Spanking a children as discipline isn't considered abuse!

[blush]

I'm working towards my Sociology degree and i'm doing a term paper on Wheather "Spanking a children as discipline isn't considered abuse" it was a topic giv'in to me so I have to write on it ( no matter if I agree or not with it )

 

Just wanna get a gereral idea of what you all think!

How do you feel about spanking?

Some people say that spanking is child abuse.

Other people say that spanking is necessary.

 

And Yes there are the people that also do take it a step more and it is considered abuse to a child!

 

Blush

[robowarrior]

I think its better to copy the results of reliable studies already maby on this topic.

 

link removed

[Iceman26]

I got spanked as a child. I also didn't get spanked unless I did something wrong. After I was spanked, I made darn sure I didn't spanked for the same thing twice.

[blush]

and its not considered abuse right?

 

Just a form of discipline!

[itsallgrand]

I think spanking doesn't necessarily always equal abuse. That's not to say that it is necessary.

 

Iceman made a good point.

 

You can build a solid argument for spanking, and against. I tend towards the middle path. Which is to say, I think there are certain circumstances where a non-abusive spank can be useful.

 

There are so many factors to consider. The overall relationship of the child and parent. The circumstances. Whether the spanking is used strictly for teaching the child important messages (an example I think of is a child who continually puts himself at risk even after other methods have been tried - going to touch something that will burn him for example, or wandering into a busy street, just as suggested scenarios).

 

Obviously, this is a touchy issue.

 

Just for the record, yes, I was spanked..and hit..and lashed..as a kid, and it was abusive.

Children should never be hit out of anger, reaction, ignorance, for 'punishment' IMO.

The only time I can see spanking being useful is in matters of pure physical safety. That's just me.

 

And yet, it still drives me crazy to see knee-jerk manipulative crying-wolf reactors who yell "Child Abuse" at the first sight or mention of spanking.

 

It is NOT clear cut, it is situation by situation I believe.

[Daligal83]

The answer would depend on the state and county you are in. Each state has different definitions of abuse. Usually it's something like if you can see a bruise, then it's abuse. Mild spanking usually isn't considered abuse, but if you start whipping the kid's tush with a belt it's a different story.

 

In my personal opinion, I don't like spanking. I was never spanked as a kid and I never got in trouble. I was definitely the "good kid" growing up. Many people tell me that they were spanked and find nothing wrong with it, but I just can't support the message it sends. To me, it sends the message that it's ok to solve problems in a way that has a physical and potentially violent undertone. I'd rather use positive reinforcements and take away priviledges. I don't put down people who do spank their kids (as long as it's not excessive), but my kids will not be spanked.

[Meow18]

I was spanked as a child. I grew up fine. Of course, an hour after I was spanked, my dad would come and talk to me about it after we all settled down.

 

But I still think there are better ways to discipline a child. I think that a child needs to know why they are being disciplined. So, just picking a child up and spanking them and then leaving it at that will never help them learn anything.

 

Physical punishment can send mixed signals to a child I think. Because even though they did wrong, they are learning from their parents that getting physical can be ok if it's to punish someone else- when in reality, it's NEVER ok to hit another person.

[agent1607307371]

I was spanked. I was also put on the stairs and told I was being sent to the childrens home.

 

I know which one did me the least damage.

[darkblue]

The legalities of it, in the UK at least, are that it is legal so long as it does not leave marking or visable bruising.

[musicguy]

I was spanked as a kid too. I'm fine. I don't think that spanking your child is abuse. I mean there are otherr forms of discipline, it's all the parent or guardian's choice on what form of discipline they should use..BUT punching or kicking a child is obviously not a form of discipline. Anywho, in my opinion spanking is not abuse.

[blush]

I admit I wasn't no angel when growing up, I was spanked as a youngster, I was out to dinner with my friends this afternoon and 1 said they were spanked, and the other two said they were sent to there rooms when they got in trouble, to me that don't justify discipline in my eye's cause you have toys to play with there, its like happyland ( parnets are telling them to play rather then deal with the problem of when they get in trouble)

[Aurian]

I was also spanked. In my opinion, spanking is abuse if:

 

- it is done when the parent is out of control (extremely angry for example).

- it is done without a clear warning and reason (for example, if the child is spanked without either, then how does it know why it is being punished? However, if a child is warned to stop doing something, and continues anyways, then a spanking is warranted)

- it is done with excessive force, hurting the child, bruising or worse. A spanking should only sting for a few seconds, no more.

- Spanking should only be done with an open palm. Fists, punches, kicks are abuse.

[yeawutever]

Abuse would be if it's overly done enough to actually leave welts or bruises, also if you're only doing it out of anger/frustration and not as your disciplinary too, then it's also abuse. Much not of a history of spanking, at least it didn't happen with me after age 6 or 7, that was the end. After that, my punishment would be no t.v., basically some provileges taken away.

 

Even so, I'm not so in favor of spanking, I would go for either time outs or taking away privileges, but lol, what I'm I talking about when I don't have that much patience with my little brother who never listens to me.

[AwdreeHpburn]

I personally consider it abuse. It seems a strange form of discipline - striking someone. Especially someone so much littler than you.

 

But I also know that is excuses responsiblity as it teaches the child punishment rather than how to correct their behaviour or take responsibility for their action and make them fix it.

 

I'm personally more for making the punishment fit the crime. Spanking hardly seems appropriate for much that I can think of....

 

...course, it's prolly just me.

[Daligal83]

I totally agree with you Ta ree saw

[spunkmaster]

I was spanked when I was a kid, and like Iceman, I made DARN SURE it didn't happen twice! The thing was, my parents had (still have with the grandkids actually) a policy. What they do is when the child is in trouble, turn them around, swat them 3 times on the behind with an OPEN hand, then turn the child around and explain to them why they were spanked. Then they have to go sit in a designated place for *insert however many minutes here* until they have calmed down. It always seems to work well.

 

I was raised to believe that you define abuse by whether you hit the child with an open or closed hand. Open= teaching a lesson, closed fist=abuse.

[avman]

Personally I do not believe in spanking. I don't see how you correct a child's behavior by striking them. There is nothing my children have done which strong words, time outs, and removal of privileges haven't taken care of. I don't want them to do something because they are afraid of me or afraid I'll hit them. I want them to do it because it is the right thing to do.

[melrich]

I agree with avman.

 

You can scare a child into obedience or you can educate them. We do not spank our children but we spend a lot of time with them talking about right, wrong and consequences. They are beautifully behaved kids.

 

No doubt spanking is the short and sweet way of disciplining a child and it probably is done as much as a pressure release for the parent but I struggle with the idea of a 150 pound plus adult hitting a little toddler.

 

Ultimately I look at this way, I wouldn't belt one of my peers if they did something I considered wrong so why would I belt a little person?

 

(I was occasionally spanked as a child and don't think it did me any harm, like others have said, but there will always be one kid in maybe hundred that it will make timid and fearful and retaliatory or another kid in a hundred who learns violence as the way out of problems and you never know which kid that will be.)

[Fallout]

Hmm I just have a question curious about something...it's adressed to those people that were spank past the age of let's say 10...

 

Are you close with your parents now? I mean do you share your life, your feelings with them?

[blush]

Yes, i'm very close with my parents, very open, to whats happening with me, how i feel and so on!

[Iceman26]

Hmm I just have a question curious about something...it's adressed to those people that were spank past the age of let's say 10...

 

Are you close with your parents now? I mean do you share your life, your feelings with them?

 

I was really too big to be spanked after the age of 10, but my mom would pull my hair or slap me every once in a while if I was talking back too much.

 

I understand that when I was smacked (not often, because I was a pretty good kid) I deserved it. She was never excessive in her punishment.

[yeawutever]

I was really too big to be spanked after the age of 10, but my mom would pull my hair or slap me every once in a while if I was talking back too much.

 

I understand that when I was smacked (not often, because I was a pretty good kid) I deserved it. She was never excessive in her punishment.

 

Slapping and hair pulling would be considered abuse.

[Iceman26]

Slapping and hair pulling would be considered abuse.

 

Nearly everything in this day and age is considered abuse. 15 to 20 years ago it wasn't.

[ImThatGirl]

I barely received any type of punishment as a child or teenager.

 

No spankings. No time outs. No explanations. Just a "don't do it again." My mother felt (and feels now with grandchildren,) that life lessons should be enough.

 

You play with fire, you get burned.

 

Hmmp! I think I probably should have had at least a few spankings growing up.

 

With that said, I think that all kids need to be held accountable for their actions and different forms of discipline may or may not work for each child.

 

One of my wise co-workers says "If you don't put fear in your child, you child will put fear in you later." I don't feel that a child should be fearful of their parents but they must know that their actions will have consequences and that they must respect elders.

[yeawutever]

Hmm I just have a question curious about something...it's adressed to those people that were spank past the age of let's say 10...

 

Are you close with your parents now? I mean do you share your life, your feelings with them?

 

LOL, there was this article I once read about a girl at age 15 getting spanked with belt hard enough to leave bruises but she states she loves her parents. This is the link which the article is found