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GizMo567

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GizMo567 last won the day on March 8 2008

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About GizMo567

  • Birthday 09/30/1984

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  1. GizMo567
    It will get better everyone. I promise. If you can look forward and start working on you, NC will get better. The pain and torture is tremendous but i hope everyone finds the strength to move forward. shoefairy - It is difficult but i hope you stay strong enough to get through this. You will have to fight the roller coaster of emotion, but in the end you will be stronger for it. little - try to take things one day at a time. I know as hard as that sounds, try to breathe and take it minute by minute. It sucks when the ex moves on and we are stuck in the past wishing for them to come back. Stay strong and continue NC. man - Try not to drink the problems away but even more so, when you hit day 30, continue moving forward. It sucks and hurts a lot but try to keep positive and try to look forward even a little bit. It's good that you didn't contact her, hang in there. Angry - Hang in there. From reading all your posts, it is better that you went NC. It is not a mistake since the relationship was very rocky. I hope you can find the strength inside of you to start moving on. Eventually the pain will let up and everything will be ok. Stay strong girl. To everyone else: I wish everyone the best in the quest to put the pieces of their heart back together.
  2. GizMo567
    Day 34! Sorry I haven't posted in a while but i have been completely busy. 2 months after the break up and my heart feels healed. I now know what i want from a relationship, i have learned that i am stronger inside for everything i have just gone through. My heart doesn't feel like it weighs 233243 pounds and i think with help from friends, family, and a therapist i have been able to let go of all the pain i went through. I want to thank everyone on ENA for there support and positive words. For all the people that are going through break ups and think you cannot go through the day without thinking about them, there is hope. Concentrate on yourself, don't let those negative and foolish thoughts break your spirit. Know that you are strong enough to get through this pain and that one day it will let up. I understand the pain and torture when a break up happens, know that the light at the end of the tunnel is not as far as you think, hang in there people. I almost forgot what it was like to smile. Good luck everyone in your quest to find happiness. My inbox is still open if anyone needs to talk.
  3. GizMo567
    Oh, definitely Ix as nothing comes easy. It is always a work in progress so to speak but at least people can try to look forward and hope that one day they will be completely healed and out of this rut. It seems so distant now but if we stay the course, we can succeed and let ourselves heal to love all over again.
  4. GizMo567
    Day 16 of NC and it is slowly (and i do mean slowly) getting better. I can see why NC has helped so many people as it is a way if used correctly to heal your heart when it has been broken. It is not easy walking this path and to do this, you need inner strength, the will to move on, the power to see the light, to be strong enough to get through the burning flame of pain, and to see yourself without them. It is very difficult when you cannot let go but if you can try to move forward, you will see that with time your heart will put pieces of it back together and you will be able to love once again. I wish all the people going through NC and rough times find strength and courage to stand up and fight the pain that hurts us all and hopefully realize that one day we will find that special person and it is only a matter of time until we are completely happy forever.
  5. GizMo567
    What is with this week? "Lets see how they will respond to adversity. Set timer on how long there hearts can hold out if i throw a screwball at them and make them want there ex." Someone definitely turned on the faucet with this one. I feel the same as everyone else today. Sad, depressed, angry, crazy, and everything else that goes with the fact that you have to even think about the ex being with someone else. What a horrible week. BLAH! SCBunny - You ok? I think it is time to start letting go (A hell of a lot easier said then done!) but if he is starting to, maybe it is time for you to start working on yourself. Yeti - I am in the same boat with you. It really feels like you are completely destroyed but try to hang in there the best way that you can. It sucks watching your ex prance around and act like nothing has happened and you are left alone. You are not alone as i am going through something kind of similar as you. Stay strong! lex - Hang in there. You sound a little bit better which is really good. Stay in there and then you will see that you will be able to let go and love someone new. As for me - i think i am on day 15 (Half way there and i am clinging for air) so this road is definitely one that is less traveled. It hurts quite a bit but i really hope i can pull through this. I am really having a hard time with this as i don't think i stopped coming to the verge of crying almost every night. It is rough but i wish everyone in this challenge strength as we go through this together.
  6. GizMo567
    Yeti - I had to go through that in high school when my ex left me for my best friend (Go figure!) I tried to avoid as much contact as possible and when they did try to talk to me, i completely ignored them and there friends. It was hard as hell seeing as she was my first real love and it extremely hurt but i had to let her go and do it. I didn't know that was what NC was at the time but it did make me feel a little better. I am going insane. I think i just took 2 gigantic steps back seeing as i ran into my ex's friends (Woooo! Add to my misery!) and on top of that, they stopped me and tried to talk. I stopped and said hi and then walked toward my car. I was being laughed at while i was walking away which is not a good sign seeing as though i heard my name and something else. I think they know that we aren't together and she is with there friend. I don't know if it came out about us but i think it did. I know i shouldn't let this affect me but it did in a really really hurtful way.
  7. GizMo567
    Sam - You cannot let that get to you no matter how much you want to. Then you start breaking NC all over again for different reasons. Once you commit to NC, you have to stick to it and not break it for whatever reason. (Unless you have an STD or something but other than that boston - I am there too. Except i am home with my parents...again..on friday and saturday night. Isn't my life grand!? Doesn't it hurt and suck at the same time that no matter how much we let go, we can't because our hearts won't let us. BLAH!
  8. GizMo567
    Sam - We all feel that way. Internal bleeding of the broken heart. How long it bleeds and how much it bleeds depends on us really. When do we start trying to pick up the pieces and start to move on and when are we going to face the reality they are not coming back. As soon as you can do that, you can start moving. If you can't, you will be stuck in reverse for a long long time.
  9. GizMo567
    Hmmmm...This is slightly killing me but if i can just give myself enough time, i can heal. It is very odd to breathe very deep every time i think about her (especially at work when everyone stares at you as you do it in the middle of talking to someone but for the most part i have to let my heart heal. I am on day 11 or 12. It is one or the other but i have to start putting the pieces back together NOW or else it will be too late and i will be stuck here. I cannot be stuck here. I have to get through this. I am stronger then this. I am trying to repeat this to myself as i go through my day. I hope everyone is doing ok. LiLBear - Good job! I was wondering, do you still think about your ex at all after that many days and does the pain subside faster as the days progress??
  10. GizMo567
    This Really Sucks!! EX'S ARE EVIL!! That is all.
  11. GizMo567
    Of course it's possible lex. If anything reminds us about our ex's - i really do mean anything, then we are going to lapse and it is going to joggle our memory about something. It is natural. If that is the case, i would suggest you don't really date for a little while or if you do, preface it with a comment about how you are going through a rough break up and are not ready for something serious at the moment. You will eventually get through this. Good Luck.
  12. GizMo567
    Yeti - So true. My head and heart have been battling it out all the way until this point. I guess where i went wrong in the relationship and didn't realize the pain i was going through at the time and where i hurt us, unfortunately like Mock Chop said, can't turn back time. It hurts but i have to deal with it somehow. I guess losing her is so much more difficult as i see all the losses i had to deal with in the last 1 1/2 years. I need to let go of my past to build my future but it hurts so much. I know over time it will heal and i will have many nights where i cry and go insane in my own head. I guess i just wish i could go back in the past and fix everything. But i can't.
  13. GizMo567
    The urge to contact has now began to burn more and more and more and more. I feel like i am going insane that i can't hear her voice. I wish i could rip out my heart and replace it until my heart calms down but i can't. I love her so much and it hurts not being able to hear from her. I know this will pass but i find myself stuck to my phone praying she calls. How sad is that?
  14. GizMo567
    I think i am on day 10. WOW, talk about going up and down on roller coasters for the time being. I'm extremely depressed at the moment but that is life. I hope that everyone is going through there NC and break ups ok and none of us have consequential relapses. I hope everyone is doing well today as i will try to make this day a positive one. Good luck everyone!!
  15. GizMo567
    Woa GetMe, now thats a story. I hope everything gets better for you and hope everything is on the way up! Why does it feel like i am truly starting to slip and i am ready to jump off a cliff!? Or potentially commit suicide. Of course i won't but i just feel like my heart is giving out. Like something just died inside of me and i am having a hard time just getting up. I do not know if this is normal or not but i do feel really strange. This really sucks when i just went through all the horror this year and still can't have things go right for me.
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