Hunny1607307342 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 oh hmm.. so if he asked you back out again, what would you say? Link to comment
Tinnes Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 He wanted us to get back together 3 months ago. I made some mistake then, so I think it is over. I passed trough all the feelings I felt after we broke up, maybe even worse, because I thought I got over him. But at that time I did not. Had so much strenght to continue to live. Now he is mostly interested having sex with me. I won't do that. I am still happy when he texts me, because I see that he still thinks of me. I would like him in my life(sometimes). But cannot fight for him anymore. So I'll just turn to myself. If he change his mind, he'll call me. But have no hope in that anymore. I see he's healed mostly. Probably more that I am, so... NC day number 1. Link to comment
Mock Chop Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Day 4 for me. Lots of distractions today, as well as a pounding headache, so so far, the thought of him has hardly crossed my mind. Too much to do! Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Ok so there I was sitting there in the uni canteen minding my own business reading the paper eating my lunch and who sits down opposite me... my ex. Obviously I'm civil, we talked for about 30mins about what we'd been up to, how uni was going and she was asking me about my plans for when I graduate etc. She mentioned about the guy she was dating and how things weren't going that well about how he was to serious and she didn't want a relationship and how she thought that today would be the last time she saw him, (she said they were going for lunch). She said I wasn't really the person to be talking about it with given our history, I said I understood but if she wanted to I was comfortable listening. She was saying how she'd been to a few places recently that reminded her of me, places we'd been together etc and how she'd wanted to ring me etc but didn't. She was also asking if I'd been out much and saying how she hadn't seen me out recently and couldn't remember that last time we actually saw each other. She was telling me about her diet, something I've always been concerned about and how she still worried about it and how she was worried about finding a year placement for uni. And she was saying how she didn't want to burden it on me or anything. While we were chatting a friend of ours ended up joining us which made things a little bit more awkward so me and her couldn't really chat anymore which was upsetting as it felt like we were starting to connect etc again. Right now I can't decide how I feel, am I happy I've seen her and spoken to her? yes. Do I feel up set about the whole situation? I'm not sure. lonely83 Link to comment
honeyspur Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Wow - how incredible lonely83 - I don't blame you for feeling frustrated that your friend came by - that was a wonderful talk you two were having. Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 I know, I will just have to wait and see what happens I guess. I can't help thinking the fact she's seen me right before she goes for lunch with this other guy she is meant to be dating might make her end it with him sooner if she was already thinking of it - does that make sense? lonely83 Link to comment
honeyspur Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Yes - a lot of what she said sounds telling - you are right to wait and see though. I do think that because you were totally unaware of her approaching you, you were giving off the right energy. I know it's hard to go back to the frame of mind you were in before you saw her - but it does make you completely unthreatening and approachable. Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 honeyspur, What do you mean by 'a lot of what she said sounds telling'? Oh don't worry I intend to get back to the way I was before seeing her today. She has to chase me and show me that things she really wants to work things out. I've no intention of chasing after her etc - I mean I'll put the effort in to become friends but I'm not going to let her string me along or anything. lonely83 Link to comment
Irish Jax Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Day 11. I am doing ok today. I have thought about him a lot today though and miss him alot today. Do you all have days like that? Where you just miss them? I havent really "missed" him over the course of NC, but today I do. Its not enough for me to want or create the urge to call. I just miss him. Well, here is to the day I do not miss him. Day 11!!! Link to comment
GetMeBack Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Yeah I know how you feel Irishjax. I am on day 12 today and I missed him a lot yesterday but im doing ok. And getting stronger..I can feel it.. Link to comment
wyrllish Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Day 8 She came into my thoughts a lot last night and really couldn't get it out of my head. Really want to text something simple...but also don't want to break the streak of 8 days. Link to comment
honeyspur Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 wyrlish - stick to your goal - it's not a waste - just for the sake of a few words. lonely: I think she is curious about you - but not decisive in any way. Your calm, unthreatening manner is obviously the part of you she likes. If she just wants to be friends only - you will have to make the decision to try and date other girls. Heck - I'd try anyway! Then you'd have something to talk about! Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 honeyspur, I'd like to think she is curious about me what I'm up to etc and thinking of me and our conversation today kinda made me believe she is but for some reason I'm still not completely convinced she does - you understand? Yeah I want to try being friends with her, I mean I know it won't be easy and I'm sure I'll get criticised for it but I don't see any harm in trying. I mean we spent nearly two great years together didn't break up on bad terms or anything - perhaps we just need the past month or so apart to be ready to work on friendship? As for the dating other girls part trust me I'm open to that idea, but to be honest I only want to do it for the right reasons, for me and not as a means of getting back at/hurting my ex. lonely83 Link to comment
honeyspur Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 No, you are right - only date someone new once your ex is out of your system - which will be hard if you try to engage in a friendship with her - so please be careful! Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 honeyspur, what do you make of her intentions from what you've read - a bit of 'women intuition' would be greatly appreciated here! lonely83 Link to comment
honeyspur Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Like I said - I think she's curious and maybe wondering about your past relationship. But I'll be honest, as someone who's tried to be strictly platonic with my exes, it ticks me off when they harbour high hopes and "pretend" to be my friend, only to drop out of my life because I no longer have romantic feelings for them. Like being a friend is such a meaningless relationship or something. In fact it ticks me off A LOT. Be very careful of your intentions. If you end up spending time with her or something, and she wants to reconcile - she will definitely tell you. I'm almost positive of that. I really think when you've already been there, there is no shyness about coming back. Otherwise, she really just wants to be friends. Period. I really don't want to see you get hurt after all the progress you've made lonely - so please, treat this with delicacy..... Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 honeyspur Your advice/thoughts are really helpful and greatly appreciated. There's absolutely no way that I'd allow myself to harbour high hopes of us getting back together if we were to become friends - I've allowed this to happen in the past, (getting my hopes up) and things haven't worked out as I'd wanted. There's no way I'd ever consider dropping out of her life just because she didn't have romantic feelings for me if we were to become friends. Who knows it may turn out that if we were to become friends that after everything I might not want her back etc. I've no intention of rushing in to anything at all with her, I've still not put her number back on my phone and she is still blocked on my msn - as far as I'm concerned right now she needs to be the one making the effort and chasing me, even if it is only in terms of friendship. Does that seem selfish? lonely83 Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 Day 40 He didn't try to contact me on MSN yesterday. Link to comment
SamT Posted February 28, 2008 Share Posted February 28, 2008 This sucks My ex wants me back....and then she doesnt. Its like up and down all the time. Think i need proper NC for myself.... but its like she admitted that she doesnt know where we are and that shes confused. I was doing well before she starting messing with me...that the worst thing. Link to comment
Crows Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Day 14. Two days away from my record. No signs of her contacting at all. I feel so liberated and so much weight is off me! Link to comment
Crows Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 This sucks My ex wants me back....and then she doesnt. Its like up and down all the time. Think i need proper NC for myself.... but its like she admitted that she doesnt know where we are and that shes confused. I was doing well before she starting messing with me...that the worst thing. Alright... THis just happened to me two weeks ago. And I gor BUUURNED. She was coming on to me, wanting to get back, then she was with this new guy all of the suden and disappeared. My advice? CUt her off, Don't initiate anything, and if she initiates anything... be short, and concise. She's probably confused. Let her be, and let your heart come back down to earth.. protect it. Trust me. I deleted her, cut her off from everything for 14 days now and I feel the best ive felt in 6 months. Link to comment
minigirl Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Day 2 Yesterday for some odd reason, was a bit of a bad day. My mind thinks of him everyday, but yesterday I imagined all the bad senerios. Whether he is or is not with someone, I imagined it. I imagined him with some of the hotters girls that we mutually know. I imagined him married and him cheating on the wife with me. I lost my mind yesterday. Though it isnt, I just kept imagining the worst possible senerios. I wanted to feel all the pain I can possibly feel so I couldnt feel anymore pain. Duno if it;ll work, but i hurted myself yesterday. Day 3 Today was a bit better. I was busy. I had a mutaul friend of both of ours who didnt like us both together come up to me and act friendly. It felt weird because I thought she wanted soemthing out of me. I gave nothign and kept it short...I didnt want to hear anything to upset my mood. I also ran into another friend, she asked about him. Wether she knew we dated or broken up, I dont know whether she tested me, i dont know I simply answered her I dont know. I think I did well and tried HARD to not focus on it and let it affect me. I still think of him everyday but Im trying to think of the good and bad with sense and try not to let it affect as before. I see our starbucks, I rememebr the memory and try not to dwell on it. Im trying .. I really am. Im proud of you minigirl!! Thanks minigirl... Link to comment
LilBear Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Sam, don't let your ex suck you in. I agree with Crows. Basically that was me, about 2 months ago. Link to comment
SamT Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 Hmm because shes been doing it on and off for the past 6/12 weeks... today is a "nothings gonna happen day"... Weve talked about it, and she knows its selfish, and ive told her not to do it anymore unless she means it. she replies by saying - i do mean it. but still its nothing... Im seeing her in 3 hours... because shes coming to this house party we're having tonight (mutual friends etc)... and i kindof wanted to see her before, so that its not so much of a shock to me later on. Dont really know what im going to say to her though! Link to comment
lonely83 Posted February 29, 2008 Share Posted February 29, 2008 SamT I'm probably not in the best position to pass on advice but I'd say just try and be yourself when you see her later. Try and be the person she first fell in love with - if that makes sense? I think we need to show our ex's that we are not fazed by them even if we do want them back etc lonely83 Link to comment
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