Azudragon Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Day 74 I contacted her 5 days before her birthday till her birthday by txt. keeping strong, loosing interest......shes fading Link to comment
chiyork Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Day 51. Ex birthday comes up in three weeks. Thought about sending here B day greeting. But I probably won't do anything. It happens that I will be transferring flight in Chicago (where she is) on that day. I find it hard for me to stay at the airport for two hours because we had a long distance relationship. I was in New York and she is in Chicago. I flew God knows how many times. Every time I went there she always called me and told me from which exit I should go out and she would pick me up there...it was always exit 3A as I always took AA... No, I won't do anything although I will wish her happy b day in my heart. Link to comment
Robert013 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Day 1 I went out last night and broke down. I sent her a text message last night asking for a photo album of my son. I told her some of my feelings on why we broke up. I told her I never really trusted her because she cheated on me. I was hanging out with two other people who were dumped recently also and they said not to contact her. I did not listen. I am not going to do that again. It did not get me anywhere. I don't think I want her back overall. Last night i did and that is what triggered the message. this is the hardest god damn thing I have ever had to deal with. I really don't know if I can do it anymore. Why is life so cruel? Link to comment
cas Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 I'm asking myself the very same question. Don't beat yourself up for contacting her - that happens. Just keep on going, and someday we hopefully get out of hell. Link to comment
challenge Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 She always does this. I start to heal and she pops back into my life. Stopped by my house because she thought I was angry because of the no-contact /no-response. It was confusing, and awkward. I was completely unprepared and off-guard, but I managed through it, and tried to stay dignified, but did tell her I miss her. I said it's hard to respond because I love her so much. I didn't want show weakness and mention "healing" at all. I don't know what to think really. Nothing has changed, but she seems to REALLY miss me. Which is understandable. But she can't have her cake and eat it. She can't be independent and have me for support at the same time. It's not fair to me. It just amazes me how the breakup is having more of it's intended effect on me then it is for her. She is confused, and bereft. And she caught me in the middle of my anger phase, moving toward acceptance. Back to day one. Any advice, beyond the usual NC? This is a new experience for me. Link to comment
cmsajon1 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Day 3 Now been 2 weeks since we split, haven't heard from her for a few days. We broke up 2 weeks ago after 4 years together, she said she felt pressure from herself that we should move forward but doesn't feel she can commit. Question is, do I make sure we keep in contact by sending the odd text myself or just leave it all down to her? If she was feeling pressured then chasing her will make her run faster, this is what I'm thinking anyway. Right or wrong? Don't you wish you could just click your fingers and make everything the way you want it ;-( Link to comment
cmsajon1 Posted October 25, 2008 Share Posted October 25, 2008 Your obviously on her mind and I think its a positive thing she decided to call around. Maybe she justs needs time and why she does, she's making sure your still around and that your not forgetting about her. Link to comment
Stelinha Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 I woke up this morning and the clocks had changed- I suspect only those people who are from who have lived in the UK- know the meaning of the sad end of British Summer time! The winter nights are now darker much earlier and I for one am of glad the christmas decorations and lights that start to festoon the streets of towns and give a welcomed and cheerful reprieve from this darkness and also a hope for the future. What does that have to do with NC? I suppose what I'm trying to illustrate with this strange analogy is that I could compare the months of gloomy darkness to my time of NC- a very difficult time with seems neverending but with the faith that, one day, Just as Winter becomes Spring and Summer once again, that my sad period of grieveing will also end and I'll feel better again- as I say in my signature - like the phoenix rising from the ashes of my pain and suffering of losing this person. I'm really proud of myself that I actually reached 30 days and I plan to continue NC and 'check in' on this forum from time to time. I can't lie and say I feel miraculously better, I wish I did. Maybe I am better in some ways but it's too sutble to even notice? I think I feel more in control of myself and more aware of myself if that makes sense. I still don't feel like I'm off this emotional rollercoaster and I still get, in some crazy moments, the desperate almost 'out of my control' urge to contact him and it has taken all my strength not too. That is something I could never have done a few months ago so that must be a good thing from NC. I think it shall be interesting to see how I feel after more time as passed and I hope it might be helpful to others. For all the harm the internet may cause, this forum is proof of the good in human beings and of what can be possible when people from around the world, who will never meet or truly know each other, can unite together in sharing feelings, empathy and support. I am truly grateful to everyone who writes on the NC challenge who shares their intimate and personal stories, advice and support and I really feel like I haven't been alone. See you guys sometime in the near future for a report on my progress I wish everyone who is doing the 30 day challenge and beyond all my support in your journey. Link to comment
cas Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Almost a month since the break-up now. I've done NC for 8 days, and I'm starting to feel A LOT better! I'm not even sure I would take her back, if she wanted to be a couple again. But ofcourse I still miss her so much, and I'm actually a little surprised she hasn't contacted me in the 8 days of NC. But I guess she has moved on with her life aswell. Now I just sit back wonder how she has no qualms leaving a person that meant so much to her. She told me not so long before the break-up that I was her soulmate. I guess she didn't mean it... Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Day 6, 7 I wasnt going to come on today.. but i have been feeling a little more down then usual this morning.. today will be a week of no contact.. this will be the longest time we havent talked since we met.. I have no urge to contact her.. i know nothing i can say/do will bring her back.. i just miss her and everything about her..I hope i wont compare other women to her.. she was beautiful.. breathe taking .. and now someone else will be enjoyin what was mine.. that really hurts.. I have really been tryin to focus on not thinkin about her.. or think about "what ifs" or assumutions.. anytime it pops in my head i just try and think of osmeohting else.. I am getting better and know i will be ok sooner rather then later.. Link to comment
cmsajon1 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Day 6, 7 I wasnt going to come on today.. but i have been feeling a little more down then usual this morning.. today will be a week of no contact.. this will be the longest time we havent talked since we met.. I have no urge to contact her.. i know nothing i can say/do will bring her back.. i just miss her and everything about her..I hope i wont compare other women to her.. she was beautiful.. breathe taking .. and now someone else will be enjoyin what was mine.. that really hurts.. I have really been tryin to focus on not thinkin about her.. or think about "what ifs" or assumutions.. anytime it pops in my head i just try and think of osmeohting else.. I am getting better and know i will be ok sooner rather then later.. I know exactly what your going through, each day I think about texting her but don't, each time hoping she'll text me instead. Life eh! Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 I know exactly what your going through, each day I think about texting her but don't, each time hoping she'll text me instead. Life eh! yeah i know man.. it sucks.. I do wish she woudl contact me.. but i know she wont.. i told her not too! i said unless u wanna work things out dont contact me.. so i havent heard from her because she respects that.. oh well Im sure the next time i hear from her she will have a new bf or dating someone else.. she is too beautiful to be single for too long... oh well i have to move on.. on the bright side i have a date 2nt.. Link to comment
digitaldiva Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Day 6? His friend died in a horrific accident last week. I called to check on him yesterday. It went to v.mail and I left a message. He's away at the funeral and comes back in town on Monday. Unfortunately, I have hopes of him calling and trying to see me when he returns. Will he? I truly doubt it. I just feel like my life is slowly unraveling. Maybe it wasn't so together anyways. I'm thinking of leaving my job and just moving away somewhere. I just don't have any motivation to do anything. If only I wouldn't have pushed so much and appreciated him more. Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Day 6? His friend died in a horrific accident last week. I called to check on him yesterday. It went to v.mail and I left a message. He's away at the funeral and comes back in town on Monday. Unfortunately, I have hopes of him calling and trying to see me when he returns. Will he? I truly doubt it. I just feel like my life is slowly unraveling. Maybe it wasn't so together anyways. I'm thinking of leaving my job and just moving away somewhere. I just don't have any motivation to do anything. If only I wouldn't have pushed so much and appreciated him more. Hang in there Diva! You've been through this before, you'll make it again. Link to comment
digitaldiva Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Hang in there Diva! You've been through this before, you'll make it again. Day 6... And as time goes on it get worse. I'm not getting any younger. It hurts more when you destroy things with a good guy at 28 v/s 21. Link to comment
BeOptimistic Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Day 1 for me! I'm glad this thread exists to give me the support I know I'll need! Link to comment
GoldenHillGuy Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Day 6... And as time goes on it get worse. I'm not getting any younger. It hurts more when you destroy things with a good guy at 28 v/s 21. There is a reason for it all. Part of God's perfect plan is rejection. Take the opportunity to look inward and work on the issues that got you here. It all sounds so cliche but it's a cliche for a reason! Hugs! Link to comment
cmsajon1 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 yeah i know man.. it sucks.. I do wish she woudl contact me.. but i know she wont.. i told her not too! i said unless u wanna work things out dont contact me.. so i havent heard from her because she respects that.. oh well Im sure the next time i hear from her she will have a new bf or dating someone else.. she is too beautiful to be single for too long... oh well i have to move on.. on the bright side i have a date 2nt.. Now thats more like, you having a date has brightened my day up to! Have to let us know how it went! Link to comment
exploding head Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 4 months... It's been four months since I last saw her. Today is hard. I wish I knew why she keeps snooping around every day. My heart is healing but I feel nothing. Like It died when she left. I keep breathing. Career-wise things are looking up. I've been hanging out with a bunch of old friends. It helps somewhat. I just still feel like it's all so unfair. I didnt deserve all this. Link to comment
ryan2000 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Day 20 (27) Sorry guys. This is the day i am breaking NC. For anybody that wishes to know why, see the thread i started last night. Gotta give it a shot............. it's just who i am. Link to comment
cmsajon1 Posted October 26, 2008 Share Posted October 26, 2008 Its too easily done, I just broke NC too and now feel slightly worse! Had only got to day 4 (not the first time I've been at day 4) and was missing her so much that I said hello on messenger. Having phoned me 3 days running at the start of the week , she now gone 4 days without phoning. In passing and trying to not sound too bothered, I said that I was getting used to her daily phone call, she responded by saying that she figured she was phoning me to much - I instantly whatdc to shout back something like " ..to much for someone you've just dumped you mean???" but instead changed the subject. Just talked about everyday rubbish really and then I said night before she could say something like speak soon which I always hate to hear! She said night back and that was it, didnt achieve anything at all and broke NC! auughhh. Maybe pretending I'm fine being friends and discussing nothing more than everyday rubbish isnt the way to go! Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 Now thats more like, you having a date has brightened my day up to! Have to let us know how it went! we ended up having to cancel and reschedule for some time this week Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 you cant be friends.. it just strings you along and you will never be you .. Link to comment
cmsajon1 Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 we ended up having to cancel and reschedule for some time this week I'm sure it will be worth the wait, and if not I can always give you the number of my ex! Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 27, 2008 Share Posted October 27, 2008 I'm sure it will be worth the wait, and if not I can always give you the number of my ex! lmao.. i think england is a a little too LDR for me.. Link to comment
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