what's your ideal marriage age?

[saint_saul]

Whenever I think about getting married, I imagine myself to be at least 27+ -- probably because I picture the big, classic "white wedding" scene. Since I won't likely be financially secure or career satisfied before this (it's possible, though), this seems to be a pretty reasonable age -- but who knows. What about everyone else? If you aren't married, what age do you see yourself getting married? And, if you are, what age did you tie the knot? Was that a good choice?

[applepie]

NEVER for me. The majority of people in my family who have gotten married have also gotten divorced (some particularly nasty). Those that have stayed together are miserable and have cheated endlessly. I don't have any faith in the marriage system for me personally. I would be happy to live in a defacto type relationship, but I have no desire to have the wedding and the marriage certificate.

 

If I were to meet someone who I loved and he desperately wanted to get married, I might consider it if it was unofficial.

[mike_chppr]

Get married when you fall in love, recognize that your partner has issues and has exposed them to you, you have issues and exposed them to them, and both of you decide that these issues are something that you can spend the rest of your lives with, so age....

 

DOESN'T MATTER

 

is what matters is your emotional personhood to be able to determin what your issues in life are and how to express them to another human being. and their capacity to do the same.

[rocio]

Probably around 65. Just in time for retirement.

[saint_saul]

Mike, although I agree that being able to express, be exposed, and still love someone is good grounds for staying together, don't you think that some ages might be more suitable than others when it comes to marriage? I'm very career-driven, and as much as I love/could love another, I want to be happy and independent before married (not TOO independent obviously).

[Scout]

Well, I'm 37 and have never married. It could happen anytime, I guess, but who knows? Maybe I never will.

 

In terms of a general age people should be married, I'm not entirely sure...but I would think when both people have reached pretty mature levels of emotional intelligence. For some of us, that can come in a little later rather than sooner in life!

[rose2summer]

I envision at 29-30, as it would be the most opportune time in my life or at age 32.

 

Now I just need the guy, lol.

[FCTex]

I'm shooting to try and get it settled down by 26..

 

Finances are a major aspect of that, too. I know I'll be financially secure by then..

 

Not to mention, if I choose to have a kid, I'd like to have them before I'm 30.. I don't want to be 50 years old when my 1st child isn't even old enough to have a drink with his old man.

 

But I don't think anyone can really CHOOSE an age. Mainly because you have to be in a relationship with someone at that age that you really feel you'd like to marry..

 

 

As crappy as it sounds. I'd be content to just have a girlfriend forever, and have MY child. But this day in age, I'd be taken for a legal ride with child support if I were to do that.

[Hope75]

As soon as he asks me!

 

That would seem like the most ideal time!

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

My age is 21. I have the guy, and it'll fit in with his ideal of being with someone for 3+ years before marrying them...so look out for your invites in 2009!

[RayKay]

Just my $0.02 but I think having a "ideal time" is really defeating the purpose, you just get married when it is the RIGHT time, with the RIGHT person.

 

I think as you get older and more mature, you tend to be more prepared for what marriage truly is, and be better at knowing what a prospective partner brings to the table...but I see so many people so determined to get married at the "ideal age" they make wrong choices.

 

I have the right partner, and am at the right time in my life, so I would be ready anytime. But, I am the opposite, I do NOT want the big white wedding at ALL. I just want something simple, sweet and short with my close family (and his too of course) and only best of friends. After having seen so many people go through the stress of a big wedding....I know it is NOT for me, and not what it is about for me.

 

I really believe that in healthy relationships you already are "married" long before you walk down the aisle in your heart and mind, and the ceremony for me is just a day to share with close family & friends.

 

For me though, I know I would NOT have been ready for marriage in my early 20's even though I may have "thought" I was, I have learned so much more about myself, relationships, partnership, the world since then...I really was not ready then.

[shikashika]

i would like to get married one day... if I meet the right person.

 

I think by putting an age limit onn it people may end up marrying the person who they are with at that ag rather than waiting for the right person.

 

Most of my friends are not married and they are into their 30s.

 

sure it can be 'right' but personally i'm very dubious of marriages under 26... I think how much we change in our twenties..

 

Sure we all have grandparents who got married really young and are still married now, but things are different now.

[Daligal83]

I don't have a set age I want to be married at. I just want to be married and have my first kid by the time I'm 30. Other than that, I'm not too picky.

 

I agree with RayKay. I do not want a big wedding at all. I joke around that I want a small ceremony and then a barbeque afterwards where I can change into a sundress. Unfortunately, it's been pointed out to me that between my family and my boyfriend's family...we probably know the majority of the Jewish community in our hometown...so that won't be a possibility. Plus we have decent size families...so I'll just have to suck it up.

[adideas]

It really doesn't matter because whatever your GRAND PLAN is with it's timing, it doesn't usually match God's plan. So relax and let it happen when it's supposed to happen.

[skyjuice]

Hi

 

I would like a small and simple wedding as well. I would prefer low profile. While my friends wants grand wedding.

 

I hope I will find the right person...

[luvursmile]

Got married at 20, still married 10 years later.

[Its_B]

Its not so much what age Im married by, its when I would like to have children. My ideal age for kids would be around 25 or 26, and I would like to be married for about a year before getting pregnant.

[turqoise]

When I was ten I thought that 14 was a good age to get a boyfriend.

When I was 18 I thought 26 or 27 would be a great age to get married.

 

I think subconsciously I thought that by then I would have achieved independently enough to want to go through life with someone else (job, backpacking, circle of friends).

 

And I`m with most of y`all on the small wedding thing. I`d love a cosy wedding in a garden, or somewhere like among tussock hills in autumn..mmm.

[Newo Ikkin]

Personally, I would like to be married by 21/22.

I'm so tired of hearing thats too young.

And that I'm too young.

And that I "don't need to worry about that right now".

 

When you know, you know.

[QueenoftheMotN]

When I was 16 I thought 21 would be a good age to get married. I'm 20 now and I'm thinking, "but wait, I've got so much stuff to do!" I want to marry the guy i'm with right now.. we probably will.. but probably not until I'm 23 and he's 24.. I comPLETEly agree with RayKay. We've been together for over a year.. and frankly.. we've been feeling married for about 6 months.. in that Best-friend, I'm-committed-to-us, and sharing-everything kinda way..

 

Queenie!

[scarew]

If you would have asked me 2 years ago I said never. I had seen too much divorce and heartache in my family. Even though I was in a long term relationship, I wanted to be the single crazy cat lady when I was old. Of course, I met the right guy and now we are having a baby. We are common law, but will be getting married soon the traditional way. I think marraige is something you should discuss with your partner. I am not really for the whole, "I wonder when he is going to ask me" thing. It's just my opinion. I think marraige is a gradual concept and feeling between two people that may or may not involve a white wedding along the way. The element of surprise sets up excitement, and probably room for divorce. I see young married couples getting into debates about whether or not to have kids. I think to myself, "how the heck could you have got married without discussing something that important?". They probably got married the old fashioned way. Never mentioning the M word until one day he pops the question with a big diamond ring and they are so busy planning the wedding they forget about the strings that come with it. I hope to be married at 22 or 23, and that is old enough for me. I have lived, partied, travelled and taken my fill independency. There sure are alot of 22-23 year olds I cannot see getting married though woooooooh!

[MissyM]

I always thought i would be married at 23 or 24 then be ready for babies at 27. Well I'm 27 now and still not even engaged. I'm not quite ready for babies yet, but I am sooooo ready for marriage.

[silky88]

i'm 25, and for me it will be when i finish college. i'll be 26 or 27. i already have the right guy, and we've talked about marriage and kids. we decided that 3 years from now (i'll be 28, he'll be 31) is the right time to start trying for children -- that way i'll have my degrees, we'll both be more mature (and we'll have quit smoking!!!) and hopefully have a house to live in.

 

i have known very few people whose marriages have lasted (other than my guy's parents, and a couple of my aunts) so i am wary of marrying before i have myself a little more figured out and am way more financially stable. right now i'm a broke student with bad credit and a drinking habit, not exactly marriage material, lol.

 

but we're totally in love, and we know it will happen eventually. no rush, we've only been dating for 11 months!

[PhilliesFan001]

For me, I always wanted to get married young; 23 and maybe have kids at 25. Though now I'm starting to think that maybe that would be too early. I feel bad for my boyfriend too...if we're still together by then, I'll be 23 and he'll be 30, and I'm afraid he may not want to wait around until his thirties for that.

[Corvette]

I would say 30 for a man