ApplePeace Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 about 2 weeks now and I numbed myself and jumped on a ''meet other guys'' wagon an I got hurt...yea I didnt act like myself full anger acussation *sigh* I think I pushed the ones I have off.. I feel stuck..an more lonely. Link to comment
cas Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 So, this has been quite a day. I'm back at day 1 at NC. But I wasn't the one to break the contact. I work at a supermarket (the same place as my ex), and she came by today to shop (knowing that I work wednesdays). There she was out of nowhere wearing new clothes and boots, and even makeup, which she rarely does. I was just stunned. I've never seen her this beautiful, and there I was wearing my stupid gay working clothes. The first five seconds I was speechless, and I guess the only thing I was thinking was 'NO NO NO'. Well, we hugged, and we talked about 5-10 minutes. We didn't talk about the relationship or feelings, 'cause I didn't ask. She told me though, that this time we've been apart has been very hard. I agreed. She asked me to come to the bar tomorrow. It's her last workday, so she and some colleagues are going out to 'celebrate' it. I told her that I had some other stuff to do, but I just might drop by. I'm seriously considering it. I don't know if I can do NC, and I'm doubting it will do any good if I want to be reconciled with her. Maybe I'll go LC. I don't know. Link to comment
cas Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Day 2 for me, still feel crappy, but this is the whole process right? Your right, babes. And prepare to feel crappy the following days. Keep going! Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 dont go. she will be shocked that you turned her down.. take some control back! u think she should have the privlage of hanging out iwth you even after she dumped you and then you wrote her a letter and poured your heart and basiclaly she said.. thanks but no thanks? do u really think she deserves u to come by the bar just because she is there??? dont give her that ego boost of knowin she has u wrapped around her finguers! Link to comment
cas Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 dont go. she will be shocked that you turned her down.. take some control back! u think she should have the privlage of hanging out iwth you even after she dumped you and then you wrote her a letter and poured your heart and basiclaly she said.. thanks but no thanks? do u really think she deserves u to come by the bar just because she is there??? dont give her that ego boost of knowin she has u wrapped around her finguers! Thanks hulk, I see why I shouldn't show up. She will be quite astonished. I'm not really thinking about what she deserves. The only thing in my head is, how my next action could be in direction to a possible reconciliation. And maybe LC would be better than NC? Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Thanks hulk, I see why I shouldn't show up. She will be quite astonished. I'm not really thinking about what she deserves. The only thing in my head is, how my next action could be in direction to a possible reconciliation. And maybe LC would be better than NC? The only thing in your head should be what is the best possible thing for YOU is! If you continue to let someone treat you like crap and like your just someone on the back burner they will continue to do so.. until YOU take control of the situaiton.. by not going you are basically saying i have my own life and my world doesnt revolve aroudn u.. Link to comment
In Limbo Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Thanks hulk, I see why I shouldn't show up. She will be quite astonished. I'm not really thinking about what she deserves. The only thing in my head is, how my next action could be in direction to a possible reconciliation. And maybe LC would be better than NC? Cas i think you know best..If you think a reconciliation is possible, and you really want it (for some reason , if u were also fault for the break up--or if u think you can give it one more try). She is may be ready, & if u wanna go for it & feel its time to give it a go then GodSpeed ya!! I hope the Jigsaws fall in place , but be prepared for any eventuality..! All the best.. Link to comment
cas Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Thanks for the advice, hulk, it's much appreciated! I know that my brain will be pondering non-stop about this the next 24 hours. And thank you too, In Limbo.. Link to comment
babes23 Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Your right, babes. And prepare to feel crappy the following days. Keep going! Thanks Cas. I still get the urge to get into contact, i know by doing that though i'll just keep on getting stuck in that unhealthy cycle which i've done previously. This sucks, but i must keep it going. Normally i got in contact on the third day or so, tomorrow i will do anything to keep my mind off it, once i get past day 3 that will be a little achievement for me. I need this for my own sanity, to let him go, afterall he's now let me go. Link to comment
In Limbo Posted October 29, 2008 Share Posted October 29, 2008 Glad you're feeling good. I called him because he just returned from a funeral. His friend died in a horrific accident. Sad!! I don't think you really have broken NC.Reaching out on this occasion is i think acceptable. He is someone you still care about.We can't ever let go completely . NC is meant for healing but it doesn't ask us to be heartless.So, i think you made the right decision.A caring one! In my case i did fight her demons as i tried to sleep..but sleep evaded me today..Though all in all i am allright.. Link to comment
Thalor Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I feel like a fool. She called me after I got out of my night class. I ignored it. An hour later she called again. I answered it because I thought it had something to do with our son. It did...she was complaining to me about our son's bedtime routine. She doesn't like how I've been doing it lately. That was it. She called me twice to tell me something that could have waited until I went to pick up our son today.](*,) Link to comment
In Limbo Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Day 2 I am doing OK. Have been feeling somewhat drowsy cuz did not sleep properly last night.. College was cool & now would like to take some rest .Thereafter i am gonna do some coding for my project. Hope everyone else is doing Ok too..! Link to comment
Robert013 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Day 6 I was hanging out with a friend last night and this made it easier to fight the urge. She said that I shouldn't have talked to her from the beginning and she told me so in the beginning. She said that she has done the same thing as my ex. She has wanted to keep me on a leash in case her other thing didn't work out. i feel so dumb for staying in very limited contact for 5 weeks. I went 8 day's no contact during that 5 weeks and all the other times it was once or twice a week. She said that she is just hiding everything behind this bandaid of a guy. She said if I leave her alone then she will start to feel. Right now she doesn't think that she lost anything. Once she realizes that she has lost something then she will start to show emotion and it will effect her new relationship. She said the only way to get through these things is to go through it on your own. She is proud of me for that. She said my ex. of 7 years will never totally get over it unless she spends time on her own. She said it happened to her and when the rebound was over it was just like breaking up with her ex. all over again. This is convincing me that I am doing the right thing by working through this on my own. You cannot bottle these things up nore can you try to hide them behind a new rushed relationship (bandaid). This is my time. My time to recover. My time to shine once again. Now I just need to figure out how to let go? Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Day 11... I guess im healing because I didnt even know what Day I was on.. I do know its been 6 weeks since our break up.. but this is Day 11 of NC.. I did see her on Monday, but i dont count that as breaking NC because it was accidental contact and it didnt set me back at all..(ok maybe for an hour or two ) I am getting through this and I am realising if she doesnt wnat me then she is the one missing out and I need to have enough self respect for myself to let go.. I think when u start putting things in perspective as in self-respect/someone not wanting you.. then you start to think? why would i want to be with someone who doesnt want me??? I think that has made it much easier for me to let go.. I will say im taking this break up and making myself a better person from it and learning.. I wouldnt be surprised if i look back in a few years and think to myself that was the best thing that ever happened to me! Link to comment
chilledsugar Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Day 1 .... Plan to go 63 Days without contact UNTIL NEW YEARS DAY January 1st 2009 ! Then Ill see how I want to proceed. Move on and or reunite. Link to comment
digitaldiva Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Day 10 now back to day 2 I feel like someone that I thought once cared about me, just threw me out with the trash. No not even threw me out with the trash because it takes effort to bag trash. They just tossed me out the window into an alley. I'm not even sure I want to get back together at this point, but how could someone that once cared for you just not care anymore and not want to see you ever again and mean it? Now I am jumping to conclusions. I don't know if he ever wants to see me again or not but it sure feels like he doesn't. Link to comment
digitaldiva Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 His birthday is Sunday should I call or should I send a txt message? Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 His birthday is Sunday should I call or should I send a txt message? short text.. happy bday... THATS IT Link to comment
digitaldiva Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 short text.. happy bday... THATS IT I want to call and ask if he wants to go to dinner!!! Should I be in the reconciliation forum instead of this one? Link to comment
In Limbo Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I want to call and ask if he wants to go to dinner!!! Should I be in the reconciliation forum instead of this one? You are so very unsure.When you made that last call, it was acceptable but now it seems that you might add fuel to an already beleaguered situation. First you say , you were conveniently tossed out into the alley & then you talk of giving your ex a second chance to treat you even worse. That's too clingy for me, but i might be wrong!! Link to comment
babes23 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 I think NC needs to be done when you're in the right frame of mind, otherwise you're just going to keep going round and round in circles and keep breaking it. It isn't easy, it's bloody difficult, but if deep inside you know it's the best option then you know you need to stick to it. If the other person ended the relationship and he/she hasn't got in contact then all you can do is respect their decision, go the no contact for your own sanity. Day 3 for me today, i used to get wobbly on this day and contact him but nope, enough is enough. I'm doing this for ME this time. Link to comment
BeOptimistic Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Day 1 for me again: I responded to his call (that I missed) by sending a text. As punishment, I'm going for 90 days no contact. Link to comment
cas Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Day 2 for me. I miss her a lot! I still don't know if I will go the bar. .. But I think I won't. What would be a good thing to say if she asks? Link to comment
digitaldiva Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 You are so very unsure.When you made that last call, it was acceptable but now it seems that you might add fuel to an already beleaguered situation. First you say , you were conveniently tossed out into the alley & then you talk of giving your ex a second chance to treat you even worse. That's too clingy for me, but i might be wrong!! I'm unsure where clingy comes into the picture. I'm sure you were very reasonable and had your mind completely straight when you and your ex split up. No, bc if you did, you wouldn't be here now would you. There are a plethora of emotions and thoughts going on in my mind right now. We JUST broke up and his friend died in a horrific way. I wanted to at least call to makes sure he was ok. Link to comment
hulk7280 Posted October 30, 2008 Share Posted October 30, 2008 Day 2 for me. I miss her a lot! I still don't know if I will go the bar. .. But I think I won't. What would be a good thing to say if she asks? tell her u had other plans.. and if she asks what they are.. tell her to stop being nosey and its not her business she lost the right to know what ur doing when she broke up with u Link to comment
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