When shouldn't I be living at home..

[smiles21]

Well, I recently graduated college, and have had my feet in my first "Real" job out of school for about 6 month's now. And recently my GF broke up with me, long story (search if you want more info on that lol ).. so I'm trying to become more independent. I understand I really should be moving out of my house soon.. my parents are both very supportive and have no issues with me living there for eternity I think, lol.

 

I dont make a lot of money, salary is about $31,000. I have some school loans, and have about $1300 or so free at the end of the month.. maybe a little less.

 

I really would like to purchase a duplex, rent out half, and live in the other half.. could build equity.. and would pay some of my rent.. I'm 23 by the way. I'm just worried about meeting someone, and me saying that I still live at home.. would this hinder you ladies? I really would have preferred to move out with my significant other and split bills, but this isn't happening as you can see. My friends all still live at home.. Hrm.

[Aschleigh]

yes. living at home hinders relationships. Can you have a women over anytime you want to spend the night?

It's ok to live at home but it will hinder your relationships, it's unattractive.

[heloladies21]

I'm just worried about meeting someone, and me saying that I still live at home.. would this hinder you ladies? I really would have preferred to move out with my significant other and split bills, but this isn't happening as you can see. My friends all still live at home.. Hrm.

I used to very much have the same insecurities when I was your age, but the only way this is going to matter to a chick is if you are acting in a way which shows her that you are insecure about it. Logistically it only makes a difference in the sense that you will limit your opportunities to hook up with her. Living at home didn't stop me from getting my last three girlfriends (I'm in and out, currently looking for a place at the moment).

 

So that being said, you sound like you're in an ok position to get out there. Just realize that there are utility concerns/taxes/maintainance issues to consider as well so you won't be as free flowing with loot as you would otherwise.

[laboheme]

"Living at home" varies from person to person. You have the momma's boys who are living there because it's convenient to have their mothers put dinner on the table every night, wash their socks for them, worry about household bills, and oh yeah, not paying rent is pretty nice. Then you have those who are in full control of their lives, but just happen to be saving some money by living with their parents because it's in their best financial interest -- mature adults, in other words. I'm assuming that if you choose to stay at home, you'd be the latter...because the former is completely unacceptable.

 

A good woman won't judge you for your decision to live at home while you're trying to set your finances straight. As long as you prove that you're doing it in a responsible, adult manner, I wouldn't consider it unattractive. But yes, it can make intimacy challenging, so if you're leaning towards living at home, think about how much privacy you'd have and how your parents would treat you. You say they're supportive, but would they still see you as a high school student, or would you be more of a roommate figure to them -- one who is entirely independent, can have company over, etc? And as far as spending the night goes, if the woman doesn't mind you coming over, that won't be too much of a problem...

[renaissancewoman101]

My ex lived at home, but he was one of those "momma's boys" who like to have his mother take care of things while he spent his paycheck on booze, cigarettes, and toys. Dating him was not easy. His parents were ALWAYS home. They were retired. His parents liked me a lot and I was always welcome to come and stay over. But my ex was always arguing with his mother and she treated him like a little boy and she also expected me to keep him in line.

 

I will tell you this, your living at home will eventually grate on a SO and cause problems. If you are saving up for a house or something, than NO, it wont. But, if you are just bumming around at home, then, YES, a woman may not take well to that.

 

My brother lived at home until last year. He's 28 years old. He has a good, high paying job as an engineer. He stayed home to save money to buy a house (it's VERY expensive to buy a house in CA) and he bought one towards the end of last year. He didnt mooch off my parents. My parents didnt want him to pay rent, but he bought things for them and paid for things like the cell bill and the cable bill and Internet.

[smiles21]

Labo thanks hun. But you know what, I'll be completely honest here.. me and my mom have been really close forever, my dad not so much, we havn't really had a relationship.. I used to be the first thing you mentioned, but I was in school, helped around the house, and never took it for granted. I think my ex hated that, as she had to do most on her own as she did not get along with her parents.. I would like to be on my own, but I have never been out in the world like that, it really scares me. I know I need to grow up and get out.. but I dont want to come crawling back.

[Jonboy582]

Im sure with $1300 left over evry month you can pay of the student loans very quickly. After thats done try and find a friend or two who would move in with you. That way yu split the rent considerably and basically get the feel of living in your own home and paying bills.

 

Its worse here in England as rent prices are atleast 3 times higher. Thats the reason I can't move out at the moment, while at Uni (unless I want big debts).

[smiles21]

I dunno, I may just attempt to save money and live at home. I had a friend ask me about moving out, but I dont know how that would fare.. what happens if someone loses their job, etc.. Living with someone is different than being friends..

 

Also, I really wanted to meet someone, and move into together. I thought me and my ex were going to make that step, but obviously that didn't happen.

[Jonboy582]

Yes if someone looses their job or just leaves without a trace you will have to fit the bill. My brother ended up paying like 3 months rent for someone who ran away as he could not pay the rent. You have to make sure you move ib with someone you really trust, and will not let you down. If not just hold in there till you feel you want to leave.

[VerySadToday]

23-28 is not too old to be living at home. It is wise to save up some money before you get out on your own, because after that, it is really hard to save. If a guy is still living at home beyond age 28, most women start wondering if the guy is just freeloading off his parents or has some sort of momma's boy issues.

[CharlesF]

I would say definitly move out. Buying someting right away is probably not a good idea. You can rent an apartment for about a year. When you meet someone, you will not have to say you are living at home.

 

Move out and enjoy your life.

[Weeblie]

I agree with CharlesF. If you can move out...go for it.

It's a great feeling that independence.

[heloladies21]

It depends who's name is on the lease. If you both sign separate agreements, then you are only responsible for yourself.

[iwishiknew]

yes. living at home hinders relationships. Can you have a women over anytime you want to spend the night?

It's ok to live at home but it will hinder your relationships, it's unattractive.

 

Yes thats correct!!! Living at home is really unattractive! I have been turned down by girls because I am 28 yrs old and still living at home..Maybe thats one of the reasons why I don't have a gf yet..No girl really wants a guy who still lives at home with there parents..If you have the money and decent paying job like you have, I would move out of the house!

[heloladies21]

I have been turned down by girls because I am 28 yrs old and still living at home

No this is not the case. You are misplacing the blame for your lack of success.

 

I still live at home. I've been in and out since I was 18, but I've gotten 3 gf's including my current while living at home. My brother lives with my dad and he gets gf's all the time (including now).

[Kevin T]

It's true... I moved out, thinking it would help me with women. lol

 

And it clearly DIDN'T.

 

So, it's something else.

[iwishiknew]

No this is not the case. You are misplacing the blame for your lack of success.

 

I still live at home. I've been in and out since I was 18, but I've gotten 3 gf's including my current while living at home. My brother lives with my dad and he gets gf's all the time (including now).

 

 

I didn't do anything wrong, We went out once and after that I called her and she told me that this won't work out..I asked her why? I thought we had a good time and she told me that you living at home with your parents just won't work out between us..I asked her why? Why does that matter? She just told me "just because" and said good bye and hanged up.. So whats my lack of success? Yes it would be still living at home..It might not matter to many girls but it does matter to some girls.

[rocio]

I think a better option would be to stay at home for a couple more years, save up enough for a downpayment, and then buy something. Maybe your parents would be willing to cosign if your credit's not good enough. That's the smarter move. And chicks dig smart guys, as well as guys who own their home!

 

A guy I was seeing lived at home until he finished school. Then he got a great job and he moved out. But he got so lonely living by himself that he moved back home. I think that's sweet. The kind of guy I want to be with - someone who would rather be with family than be alone. That's marriage material.

[scarew]

"living at home" can mean many things. My ex lived at home. But his mom was an at home mom. So she DID wash his socks, put dinner on the table every night, tidy his room, lend him her car, etc. The only way for him to grow up was to move out.

 

I have another friend who is 28 and lives at home. He pays his parents rent and has the whole basement to himself. Different situation.

 

In alot of cultures, you never leave home. They value the family social network more than we do. In this society, probably a good idea to get out. Unless you can develop some sort of independency at home. But that might just hurt your moms feelings if you tell her you want to hang around but need more space. My ex living at home was a big problem for me. I moved out of my house when I was 16. I had MUCH less than 1300 a month to live off of (try 700 for rent, food, car insurance, and phone) but I made it. I never went "crawling back". Move out, but don't move far if you are scared to hit the big world out there. That way if you find you have no food in the fridge and the grocery budget is exhausted, you can always go to mommies for dinner (take home some canned food while your at it). If you JUST graduated, maybe make a deadline for yoruself. Like you have 6 months to save up money before you start looking for your 1/2 duplex. And when you meet women and they inquire about your living situation be confident in your decision. It's rational and makes perfect sense either way.

[smiles21]

Thanks for the advice guys, I need to make a decision on what I want to do. I dont know how secure my job is right now, and I may be making a career change soon. I need to talk to my mom about it as well. I value all of your opinions.