I think at some point I think we should return each other's stuff. My intention was actually not contacting him at all for good...until he contacted me. But who knows how long that will take.

 

Oh, and Insidious, ignorance IS bliss

 

Once you stop trying to guess what they're doing and imagine the worst, it's even better. Good luck with NC, you'll see it's the best thing you've ever done. For me it is anyways...

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Aldo25 Enthusiast

Aldo25

Posted
Posted

Day 3

 

Well, I'm starting day 3, it's tough because I had a dream about her last night that really made me miss her, but (weather permitting) my dad and I are going out golfing in a few hours, so that should take my mind off her.

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macgyver4ever Enthusiast

macgyver4ever

Posted
Posted

DAY 30

 

I made it. I really did. Mr Mac made it to 30 days without talking to the girl he wanted to marry. How did I pull it off you ask? Here's my journey.

 

First attempt was 17 days. I had to call her to cancel her cell phone line because she was using all of my minutes talking to her new boyfriend. I handled the conversation well, but the aftermath was painful. Breaking NC does dig up old wounds, no matter how well it goes. Take people's advice, and don't do it.

 

Second attempt lasted 17 days. I lost my job, and she called to see if I was ok. I didn't answer, but felt it was the "nice" thing to return her call since she was trying to be nice. Same result, good conversation, and a lot of old0 pain.

 

Third attempt was around 19 days or so. I forget. I returned all of her stuff that was laying around to her parents house so I could "Let Go of Hope" and when I got home there was a nasty email from her telling me I had no right to talk to her parent without her permission. I eventually wrote back to soothe my guilt and anxiety. I was in severe pain after this, because this was when I finally accepted it was over, and should be.

 

And today, I complete the challenge.

It was not easy for me, but not as hard as many have it. My ex treated me like garbage, and for most of the length of the challenge I had no urge to call her except to yell. I'm still upset at her, and the things she did I would not accept from a friend or family member. I do not want her in my life as she is, but still deeply care and love this girl. The last 7 days of the challenge have been good. I met the most amazing girl ever. She completely blows my ex out of the water, and I sincerely hope to spend the rest of my life knowing this girl. I've never felt so happy, so alive, and so loved. I know the dangers of getting into something too fast, and too intense. The brighter the fire, the quicker it burns. The 1000 miles between us should help, and the fact that we both are communicating very well, and being honest means that we have a fighting chance.

 

I want to thank everyone for their help. Without all of you I would never had made it, and I will remember all of you for the rest of my life.

I would like to thank, 1forthegipper, blender, ThisIsHorrible, HockeyBoy, Paplazarou, Nappy, Caro, SuperDave, Boston23, Cyprian, PacoPaco, and all of the others who have touched my lives the last 2.5 months.

 

No contact hurts, but is the quickest and easiest way to get over someone, no matter how serious or long your relationship lasted. That does not mean it is the right thing for everyone, but for most this is the route to go. Make sure you leave it all on the table, that they know how you feel and move on. Life is too short to love one that is not loving you.

 

Hopefully you will still see me from time to time, but my next mission of NC involves ENA. I need to completely stop using my "crutches" and walk on my own. That does not mean a bad day, or a good day won't bring me back, but right now it is best to try to spend my time on myself, not reflecting my pain on here. And chances are I might be that guy who has his ex (the one he wanted back for months and months) try to come back and I say "NO".

 

Love has helped me off this path of despair; love for myself. Love yourself, and watch the good thinks come into your life.

Take Care, all of you.

 

 

Today I feel: Relieved, Confident, Proud, Happy, Excited, Enthusiastic, and NOT ALONE.

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