Crows Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Day 11. Doing very well. I unblocked and she came online last night, I didn't bite, she went off and on a couple times then off again. It felt great.. I had zero urge to talk to her! Doing fantastic! Now I just want this little love triangle i'm in to work out... ughhhhh Link to comment
starlette08 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Starlette, I know how you feel! Having her as a best friend and then...gone..! We stopped contact because "she met someone" it hurt me so badly! She told me that the day after valentines and I had spoken to her on V-day and I poured my heart out to her she listened to me. I'm just confused and just hope she realizes what she has done. I miss talking to her and most of all holding her. I see here that going to complete NC (and it is easier said than done) that maybe someday the other person will react. Just pray about, just pray about it! Have faith! It sucks because i know he's getting all these msgs from me showing him how I feel.. and how can he just sit there and read it with no heart and no feelings! We've been through so much together, and I called him one day crying on his voicemail and nothing! he didnt even budge! Link to comment
gee Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I'm not sure what his deal is. Tough one to call. Go NC and let it go. That is what I'm trying to do. It is difficult but you need to do it. That is the only way you will feel better and hopefully have him sniffing around. How often do you contact him? Link to comment
wyrllish Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Sucks Scarlette *hug* but yes I do agree you need to stop contacting if you still are. I know what you mean though about you've been through so much together and how they can just turn their back on it w/o a response. It really is hard to say why he is doing what he is...or isn't rather. Link to comment
starlette08 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 i called him a few days post breakup. didnt answer. sent emails. no answer. waited a few weeks. sent some sad faces =(... nothing. then one day i called his house and his dad answered and gave him the phone. he totally wasnt expecting it to be me. we talked for about 10 minutes. i could tell by the sound of his voice that he was hurt. i almost wanted to cry on the phone. i just want him to be there so bad. i thougth that since we had talked on the phone finally, that things would be at least ok. turned out not to be the case. i was a wreck after because i realized how bad i really missed him. called him up again. never answered and thats when i left a msg on his phone crying. never heard from him since. its been a month. i know he's hurt. and so am i. so why are we doing this to eachother. Link to comment
GizMo567 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Is it possible to join? I need to get over the hurt. My story..is well hard to explain but i could in another post or here if you guys want. Just curious because NC might be the greatest therapy right now. Link to comment
lady00 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 you guys are so lucky to know that your ex will respond to you. ive texted my ex several times at the beginning with sad faces, and i miss you.. and please talk to me.. and i've gotten nothing back............ and it's been two months. i've even tried emailing and calling - yet nothing. i can't even explain to you how much this hurts. he told my friend he gets sad when he sees my msgs, so why can't he just respond. how can he have SOO much self control? how do you go from talking to your best friend every single day to not talking at ALL? how can he do this to me? it's tearing me up inside. i would DIE for him to say ONE thing to me right now. Well the reason my ex can talk to me is that he has no feelings for me, so it's easy for him to talk to me. Sounds like your ex still needs time to get over things. Link to comment
sara1 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Well the reason my ex can talk to me is that he has no feelings for me, so it's easy for him to talk to me. Sounds like your ex still needs time to get over things. Lady00, i'm really sorry to that. For those of us that haven't had any contact at all with the ex and are dying for them to contact us, i'm wondering do you feel better to have more closure? Do you think it was worth the risk of contacting him again despite how brutally hard it must have felt to hear his words. In my story it's been over 30 days NC and i'm sad he hasn't tried once to contact me. I'm dying to contact him but than i look back on past occasions where i have "chased" after the guy and it didn't work but ony pushed them farther away. I guess i'd like to find out if he is still certain about things or not. At this point i don't know whether the risk is worth it. Link to comment
starlette08 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Sounds like your ex still needs time to get over things. He won't talk to me, but he talks to my sister and best friend. both of them are in the same city. I moved out of the country for school so it's hard for us to just easily bump into eachother. Why is he still talking to the people close to me if he can't talk to me? He even has me blocked on MSN. I dont get it. Im just so confused right now that its nearly driving me crazy. Link to comment
lady00 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Lady00, i'm really sorry to that. For those of us that haven't had any contact at all with the ex and are dying for them to contact us, i'm wondering do you feel better to have more closure? Do you think it was worth the risk of contacting him again despite how brutally hard it must have felt to hear his words. In my story it's been over 30 days NC and i'm sad he hasn't tried once to contact me. I'm dying to contact him but than i look back on past occasions where i have "chased" after the guy and it didn't work but ony pushed them farther away. I guess i'd like to find out if he is still certain about things or not. At this point i don't know whether the risk is worth it. Well...talking to him didn't really hurt any more than I was already hurting. I think for me, I knew the response I was going to get and I finally realized that he will never ever ever have feelings for me because he's just hard-wired not to for some reason despite how great he thinks I am. I also realized I will never understand him so I am giving up trying. I told him that I really liked him and wanted to date him and we are on fine terms so if he seems me he can say hello but aside from that I am trying to forget my feelings and move on. So, for me the contact was not a bad thing and did not hurt me more than I was already hurting. If anything, it finally made me realize that he will just never have feelings for me and that he can't explain why so I should just stop trying to understand why. Link to comment
starlette08 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 oh no. i broke NC. we talked for about an hour on the phone. it felt really good - we just caught up on our lives since we havent talked in a month. is this a bad thing? am i going to feel horrible about it tmrw morning? i held back for so long but tonight, i felt like a bubble ready to burst. Link to comment
bostoneric Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 bostoneric - you said you didn't want to talk to your ex because you were heartbroken. im wondering if my ex is going thru the same thing. he hasnt returned any of my calls/emails for two months. ive recently started telling myself he is either really hurt, or doesnt give a *&^% about me anymore. how do you go from talking to eachother everyday for 3 years to no contact whatsoever!!? i was forced to go from living together for 3 years to leaving for my own healing. as much as it hurts me everyday still almost 3 months later i have to do NC because anytime i email/call I slip back into a funk of heartbreak and anxiety. Right now I dont know what/how she feels for me. I wanna say she still loves FOR ME, just not in love with me now. which sucks. but i cant make her change how she feels, so for now I have to do what i have to do for my own heart. when and if I'm ready someday in the future I will contact her, the question i have is why doesnt she contact me since she wants to remain friends? well part of it I know is at first she tried, but I wasnt returning her calls/emails then 1 day i finally did and told her why I'm not. I told her that it hurts me to much to talk to her still so I have to do this for my own heart. remember this is all about you now, you cant change them. only they can. I still love her with all my heart, but now i have to put that back on the shelf and start my new life without her.. maybe we can reconnect when I am ready. Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Day 2. I've decided I need a hobby - one that doesn't involve me obsessively checking my email (!), so I've decided to have a go at jewellery making. I don't have much money right now, but a friend is giving me some things and I've ordered a few little bits so I can experiment! I've also made enquiries about voluntary work. I seriously need to improve my confidence and I know I have skills that would benefit others. I am NOT going to waste any more of my life. This is a whole new start for me, and whilst I feel totally alone in it (am now cut off from my family), I'll be damned if I'm going to lay back and be a victim any longer. Yes, I love my ex - I love him deeply - but that ain't going to bring him back. Link to comment
dragon lady Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 7 days! This is the longest I've gone without contact since the breakup. I'm still secretly wishing he would call... Link to comment
starlette08 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Did he sound positive? Gee, it was a great converstaion - just like old times. we caught up because we havent spoken in over a month. we laughed - joked. i finally had to ask him why he was doing this and how he could just cut me out of his life like that - he responded.. "its just for now". he said he's waiting for me to stop caring about him. Can someone tell me what that means? why would he want me to stop caring about him? i told him i could NEVEr stop caring about him Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Sounds like he just wants to be your friend, Starlette - and in order for him to do that, he has to wait for your feelings for him as a 'boyfriend' rather than a friend to subside. Link to comment
lady00 Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 I'm not doing NC anymore. Broke it yesterday, had a long talk. I just don't feel the need to do NC anymore. Won't be calling him on a regular basis or seeing him at all but I may call him once in a while (maybe once in six months or whatever) if I feel like it. I know his feelings will never change, so I give up on that. Link to comment
l_lollipop Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Just had a big bust up with my ex. I get the feeling he’s not healing well (although he was the dumper) and is full of frustration and anger and he’s taking it out on me. I actually thought we could be friends, and although this is posted on the getting back together forum, I’m over wanting him back. But I am up for Dave’s challenge! There was no need for him to speak to me like a piece of dirt and swear at me today… I didn’t deserve it and I sure as hell didn’t antagonise him. So wound up!!! Off to see my new man tonight… glad I’ve got cuddles waiting for me, otherwise I’d sit at home fuming! Link to comment
Irish Jax Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Yay!!! Day 9!! I am getting better every day. I dont want to call him, the only reason I would call is to yell at him for being an idiot, but when I look at the phone, I know what I will hear on the other end and have no urge to call. I do look forward to the day where he does not occupy my thoughts. I am slowly letting go and moving on each day and I look forward to when I am completely over it. Day 9!!! Link to comment
wyrllish Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Day 6 Pretty much same feelings and thoughts but I have been thinking about her and another guy more the last 2 days. Really want her to call and want to do something. Friend said if I send her anything just send a simple,"hope you're smiling today"...been thinking about it. Ex's mom just called me...left a long voicemail but didn't talk about her daughter, not sure if I will call back or not. Link to comment
SamT Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 No idea what day im on now! Was something like 4.. but i spoke to her yday on msn. she started the convo and i didnt really respond, until she started saying she misses me/and thinks about me. I felt compeled to help her out :S because it was my fault we broke up... but im not sure wether ive given myself another batch of faulse hope, with her feeling better now shes spoken to me for a bit! Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 26, 2008 Share Posted February 26, 2008 Day 38 He made some "contact" again last night...for the 4th day in a row This time it was just a nudge on MSN. No message whatsoever. Link to comment
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