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THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE - SuperDave71


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so its been awhile lol. Just thought i'd let you guys know I"m doing great! I've been back to being happy me lil things kinda bother me still but i've realized no guy thats going to treat me like crap is worth wanting so screw him. I deserave better until he can be that "betteR" i dont want a part of him...ever if he can't be the person i need him to be so here I am "hanging" out with a HOTTIE he models lol and he rides a bike perfect since I ride too. Im going to take things REAL slow because I remember "crushing" on this guy the first time i met him over a year ago ... he emailed me on myspace about 3 weeks ago and we have been talking ever since. he is going to come hang out iwth me and my friends tonight so wish me luck!

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I have reached Day 3 of NC. Slowly feel a little better each day, but not there yet. Although no contact is hard, it is definetely going to be the best route for me. All of the normal break up thoughts enter my head, has he forgotten me? Is he already seeing someone new? etc.

 

The truth is my NC is going to help me to heal faster and also show him that I am not all about him as he expected. He wants me to call and beg for him because he truly believes that is what I am going to do. I will not give him the satisfaction of thinking he is right about me, because he is not. Although three days have passed, it seems like only a few hours.

 

Day 3.... more to come.

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Day 1 again

 

Ex sent me two texts yesterday morning. She "has a lot going on, hasn't really felt like being around anyone and lots to think about" then she will call me soon, but I don't expect anything. She said all that after i asked what's up to play off my accidental(I swear text.

 

ALMOST called her after class or stopped by her house just a lil while ago. Know what I have to do to move on and have any chance of reconciliation but still I fight myself about it. Wow can't stop thinking about calling/texting her lol. Overwhelming me right now for some reason, just having to know what's up.

 

This month is horrible she has barely contacted me. Jan. was 100% different in how she acted towards me.

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Try letting it go. There really isn't anything to report as you didn't get the job. I mean what will happen? You text I didn't get the job. He text sorry better luck with next one?

 

And then you go to bed trying to figure out his hidden meaning (only there is none!)

 

Give yourself more time.

 

Let him come up with a more relevent question to discuss.

 

He expects you to text - show him you are unpredictable!

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Try letting it go. There really isn't anything to report as you didn't get the job. I mean what will happen? You text I didn't get the job. He text sorry better luck with next one?

 

And then you go to bed trying to figure out his hidden meaning (only there is none!)

 

Give yourself more time.

 

Let him come up with a more relevent question to discuss.

 

He expects you to text - show him you are unpredictable!

 

well, i think i know why he is texting me. over the weekend, i broke down and called him. we chatted for awhile then i asked him if he wanted to get together for some drinks. he said he had plans with his roommate but would let me know where they were going in case i wanted to meet up with them. he never called but text around 2:30 in the morning with a sorry i didn't call earlier text. i did not text him back. so if anything he is just thinking i'm mad at him and that is probably why he is texting me tonight. that is the only reason probably to see if i'm mad at him.

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He asked me today to send him some data via mail.

Then we chatted. Even talked about sex. That's all he is interested in.

Althouh I want more, but still can't have it, I'll just go NC again.

This is the best way to sort my thoughts, to live my life without someone who wants to play games with my feelings. I just do not want to let him do that. If I do not take care of myself, my feelings, my health, no one will.

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Day 4!

 

Feeling a little bit better each day. Still thinking about him alot, but not as emotional. Four days is actually the longest amount of time that we have not ever spoken since we had been together. Its really not that long of a time, I know, but still an accomplishment. I know he is probably still waiting for me to call to beg, but it wont happen this time. I wont give him the satisfaction of believing I want him and confirm his belief.

 

He wanted space and time and all that to get away from stress, and a I truly hope he enjoys it. Regret will set in one day and I wont be the one on the end of the phone asking for another chance.

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Day 2

 

Itching to text her so bad still. REALLY want to but have to remember all my friends that keeps saying to not push and just have patience.

 

Longest we've gone Jax is about a week, she was [ ] the one who contacted me. Before that week we would only go 2 days heh. You're getting there!

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Day 21!

 

I keep getting this urge to take a peek at his journal. I wonder if he thinks about all this. I imagine he has thought about what he has lost. If he had any feelings for me, I think he would.

 

I can't give up on this challenge! I've worked hard to busy myself. I mean if I break the challenge, I'll have to start all over again. I want to get through this as timely as I can. If he ever contacts me, I hope it's a positive thing for me whatever the outcome.

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D

I dreamt I texted him with my new number and giving myself away. Argh.

And also this guy that I "maybe" like, I dreamt that he likes another girl.

Ouch..

 

I also had a weird dream about my ex. I can't remember exactly what it was, but I woke up thinking about him and I know the dream was about a breakup.

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