Enotalone dating

[LimeGreen]

I read in other posts how it is highly discouraged but I have also read that it happens.

 

I am just wondering if those who have dated or found each other through Enotalone, how was your relationship? Are you still or no longer together?

 

I asked because I am started to take a liking to someone from here but unsure of how to approach this because I have never done online dating before.

 

Do I just message her and get to know her or what?

[LimeGreen]

Okay, I get it now. This topic is taboo.

[doyathink]

It is discouraged here because most ppl on this forum are hurting in one way or another and arent looking for a 'new' relationship. However,this happens here, not too often but I dont think any of them that I know of are still in bliss (give or take...ONE)

 

But, I would say, if your interested in someone, pm them. They will let you know right off the bat if they are interested or not....does that help?

[shes2smart]

Before you do anything, I'd strongly suggest you think about the nature of this website.

 

Many of the folks who post here seeking advice are in varying stages of recovery from relationships gone bad in one way or another. They are what I call the "walking wounded," and, as such, they are not really in a good position to create a healthy relationship. Since I do not know which member you are talking about (nor do I want to know), I don't know the specific details that brought her to the site, etc...but I'd urge you to evaluate her situation AND your own as objectively as possible, and try to honestly figure out if you are both in any sort of condition to be able to create a healthy relationship at this particular point in time.

 

In the year I've been on the RM team, I've seen a few enot relationships crash & burn...some in a most spectacular (read: messy) fashion. If I was single, I wouldn't be lookin' to meet a potential romantic partner on here...too much of a risk of hooking up with one of those "walking wounded." To me, it'd be like looking for food in the dumpster behind the grocery store instead of going into the store itself...I might find something good out back...but I'm more likely to find stuff that's not really fit for my purposes.

 

'Course, that's just what I'd do. While using the site as a dating site is strongly discouraged, people will tend to do whatever they feel is right for them at the time.

[quietgrl]

I agree with shes2smart

[Lady Bugg]

So fess up Lime...who is it????

[LimeGreen]

Thank you all very much for your responses. I do understand that most who come on here are in a very vulnerable stage in their lives and they can become prey to online predators. I hope I do not come off as one.

 

I have not thoroughly scope out why my interest comes on Enotalone but I was intrigued by a posting she did about her late father. I was just floored to read how loving she is as a daughter. I really like to just get to know her first but I am a shy person and I just do not know how to go about not offending her yet at the same time want her to know that I like her (not in a romantic way, not yet anyway) and if we can be friends.

[shes2smart]

Thank you all very much for your responses. I do understand that most who come on here are in a very vulnerable stage in their lives and they can become prey to online predators. I hope I do not come off as one.

 

I have not thoroughly scope out why my interest comes on Enotalone but I was intrigued by a posting she did about her late father. I was just floored to read how loving she is as a daughter. I really like to just get to know her first but I am a shy person and I just do not know how to go about not offending her yet at the same time want her to know that I like her (not in a romantic way) and if we can be friends.

 

I got the impression from your intial post that there were more romantic-type intentions than that.

 

If you just want to PM someone to say you liked what they wrote or empathize with their situation, fire away. Nothin' wrong with that.

 

If my own experience here is typical, there are plenty of folks who PM back and forth with each other and strike up online friendships through the site and that's not a problem. Going beyond a friendship is where it gets dicey, and that's what you need to be careful about.

[LimeGreen]

shes2smart, I edited my post. I would like to get to know her as a friend first then see if we have anything to further connect.

 

I think I am crazy! And am I a stalker if I refreshed my page every ten seconds just to see if she is logged on? I read her entries and she is so articulate, so fluid with her words.

 

K, I just did a quick search on her earliest posts. She came on her because she had a bad break up. And simply for that, now I am unsure if she is ready to receive me. I am a coward to say the least and bit scared of rejection. I do not even have the audacity to message her. If I do, will she welcome me or deny me?

[LimeGreen]

Lady Bugg, it could be you!

[Lady Bugg]

LOL...............Hmmmm true........only I didn't post about losing my father.That takes me out of the equation Ahh well.....

[LimeGreen]

You did not? Oh well my bad.

 

Hey, I bet you get hit on by men all the time.

[Lady Bugg]

I do ok..... LOL

[chai714]

I read in other posts how it is highly discouraged but I have also read that it happens.

 

I am just wondering if those who have dated or found each other through Enotalone, how was your relationship? Are you still or no longer together?

 

I asked because I am started to take a liking to someone from here but unsure of how to approach this because I have never done online dating before.

 

Do I just message her and get to know her or what?

 

The fact of the matter (most people might not like this) is that most relationships don't work out. Think of all the relationships one has before getting married - they didn't work out, right? Not all is lost though. Your experiences have shaped your character, knowledge of how people work, and have hopefully made you aware of your own behaviors.

 

I have heard of people seeing each other from eNotalone and from other websites too. Shes2Smart brought up a very good and valid point why you might want to carefully evaluate dating someone from this website.

 

My personal opinion is that dating someone from this site or any other website is the same - people are just as likely to be "hurt," "damaged," or not emotionally prepared to date from this website, as any another website, or even in real life. I believe the people that visit eNotalone give a good overall representation of the world population but more specifically North America. So, with that being said I think it's just as safe seeing someone from this website as it is anywhere - talk, observe, analyze, draw conclusions.

 

Good luck with whomever you're seeking.

[MrKadash]

My personal opinion is that dating someone from this site or any other website is the same - people are just as likely to be "hurt," "damaged," or not emotionally prepared to date from this website, as any another website, or even in real life. I believe the people that visit eNotalone give a good overall representation of the world population but more specifically North America. So, with that being said I think it's just as safe seeing someone from this website as it is anywhere - talk, observe, analyze, draw conclusions.

 

Good luck with whomever you're seeking.

 

 

Good paragraph, I was thinking the same thing. Although I would never consider dating anyone here, I don't see any reason why a respectful PM is out of the question or "Taboo."

[quietgrl]

shes2smart, I edited my post. I would like to get to know her as a friend first then see if we have anything to further connect.

 

I think I am crazy! And am I a stalker if I refreshed my page every ten seconds just to see if she is logged on? I read her entries and she is so articulate, so fluid with her words.

 

K, I just did a quick search on her earliest posts. She came on her because she had a bad break up. And simply for that, now I am unsure if she is ready to receive me. I am a coward to say the least and bit scared of rejection. I do not even have the audacity to message her. If I do, will she welcome me or deny me?

 

Lime just because a person sound Articulate or use fluid words doesn't mean the person doesn't have issue. I would start out very slow.

[Batya33]

When I did on line dating I had in my profile "I date people, not profiles." Be very careful about getting seduced by typing, iming, emailing, and even phone conversations. They have little to do with real life interactions when it comes to a romantic relationship and often cause a real life relationship to crash and burn quickly because of raised and unrealistic expectations based on lengthy typing and talking before meeting.

[renaissancewoman101]

I dont think it is a good idea to date from here because if it doesnt work out, then where are we going to go for solace if the OP is also on here.

 

Making friends from here, now that's a GOOD thing.

[vandgsmom]

^ Good point Ren...

 

Coming from experience (and EVERYONE here knows what I am talking about) I would say that it is taboo, but it isn't highly encouraged. People come here to fix something that is broken, so most of us that you see here are patched up in places and limping slightly, but working on healing.

 

I would NEVER tell you not to follow your heart. Life is too short for that. I don't care how badly I hurt right now, or how unlikely love looks from this perspective; I am willing to keep on giving myself over to the chance of perfection than to give up because of one bad experience.. Hopefully whomever it is feels like that also.

 

Be respectful of her needs, be careful with her heart, and be truthful about your intentions with her. Other than that, I wish you luck and hope that you remember to tread lightly around here because we are all fragile somewhere...

 

Laura