hosswhispra Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 My steel armor, strength and life experience has effectively worked against me in the "love" department. Men don't know what to do, think, say or make of me. I've gotten several permutations of this from the guys I have dated. Me too...I can relate. Link to comment
WorkNProgress Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 Hmmm, it is interesting that this article comes from link removed, the home of the serial daters. I feel that yes it is easier being single but isnt that just common knowledge? You have your own time, own space, own everything. When you are with someone there are miscommunications, compromise, and weird qwirks. Although I am in with Hosswhispra I look forward to being with someone. I look forward to the journey along the road of life with someone. Some people would rather travel it alone and they can. Others like myself would rather share the journey. I don't think we can discount someones preference. Neither is right or wrong. Link to comment
FortunateOne Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 Single or not, happiness is what you make of it. I stay single and hardly date because I look for mentally healthy people to date, which is becoming a scarcity. I think the study should be done on the mental health status of these people before going into these detailed life state of actions. Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 good food for thought and might serve as a nice pick-me-up for those struggling with being alone or trying to find someone... Why would you consider "being alone" a struggle? I think being in a relationship is more of a struggle actually... "Trying to find someone"... I think I've never believed in that... What's with this super popular idea that life is better when you are with someone in a relationship or something like that? Life can be as good when you're on your own... I had seen that article before, and it does make a lot of sense. What I find kind of sad is that many many people need to realize all of this for the first time, because they live with this idea that life is automatically happier and brighter and better once you are in a relationship or you think you've found "the one"... Gosh... is like using Hollywood romantic movies as your bible and guiding star... Link to comment
TheRedQueen Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 What exactly do they tell you about your life experiences that has worked against you? That's definitely interesting to say the least, I mean maybe not moreso than frisco's PMSing, but I am intrigued! Depending on how much I choose to reveal about my past, most guys usually don't know what to say because they don't relate to, or understand what having these past experiences would feel like or entail. So yeah, their reactions consist of them either looking at my lips, staring at my ***s or Link to comment
Gold Hawk Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 I'm skeptical about so called "studies show/experts say..." but the article in this link has some good food for thought and might serve as a nice pick-me-up for those struggling with being alone or trying to find someone... Love it thanks. I'm ok or bettter off.. Single. LOL. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 I think the article may be more true for many women than men - simply bc so many women stuff themself to lowest place in a relationship/marriage. Total generality there. oh well. Link to comment
FortunateOne Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 I say don't let happiness be skewed by a self interest study that benefits the agents providing the study to the masses. A healthy single life or married life is predicated on the observers point of view on what it is to maintain a healthy identity. Link to comment
Juha Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 Great post Frisco....I myself have been through so much and have learned so much that now I know what I want and will not settle... Have been with to many people who are needy and can't have a life of their own... WHy is it that so many people feel they need to have someone? Anyone... I have been to the top and have fallen, I am now building my self and my life back up again... Changing careers and jsut enjoying life. Meanwhile I get do you have a g.f.? Why don't you have a g.f.? I can't be like alot of my friends that the relationship rules my life. I can't do it... Or be married because it's a good fit and then go out with the guys and pick up women. How many times have I been asked to store a girls number for my friend so it won't be in his phone... I am not like that and will never be with anyone just to be with someone... I guess I am toughened by life's lessons now and more cautious with and protective of myself than before... Link to comment
rose2summer Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 Well, I think the point of the article is to not settle for less than you deserve. A relationship with the right person can be the most beautiful, exciting, and sacred experience ever, but you must search, search, and search and screen to find that. My interpretation is have fun when you are single, enjoy yourself, get to know who you are, and when the right person comes along they will be a wonderful addition, and not a means to pull you down or make you less happy than you were single. With me personally, I have been happier single, because I have yet to find someone who can wooo me over and show me what true love is, isn't selfish, needy, or manipulative, and I am a strong believer that I will get that sometime in my future, because good things come to good people, and I am excited about it, but in no rush. Hugs, Rose Link to comment
Dako Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 Lifetime happy singles who find a good marriage inferior remind me of the proud morally superior virgins in our midst. How can you really know if you ain't been? Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted September 24, 2006 Share Posted September 24, 2006 Have been with to many people who are needy and can't have a life of their own... WHy is it that so many people feel they need to have someone? Anyone... Maybe because we are educated like that. We grow up seeing that life as a couple is the best of the best and like one of the main achievements in life. That single people are a little less than losers and that the validation comes from outside. Also, many people is needy by nature and is like they "love" and get involved in relationships to lose themselves, instead of doing it because they know who they are and what they want. And then you get addicted to the other person and... it gets really ugly honestly. Been there, done that. JUHA: I am now building my self and my life back up again... Changing careers and jsut enjoying life. Meanwhile I get do you have a g.f.? Why don't you have a g.f.? I can't be like alot of my friends that the relationship rules my life. I can't do it... I am too! I'm only beginning to put things in perspective and finding out what I want to do with the rest of my life... after losing many years in a relationship that didn't take me anywhere. I can't let a relationship rule my life EVER AGAIN. Huge huge mistake. Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 24, 2006 Author Share Posted September 24, 2006 But despite all of it, I still want to find true love. I wonder what is causing that intrinsic desire within me? I wonder if it could be turned off with some invention from a pharmaceutical company. Something like a 'desiring love blocker'....antagonist that blocks the love receptor?? Wonder if that's possible... Hey Hoss- Sounds like you need to play chicken with the emotional traffic on the dating freeway a little more...get run over a few more times by 18-wheelers and spend some time laying in bed on life support with an IV hooked to your heart...then when you do recover and get to go home, you'll value life on new levels...that'll take care of your "problem" there... Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 24, 2006 Author Share Posted September 24, 2006 Why would you consider "being alone" a struggle? I think being in a relationship is more of a struggle actually... I know plenty of people, in real-life and on this site, who are simply not comfortable being alone and "need" to be with someone. They definitely struggle with this for whatever reason, maybe some of it due to society, maybe somewhat of a self-esteem or self-prespective issue, or maybe they have gotten close to something amazing before and find the desire and resulting struggle through this eniticement. I have been there before in my life... I guess when you stumble accross empty bottles of the Chianti of Love in your life, and can only taste drops here and there, you want to pop the cork on a full bottle and enjoy it with that special someone like it was the last thing on earth... Link to comment
Dako Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 LOL! You're definitely in tune with this love stuff. I'm very impressed by you. Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Lifetime happy singles who find a good marriage inferior remind me of the proud morally superior virgins in our midst. How can you really know if you ain't been? Noone said a good marriage was inferior... Anyways, how can you know? Do you actually have to taste poop to know you'd never be able to eat it? At least I don't. Same thing. Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 I guess when you stumble accross empty bottles of the Chianti of Love in your life, and can only taste drops here and there, you want to pop the cork on a full bottle and enjoy it with that special someone like it was the last thing on earth... FRISCO: Oh, my brother and only droog, seems like you're still looking for a bit of pretty polly - some young devotchka with horrorshow grooties, righty-right? What I mean is... yeah some relationships are fantastic... BUT some people end up totally addicted to that initial rush of infatuation and romance and mojo... So when is over, they feel in some kind of detox, and they try so hard to get that rush again... Yeah, it feels great but is not healthy to live craving badly to have it. Link to comment
Dako Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 I didn't viddy that, since I've been peeting the moloko plus this horrowshow night. Link to comment
WorkNProgress Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 I didn't viddy that, since I've been peeting the moloko plus this horrowshow night. Huh?????????? Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 What I mean is... yeah some relationships are fantastic... BUT some people end up totally addicted to that initial rush of infatuation and romance and mojo... So when is over, they feel in some kind of detox, and they try so hard to get that rush again... Yeah, it feels great but is not healthy to live craving badly to have it. I've certainly gone through this phase before. And those fantastic relationships you mention are the ones I am talking about... Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 LOL! You're definitely in tune with this love stuff. I'm very impressed by you. If you knew the tragically stupid decisions I've made over the years regarding relationships and women, you would not be very impressed and you would be laughing out loud! Thanks for the props though... Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 I guess when you stumble accross empty bottles of the Chianti of Love in your life, and can only taste drops here and there, you want to pop the cork on a full bottle and enjoy it with that special someone like it was the last thing on earth... She's going to be a very lucky one, friscodj. *swoon* ............... I think there is still a lasting judgement for lifetime singles, unfortunately. The old "you can't possibly be happy until you've gotten married at least once". lol. Is it really so hard to imagine that a person could be happy without a commited relationship? Does it show a defect? Link to comment
hosswhispra Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 Hey Hoss- Sounds like you need to play chicken with the emotional traffic on the dating freeway a little more...get run over a few more times by 18-wheelers and spend some time laying in bed on life support with an IV hooked to your heart...then when you do recover and get to go home, you'll value life on new levels...that'll take care of your "problem" there... I already have had my heart crushed and became roadkill. So yeah, I already value life on new levels. But despite all of it, I still believe in love and damn, that's a great thing. Link to comment
friscodj Posted September 25, 2006 Author Share Posted September 25, 2006 But despite all of it, I still believe in love and damn, that's a great thing. Then the truck wasn't big enough! I'm just kidding... I believe in love too and it will happen for you hoss! Link to comment
Baby Carrot Posted September 25, 2006 Share Posted September 25, 2006 "...and enjoy it with that special someone like it was the last thing on earth..." How cool it'd be if you'd just enjoy it by yourself, without worrying if the so called "special someone" appears? Is it really so hard to imagine that a person could be happy without a commited relationship? Yeah, it is hard because that's they way society expect us to feel... 'You can't possibly be really happy unless you've found "the one" - 'You're a loser if you go to the movies by yourself' ... Etc, etc. BULL. AHHHKKK!! Get over the whole Moulin Rouge / Romeo & Juliet philosophy!!! It works great for a musical, not in real life!!!! You might never find the one and even might die single and poor! Get over it! Enjoy life as it is right now! With or without the one! Why keep pretending that someone else out there has what you need to be truly happy? You have the answers to your own prayers. Link to comment
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now