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Is joining a church a good way to take away loneliness

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Last night, after my disastrous date, I drove over to Coronado (about 15 minutes from me over the bridge) and sat on a bench out by the beach, watching planes fly overhead to the Navy base close by. When I am sad and upset, I will either take a long drive out in the country or else sit by the beach.


While I was sitting there, two guys came over to my bench and chatted with me. They were practicing on a guitar and a drum for a religious retreat that was going on down the beach. I listened to them play religious music and it cheered me up a bit and made me want to cry. They were also really sweet people and they didnt prosthelytze to me or anything like that. They were just friendly and sweet.


It made me realize how much I miss doing stuff in a church group. When I was in college I was really involved in church activities (but I got burned a few times over some stupid issues so I stopped doing that). I am not heavily religious but I do believe in God. I also am a baptized Catholic.


After listening to those two guys play religious music on their guitar and just chatting with them, made me realize that I miss being involved in groups like that since I think it would help me take me out of my loneliness and depression.


Do you people think church groups are the way to go?

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If it used to be a big part of your life, then it could be what is missing at the moment. You do not have to be heavily religious, but it may give you a new perspective on life and help you to focus on what is really important to you at this point in your life. It is also a good way to make friends and have discussions on topics that matter to you.


Good Luck, Hk87

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OK, speaking one Catholic to another, it might help. What would really help is have a little faith in God. RW, God's not going to ask you do more than you can handle. The Church is a conduit to God.


But, yes, try some Church groups, if you think they will help.


Also, not too long ago I read a book by C.S. Lewis, which in soem respects blew me away, Mere Christianity. C.S. Lewis delivered a series of lectures over the radio after WWII and turned them into this book. He tries to not take sides between Christian sects, although there is a slight anti-catholic bias, imo. However, it is otherwise a brilliant, logical argument for God. And, then it argues for what we are supposed to do to be "mere" Christians. It's seems very simple, but it really is brilliant.

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Meeting like minded people and enjoying experiences together is a great way to take away loneliness. If you haven't normally gone to church and would like to see if you like it, then by all means, go for it.


But beware strange people that roam the nights with instruments singing kumbaya...

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Heroin is a bad way to fill a void...... church groups.........hmmmm..........


Why not let a void be a void for a bit?


In my experience religious groups find lonely lost people and make them think they've found the way forard. I'm too cynical for that. It can be a part of your life. But I dont believe answers can come from outside. Strength comes from within.


I'm not necessarily found of churches, because people in all of them are corrupt, and that leads followers to sometimes lose faith. But I don't think strength comes from within. I don't think anything comes from within. Socrates once claimed to be the wisest man because he knew he did not really know anything, he was right. I think we are all better off when we realize we are nothing, everything we are and have is on loan to us from God, and taking pride in our having it is illusive. It's not mine, it never was mine, it never will be mine. Instead of hanging onto it, I am much better off to be giving it away.


Enough with my prosthelytizing.

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I'm not religious either, in that I rarely wear it on my sleeve or even talk about it. But, it is one of the factors in what motivates me to do things, including what I write on this forum.


If you think the groups may help, give them a shot.

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I am not really religious but I do believe in God. I just think church groups are easier to deal with because people there seem more open and more willing to reach out. I dont know.


My self-esteem took a small beating yesterday and I am looking for a way to regroup, find a safe haven for a while.


If you believe in God (as do I) Than get back to church. There is something there you are longing for & God is reaching out to you.

it wasn't a conisidence what happened yesterday. everything happens for a reason.

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I think you can really benefit from it, RW. I promised myself to join a Taize community here in my new city. Taize is really open minded, people from all kinds of churches or without any religious background go there. It's a community in France (sort of a oegemenic-- both catholic and protestant). I don't know if they are locally organized in the states, but they are all over Europe. Maybe something to check out? It's really something I feel 'at home' in, the church I was raised in (evangelical) was not for me. But I miss the social bond of a church sometimes.



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RW: Sorry about the date, but at least you got your feet wet...

Church is a nice place to get used to being around people again.

It is a great place to go for some inspiration when you need it, and a haven when your mind feels lost in confusion and your heart in doubt.

If you are religious-minded to begin with, then going back to a familiar comfortable place inside of yourself cannot be a bad thing.

DO NOT however, expect to go and find "the one"... In my moment of depression, at 18 I married the first preachers son my grandparents picked out for me because I had given up on believing that love existed.

I never felt it, I never knew it, and I just thought that if I had to settle at least I would be close to God that way.


I am beginning to understand what it means to love another persons heart and I got Love and God confused.


Go there for friends. Go there to be around people again.

Go there to mend. Go there for inspiration.

Just don't think that going there is going to instantly give you something more. You still have to get out there Ren. You are beautiful, you are strong, and last night will soon fade from memory. You would be depriving the world of an exquisite human being by keeping yourself closeted at home and church alone.


Not that most people would believe it of me; but I do attend church almost every Sunday.

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Ren , I think that is a great idea if you feel the urge to try church again. It could be a refreshing thing for you in my opinion.


Hopefully you will meet some nice new people to be friends with. People that can relate to you and have the compassion to reach out to you with open minds and hearts.


If I were you I would certainly give it a try and see how things go.

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Like you RW I believe in God. But this is a terribly mixed bag for me.


I am a baptized Baptist/Former Christian; and I was rejected and shunned by the Christian religion(namely my family and friends) when I came out about my sexuality. So for me I would NEVER go back to a traditional Christian fundamentalist denomination.


HOWEVER, I remember when I was 17 and suicidal. The first thing I did was join church. At first I thought it was the Holy Spirit that came into me and gave me joy and peace...But, in hindsight, I realized it was the love and acceptance the church members bestowed upon me that aided in my growth. I needed that warmth and companionship. I became heavily involved in church and made friends with alot of people. That background is very warm and inclusive if you believe the way they do...


But since I've stopped going to Baptist church(I'm thinking of doing the Unitarian thing. I believe in God, just not sure which) I attend support groups...And I realize It doesn't have to do with the organization, per say...It just helps to know that there are other people you can connect with. The creator didn't put us here together to be alone. Humans feel better when we connect.


So if going to church does help you I say go for it. Or maybe if you got out and joined other activities as well...


As for me I would like to attend another church. But I refuse to attend a fundamentalist Christian one. I'm starting to think God spoke to me through your post RW. I lost my faith for a while, but now I'm beginning to come back to it...

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I believe in God, but this is a mixed bag for me.


I am a baptized Baptist/Former Christian, and I was rejected and shunned by the Christian religion because I'm gay.


I think it would be more accurate to say you were shunned by the Baptist faction of Christianity, and there are even some liberal Baptist churches that would not have shunned you. Don't think you'll find too many in the South, though. But here in Denver, there is an American Baptist church that appears to be pretty liberal; they even have a woman minister.


And there are many progressive churches within the Christian religion. I was raised Southern Baptist myself, but I have realized that for many reasons, that faction isn't right for me anymore.

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But I don't think strength comes from within. I don't think anything comes from within. Socrates once claimed to be the wisest man because he knew he did not really know anything, he was right. I think we are all better off when we realize we are nothing, everything we are and have is on loan to us from God, and taking pride in our having it is illusive. It's not mine, it never was mine, it never will be mine. Instead of hanging onto it, I am much better off to be giving it away.


Enough with my prosthelytizing.


I agree- I'm all for the whole God thing. Just meant no other person can solve your problems- God is more likely to be in me than in someone else telling me.

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Although...... obviously people's points of view are always valid and helpful!! Or none of us would be here would we? I mean, none of us posting here to spout opinions or force our beliefs on others right? We all first came here for advice.


But that doesnt mean we have to take it, or agree with it. I'm against reverence I guess.

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I am not sure what I want to do just yet.


I may try and see what kind of church groups I can get involved with out here. I start school in a few weeks and I am going to a Catholic university so that should help, I hope.


I do think God was trying to speak to me on Thurs night. It was just so weird. I was sitting on the bench on the beach, watching the waves crash in. The sun was setting and down aways there was a lot of people gathered around eating, talking, chatting (like a big reunion of some sort). These two guys came by my bench with a guitar and drum. They introduced themselves to me, told me that they were from some Baptist university up in LA and they were having a retreat down on the beach. They needed to practice some music and hoped it would not bother me. Then they treated me to a performance of different religious songs. Very nice and touching.

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Ren, when the Great Spirit speaks to you, don't just think about doing something. Do something. Don't be so concerned with whether what you are doing is right because, it will be right... for you... for now. It has already been decided. You're just being shown that it's all there, ready and waiting for you to take advantage of.


The doors open so very slightly for so short a time. You have been asking for guidance as to how to alleviate your loneliness. The people who are on this board are not the only ones that have heard. You have been shown the way. It is a great gift and one not to be idly ignored.


Best wishes for you... good things are in your path if you just allow yourself to follow it.

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