bf always telling me to smile

[sweetheart21]

My boyfriend is constantly telling me to smile. If we are out with people and i'm chatting to them etc he will interrupt and say 'smile!' Then everyone turns and looks at me. Its really embarrassing. He sometimes says it when i am already smiling.

 

The other day i was walking from the bank back to the car and when I got in he said 'you never smile blah blah blah'

 

What is there to smile about when your just walking to your car???

 

I would feel weird walking around with a big smile on my face when there isnt anything to be smiling about.

 

Its not like i'm frowning constantly, its just when i'm doing ordinary things I have a blank face.

 

Is this unusual? How doI get him to stop saying it? Do other people smile in these everyday situations?

 

I know this is a bit silly but I'm just curious to know what other people think about it.

[Caterina]

I dated this guy who kept telling me to smile. When I met his ex, I saw that she was like sunshine on steroids. Then I looked at other things he was telling me, like that I needed to dress younger and so on and I realized he was trying to make me like his ex. Wow, he was so annoying.

 

In any case, though, anyone telling you to smile that much has to be a nuisance. Have you told him to stop telling you that and to accept you as you are?

[Biffy]

I think that people that have a permanent smile on their face have either had a stroke or are as dumb as a stick!

 

I'm not a natural smiler, you have to earn my smile! Doesn't mean I'm unhappy if I'm not smiling. The look on my face is created naturally by how the flesh on my face hangs off my skull...

 

And boy do I hate people that tell you that it takes more energy to frown than it does to smile.... I find that people that say that are generally worth the effort!

[Clementine orange]

I would find that really annoying.

Plus someone who repeatedly tells you to do something in front of other people (so that they look at you is being disrespectful.

You shouldn't have to put up with that. Does he own you or something? Are you his little puppet? Is he coaching you for a beauty pagent?

See, I'm actually getting annoyed for you!

[Beec]

Why not tell him to give you soemthing to smile about?

[Mythical_Suicide]

I'd tell him to shut his hole and if he doesnt' like how you "never smile" then tell him to take a hike. What he is doing is extremely rude, Maybe next time yall are talking with someone and he tells you to start smile turn back to hima tell him to stop being such a jacka$$.

[Beec]

I'd tell him to shut his hole and if he doesnt' like how you "never smile" then tell him to take a hike. What he is doing is extremely rude, Maybe next time yall are talking with someone and he tells you to start smile turn back to hima tell him to stop being such a jacka$$.

 

Those words would garner a response of "F-U Beeeaccch", and it would end the relationship in the next two minutes. Fine, if that is your objective. If it's not, other methods would be more likely to change his behavior.

[Mythical_Suicide]

If my bf was so disrespectful after time and time of telling him how embarrassing it is to be told to smile infront of people i'd definitely tell him exactly what I said and if that's the end of the relationship then guess what? im glad its over, because obviously it wasn't a strong relationship to just end like that.

[Batya33]

I have heard that from elderly men who are strangers - to me it has a patronizing connotation and an implication that women are supposed to always look "cute" and "smile." Yuck. I would tell him that you cannot be a puppet or barbie doll and smile on command.

[Biffy]

I have heard that from elderly men who are strangers - to me it has a patronizing connotation and an implication that women are supposed to always look "cute" and "smile." Yuck. I would tell him that you cannot be a puppet or barbie doll and smile on command.

 

 

No need to take it as sexist... Old folks say that stuff to me too and I'm about as far away from feminie as you can get.

[MyNinja]

I know that can be very annoying. Does he smile constantly even when there's no need? For ex. smiling while washing the dishes or driving. I would find this a little strange unless he's constantly thinking about something funny, but anyway, try not to let it get to you and tell him he needs to let up a little bit because he embarrasses you and is treating you more like he's your father instead of your boyfriend

[Baby Carrot]

Wow, Im getting am getting annoyed for you as well!!!

 

How annoying! I feel for you and ditto other posters...

 

 

Have you told him to stop telling you that and to accept you as you are?

 

It has a patronizing connotation and an implication that women are supposed to always look "cute" and "smile." Yuck.

 

You shouldn't have to put up with that. Does he own you or something? Are you his little puppet? Is he coaching you for a beauty pagent?

 

I've been several times in a similar situation, except that people didn't tell me to smile they told me "Why are you so serious?" Gosh! If I had a dollar for every time I've heard that since I was a little kid....

 

Like Zombiain beautifully stated:

 

I'm not a natural smiler. The look on my face is created naturally by how the flesh on my face hangs off my skull...

What else do they want? And yeah, even women are sexist enough like for questioning you directly about the very look on your face cuz all girs are supposed to be shiny, happy and smiley, like Barbie dolls...

 

Sheesh. Won't they just live and let live?

 

How does the look of your face affect all those morons in like ANY way?

 

I truly feel is a passive way of bullying someone's butt.

[Caterina]

Where I work...if you are overly smiley especially at my age, you won't get taken seriously. Not smiling can be a huge plus.

[Survictor]

I would find him telling me to smile constantly most annoying and the next time he said it, I would say "Do you mean like this?" and stretch a huge grin " And laugh and jokingly say, "If I smiled constantly, people would think I was taking happy pills or I had cosmetic surgery that had gone wrong! He wants me to look like "The Joker!" I would basically turn the tables and make him look as silly as he tried to make me. Mature? Perhaps not!

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

I used to have that problem.

 

One of these responses should do it, use as appropriate -

 

1) "Why don't you?"

2) "What for, sweetheart?"

3) "Good idea, cos that'll help!"

4) "Being ordered about doesn't make me happy"

5) "I'm smiling on the inside"

6) "I used to do that, but it didn't do anything for me"

 

Wow, I could go on.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

My sullen attitude makes me hot, I've been told. Welcome To The Dark Side, baby!

[bitbit]

i just learned about this in one of my psych classes, how funny. well... let me tr and explain best i know how. people interpret information in different ways. some are visual (like your boyfriend), some are kinetic, and some are auditory. your boyfriend looks over, sees you not smiling, and interprets is as something is wrong. thereforeeee, he wants you to smile constantly as a way to reassure him that everything is ok with you.

[Azual]

i just learned about this in one of my psych classes, how funny. well... let me tr and explain best i know how. people interpret information in different ways. some are visual (like your boyfriend), some are kinetic, and some are auditory. your boyfriend looks over, sees you not smiling, and interprets is as something is wrong. thereforeeee, he wants you to smile constantly as a way to reassure him that everything is ok with you.

 

This is true, however... have you ever smiled for 10 minutes straight? Or laughed for that long?

HURTS!

Unless you have face muscles designed to smile 24/7... it hurts so BAD! Augh!

 

Just my 2 cents...

[Lil_T]

i dated a guy too that was so paraniod if i wasnt smiling that something was wrong it was a huge deal.. if ever i wasnt hed alwyas say whats wrong did i do something why arent you happy ect it PISSED ME OFF in the end i told him and he got cut we ended up breaking up and to this day are still close friends just couldnt handle him saying it 24/7

[bitbit]

This is true, however... have you ever smiled for 10 minutes straight? Or laughed for that long?

HURTS!

Unless you have face muscles designed to smile 24/7... it hurts so BAD! Augh!

 

Just my 2 cents...

 

i never said it was right... i think it's selfish and more insecurity on his part than anything else. i'm a natural smiler tho

[wexmen]

it could be someone playing in his mind who are always have a smiling face , it could be his ex or someone he could never get along with , such as a movie star .you may try to find out why he is so concerned about it .

 

you should tell him that smiling need motivation and it does not request a command like he did to you ,the most important thing is what motivate a person to smile , it could be a jokes told by a guy to a girl to make her feel that he is care for her bad mood .

 

wish you happy and smile often not by command but by sweet words from him .

[xprincessbugx]

I'd just tell him to stfu

[bitbit]

hey uhh xprincessbugx, i think maybe it's time to change your avatar pic. fed-ex is out.

[itsallgrand]

Turn it into a joke.

 

Every time he says it, beat him to the punch. "Smile" "Smile" "Smile".

Give it back to him in exaggerated form.

 

Constantly tell him to "Smile".

 

He *might* start seeing how silly it is, and how annoying it can get. Just keep it lighthearted.

[sweetheart21]

See, I'm actually getting annoyed for you!

Thank you! I'm so glad other people are as annoyed as I am about it. I'm going to say something to him. I'm not sure what exactly, maybe something like...

Have you told him to stop telling you that and to accept you as you are?

...cuz I dont want to change just because he tells me to.

Welcome To The Dark Side, baby!

ha ha thanx!

 

 

 

.