JeremyPink Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Hi all, Please advise, as I am going nuts! I went out with a girl, who ended up sleeping with my housemate at the time. This is going back a year or so ago. However, this housemate was my best mate until this happened, and as my best mate, he told me some deep secrets which I am dying to tell my ex as they are now living together and enjoying their happy lives. He told me in the deepest confidence, that he has slept with several prostitutes while he went out with his old girlfriend (who he broke up with to go out with my ex). I still, after a year feel betrayed by both and am so tempted to just tell a friend of hers, for her to then pass on the gossip. I admit, this is completely selfish, and in fact, I have moved on and am enjoying being single - but knowing this piece of info is ni ggling away at me!! Heeelp! Thanks Link to comment
chai714 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Write this down in your journal and keep it locked away. Other peoples demise won't make you feel any better about yourself. Link to comment
JeremyPink Posted October 20, 2006 Author Share Posted October 20, 2006 I agree - but it is sooo tempting! Link to comment
shikashika Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 exatly... you will do NO ONE any favours by opening your mouth Link to comment
confused25 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Wow . . . this is a tough one! But if I were you, I'd just keep my mouth shut. I would only say something if I were still friends with the ex . . . but since you guys are not anyway, I'd say just let them be. I don't think you want to get yourself into all this drama . . . just move on and focus on other things. But I hope your ex asked your housemate to get tested before they have unprotected sex! Link to comment
justpaisley Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Who do you think she's more likely to believe? You, the jilted ex-boyfriend, or her current boyfriend, with whom she's living a happy life? Also, how do you know that he hasn't already told her this stuff? Either way, you wind up looking silly. The best revenge is living well. Don't let them continue to eat away at your spirit. Forget about them both, they're not worth your energy. Link to comment
rocio Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 It might make you feel better. What they did wasn't cool. There's nothing wrong with them getting together, but she should have ended the relationship with you before starting anything with him. My question is: who are you really angry at? Shouldn't you be more angry at the girl, since she was the one sleeping around? I'd sit down and plot a better, more creative revenge. Telling them this will only make you look like you haven't moved on and are obsessing. Link to comment
shikashika Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Why would you say anything.... its in the past... let it stay there... if he chooses to tell her or not to tell her thats up to him Link to comment
DaDancingPsych Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I only see this coming back to bite you in the... backside! There's no positive outcome for you, as it's extremely doubtful that she's going to learn this information and distrupt their relationship. As a previous poster as said, who's she going to believe? Do yourself a favor and stay out of the drama. Take the high road and know that you are a better person for keeping the secret that you promised to keep. Focus on the opportunities that you have now for better relationships! Link to comment
annie24 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Who do you think she's more likely to believe? You, the jilted ex-boyfriend, or her current boyfriend, with whom she's living a happy life? Also, how do you know that he hasn't already told her this stuff? Either way, you wind up looking silly. The best revenge is living well. Don't let them continue to eat away at your spirit. Forget about them both, they're not worth your energy. oh I agree completely. she will believe her boyfriend, not the bitter ex. I agree with chai, write it down in your journal, and forget about it. you just focus on your own life, I also believe that the best revenge is living well. before Oprah made it big, some ex-boyfriend of hers told her, "you know what your problem is, baby-doll? you think you're special." She told this story to the entire audience, and they all cracked up laughing. somewhere out there, this ex-boyfriend feels really dumb right now and is probably kicking himself. I definitely think the best revenge is living well. Link to comment
Scout Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 All I will say is that if you were the kind of person who could do such a thing and not feel the slightest bit of guilt afterwards, you wouldn't have posted the question on a forum like this. I don't think doing this would be in line with your character. Sounds like you mostly have integrity. Don't go there, friend. No matter how much someone has hurt you, if you stoop to a petty level to retaliate, it leaves a really bad taste in your mouth. Link to comment
Beec Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I will echo responses above. What good can come of you telling? Think about that? What good? And if no good can come of it, why do it? Moreover, what does it say about you if you do tell? I understnad the urge to get revenge, bring someone down, etc., but it is not a good urge, and you should not give in to it. The right thing to do is hope for the best for them, even if they betrayed you, but that is much easier said than done, and I won't claim to have always done it, far from that at one time. Link to comment
Scout Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Also, let's face it...it's simply your word against his. Since she's living with him and happy...do you really think she won't talk herself into believing his side of the story? Or, if he comes clean, stay with him anyway? Either way, you'll look like the bad guy. Not him. Link to comment
Scout Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 oops, I see that other wise posters already pointed out the above. Link to comment
majord23 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 I agree with everyone here - keep quiet. Having said that, I know that if I was in your shoes I would probably have to cut out my tongue to stop myself... Put your faith in the fact that their betrayal *will* come back at them in some way down the line. Link to comment
ImThatGirl Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 The title of this thread says it all. "Something that could destroy the ex." Move on with your life and stop being concerned with hers. You know, it'd be different if you were genuinely concerned about her well being but you just want to hurt her - get the last jab. Get over it. Link to comment
chai714 Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Put that energy into other women, the gym, or both. But not your ex. Link to comment
Scout Posted October 20, 2006 Share Posted October 20, 2006 Get over it. Yeah, ditto that. It's time to move on, friend. Link to comment
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