houdini Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Day 30 today!!!!!!! Boy have I came a long way!!!...I can't say that I'm fully recovered or anywhere closer to healing as it's only been 2 months since our breakup. I do however know that I'm not that pathetic,groveling,sad,depressed,beggging,crying ex that I once was in the beginning. I've gained some self respect, dignity and working on my confidence every single day. I will be honest though, it's been a tough 4weeks of NC and I've definitely have had my share of ups and downs. I still miss her, think about her, love her and wonder what she's doing and thinking...I think that will be a normal state of mind for awhile, it's how I deal with it each day is what will get me through it all. I hope everyone here can take a bit of encouragment from the fact that NC does work in getting yourself back and although our intentions in the beginning are to get our ex back, we have to be honest with ourselves and know that it's impossible unless we get ourselves back first. Thanks Superdave71 for your great advice and talks, I really appreciate the time you've taken to help many of us here at enotalone. I guess I just wonder where I go from here when I still feel the same about my ex...I love her still and miss her and when I get myself back I believe that I'll still feel the same... How do we know when it's ok to make contact with our ex. We split in the most ammicable way, no arguing just sadness and she was calm about it. We all would like to reconcile with our ex especially if there were no major issues like cheating or abusive behavior. Do we wait until we're not affected by if they respond or not when we make contact? if so, doesn't that mean you're at the point where it doesnt matter if they come back??? My fear is continuing with NC and moving on with my life and letting go of someone I love and achieving nothing, no reconciling because I chose to stay away from her all the while she's doing NC also.. It makes no sense or no chance of reconciliaton when 2 people are in NC... that's where I get confused on what to do and how long should on person go with NC if their ultimate goal is to reconcile!!! Houdini Link to comment
sunday13 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 ok then... if it counts then i am back to day 5 of NC. Booo. Link to comment
sunday13 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 on another note, i have gotten to day 27 or close to 30 days, and then he contacts me and i reply. bah! oh well... back to the beginning. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted March 21, 2007 Author Share Posted March 21, 2007 Do not pass go....do not collect 200 dollars... KEEP GOING SUNDAY!!! you can do it!!! DON'T make me get the duct tape!! -SuperDave71 Link to comment
MasterT Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 -SuperDave71 Hahaha, I somehow doubt you'll be needing that. I'm not breaking NC anytime soon! After all, she's the one who initiated the "hi" when I ran into her today, so I'm still in the clear riiiiiight? Link to comment
sunday13 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 yeah... i guess my whole version of NC was not initiating any contact. it's also a little hard when i see his best friend weekly. his best friend wanted us to be together... he comes to town for chemo and radiation treatments so we do coffee every now and again. we both try not to talk about my ex. Link to comment
GoldersGreen Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 it's also a little hard when i see his best friend weekly. .....we both try not to talk about my ex. Ouch! Must be painful. Link to comment
kate111 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Yes I would avoid friends. Or if you do see them make sure you act like you are happy about the break up. Link to comment
sunday13 Posted March 21, 2007 Share Posted March 21, 2007 Yeah, I joke around with him and am pleasant! I definitely am not weepy or glum. The only thing he has ever said about my ex is, "He cares about you a lot. He still has emotions there for you. He wants to get independent...He's basically a dumb---." I don't ask questions anymore. Of course I did the first few weeks, but I make a great effort to steer conversation away from that. The other day though, I met a friend of theirs and was introduced as a girl who used to date so and so. Ugh. Link to comment
lady00 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 I am finally accpeting the challenge. Today is day 2 for me. I can't do NC completely (work reasons) but I will not be speaking to my ex about anything non-work related from now on. I will be cutting out all unnecessary contact. Link to comment
ahhh2jz Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Day 77 NC - helping out a friend in need who recently got in the same boat as us; im doing alright though Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 day 74....gym, made some sales on car parts..yadadad..im jealous!! my friend who has been on the same boat as us, finally moved on with a new girl!! good stuff! lol! i see superdave is back! good stuff! Link to comment
Tshwane Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Start of Day 3 - Everyday is a battle, i hate going through pain like this. Link to comment
w3rd Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Day 37 for me. Interesting day, had its highs and lows....ENA is making it easier though! Link to comment
shadow34 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 hey guys Just checking in been a long time for me...well in my eyes Im sick as anything with the flu at the moment, probably all the stress from loosing woofy and the kids being sick and u name it.... So looking forward to getting back soon... As for the ex Ive seen him a few times, of course he wants me back just doesnt say it but calls me all the time. I couldnt be bothered to be honest, I just say hi blah blah and hang up...Im not upset or anything anymore....thank god and all of your gorgeous people... Big hugs to my friends, doni, rosi Mr echo, devast and anyone else I may have missed... Going back to bed before I pass out, love to you all XOXOXO Link to comment
Rosie007 Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Congratulations, Houdini!! Well done. Wish I had some answers for you, but I don't. As for me, Rex has been in my dreams nightly. Although, I have no intentions of breaking NC whatsoever, if I did I would only be redialing 1-800-HELLO-PAIN-AND-LACK-OF-SELF-RESPECT, I'm having this really weird thing going on: I seem to be missing him all over again. Deeply. Very odd. Well, I'm feeling the feelings, not acting on them. Nothing more. Still not looking at his pictures, still not checking to see his web whereabouts, still not look at his myspace. It's been 38 days of official NC for me, and before I started the challenge, I hadn't talked to him for at least a week. I still believe 200 percent that NC transformed dramatically what was a hopeless time for me, and I don't know if I would have done without this forum and everyone's encouragement. And with all that said, I still miss him on some levels, I still love him, and I still want to have his children. In fact, I'm waiting for my monthly cycle to begin ... I'm late ... and I know there's no possible way I could be pregnant, but still the hope lives. And yes, I've considered that at age 44, maybe I want a baby more than I want him. But the answer remains: I want it all and I want it now. Having said all that, still I know to thank God (or the Goddess) for unanswered prayers. In my life, I've wanted a lot of things will all my heart, and in retrospect I thank my lucky stars things didn't turn out the way I'd hoped. Best to all! -Rosie Link to comment
MasterT Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Day 28! Woke up this morning, almost allowed myself to get the morning blues again, but this time I took the offensive and fought them off. So I'm having a pretty good morning this time Still don't know what God has planned for me, I see signs of something great over the horizon though, and I cannot wait. ^_^ Let's see how the rest of the day goes. Link to comment
SuperDave71 Posted March 22, 2007 Author Share Posted March 22, 2007 MasterT, Push those blues away!!! If you want blues, come to the South and I will take you to Beale Street...HOME OF THE BLUES ( music) HA HA HA -SuperDave71 Link to comment
macgyver4ever Posted March 22, 2007 Share Posted March 22, 2007 Day 30 today!!!!!!! Congrats Houdini!! You are definitely headed in the right direction. Keep it up!! I can't wait to hear another success story!! Day 2 I'm doing well despite the unhappy face. I wish I was done with this challenge, but have my sights set on a goal, that I will not share because I do not want the ire of SuperDave. I have a phone interview today, and got a call this morning about an interview with a staffing firm that has a few openings for me. I'm excited about the prospect of making more money, and having a better job. My future boss at the company I really want to work for was very excited about my experience so hopefully that will work out. It's close by and I have friends there. I have been thinking of my ex a lot, which I expected. Mostly positive things, which makes me fear I am getting my hopes up for reconciliation. I'm not ready for that, and I know she isn't either. We need more time apart no matter how this falls out. Wish me luck today! Today I feel: Confident, Happy, Tired, Upbeat?, and Excited $$$ Link to comment
rsxguy520 Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 day 75...just went through a mini limbo right now..weird..had to post to relieve that stress build up.. wow its been such a long time i felt one of these.anyways today was good. slept in. excited for satuday. can't wait to hit the gym tomorrow. Link to comment
Wotgorilla Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 This coming Tuesday is one month into a lifetime of NC with my ex-monster! Link to comment
ahhh2jz Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 Day 79 NC - doing alright; I thought about her a lot though. I've been working on myself, but now I'm wondering if she'll ever contact me. Link to comment
SadOldMan Posted March 23, 2007 Share Posted March 23, 2007 It's more than 30 days since we had any contact, and today was a real downer. Couldn't pick or lift myself out of the gloom. Worst day in weeks. Thing is, I wasn't thinking of my ex that much today. Link to comment
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