Fisch Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 BAHAHAHAHAHAH that last one rocked. The funniest thing mine ever said (so far mind you, it was only a few weeks ago) was her only explanation after I found out that she was leaving me for a guy she had been hanging out with over the summer. "I was just repressing my feelings for him, I have been in love with him since high school. I dont feel like talking about it" Thats pretty much all she said at the end really... Link to comment
kellbell Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Oh my, The dumbest thing I have ever heard or said to me was from an ex... Him: "I don't want many people knowing about us..." Me: "Why is that." Him: "If things do not work out, I want to be able to keep the peace." The absolute dumbest thing I have ever heard. Thank goodness he is an ex and no, things we NOT peaceful because he could not keep his big mouth shut. Link to comment
lady00 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 "I'm breaking up with you for you...you're too good for me" Link to comment
Silentlyfor Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 This is what she said when we were lost in a forest somewhere when we were hiking AFTER we were found. "Oh honey. I though you were going to break up with me after that." During that whole escapade... I didn't say a gods damn thing. Link to comment
alphonsefa Posted August 17, 2006 Author Share Posted August 17, 2006 OK here's one for the books! Same Ex that left me the answering machine message. This one blew my mind when she said it; I had to pick my jaw up off of the ground! After her first breaking up with me a few days before Thanksgiving, and coming back two weeks later. I bought her a beautiful 24" TV with a built in DVD palyer for Christmas, because hers was crap and all she ever did was watch TV when she got home from work. She bought me some nice gifts too that I could tell she put a lot of thought into. It was a really nice Christmas until, later that night we're laying in bed watching Christmas stories and she starts crying because she was expecting a ring and expecting me to propose to her that night. What???!!! You took off the month before to go back to a guy that abused you and we were only back together for 2 weeks! She definitely fell off that TURNIP truck and must've banged her head real hard because later she actually admitted this to me: We were talking on the phone after this twighlight zone night, and she said to me, "I just wanted a ring so bad. I was looking at them everyday in the mall. I didn't care who gave it to me", meaning me or the fat dirtball that abused her for six years. I said, "DAMN!!!, I can't believe you said that". Her response to me, "hey, at least I'm being honest". She was truly a woman without a soul! Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 She definitely fell off that TURNIP truck and must've banged her head real hard because later she actually admitted this to me: "hey, at least I'm being honest". First rule no stealing someone elses lines. Second that honest quote is awesome! Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 you should have gotten her a ring from a cracker jack box and said, "there! are you happy now?" Link to comment
Aurian Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Roughly: Him: "Your mom is having me followed." Me: "Why do you think that???" Him: "She's from England right? I saw a car with English plates outside my house!" Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 Roughly: Him: "Your mom is having me followed." Me: "Why do you think that???" Him: "She's from England right? I saw a car with English plates outside my house!" Your mom...has the COOLEST car ever! Man, a car that can cross the atlantic and drive all the way accross Canada to Vancouver. I totally want one. Imagine the fun I can have when I say "dude wheres my car?" Could be anywhere in the world right? Link to comment
Past2Future Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 O i have several. but the most recent one was this: I was talking to her on the phone cause she broke up with her bf (her second one after me) well, she strung me a long and made up with him the next night after sleeping with him. Heres the kicker. I told her I had been after her for a year after she broke up with me by her side trying to win her back ( i know no NC kicked me in the butt). She responded to that with, "Well if you asked me to marry you, that would of won me back." .... this is while she has had 2 boyfriends. shes a nutcase. Link to comment
vandgsmom Posted August 17, 2006 Share Posted August 17, 2006 HIM (sitting on couch playing video game): Laura, this is Texas, pregnant women do yard work all the time.... Link to comment
Aurian Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Your mom...has the COOLEST car ever! Man, a car that can cross the atlantic and drive all the way accross Canada to Vancouver. I totally want one. Imagine the fun I can have when I say "dude wheres my car?" Could be anywhere in the world right? One of those would be fun, yes.... Link to comment
Allie. Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 i can't date you because i get the feeling God doesn't want us to be together.... Link to comment
RayKay Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 "I don't want this to give you hope or anything, but I hope you keep that door somewhat open". "I can see us being together NOW, and in the FUTURE, it's like I can see a path of us being together, but there is a bridge in the middle of now and the future that is all fuzzy and washed out...so I think that means we have to break up". He had some other long gems...he liked metaphors. Link to comment
Orlander Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Wow, some of these are truly classics. Here's two of mine from my recent ex: "God told me to break up with you" "I think I'm in love with you...my dad can see it and he thinks I am too." Then, three weeks later she writes me a letter saying "I need to clear something up. I never said I was falling in love you. I said I might be falling in love with you and I wasn't" Charming, huh? Orlander Link to comment
arwen Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 OMG orlando! Didn't you have to laugh a little bit even if it wasn't a fun moment? God? Link to comment
NJRon Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 "I am totally in love with you." "Do you want to go to a blues concert with me in the City?" Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 "I don't want this to give you hope or anything, but I hope you keep that door somewhat open". "I can see us being together NOW, and in the FUTURE, it's like I can see a path of us being together, but there is a bridge in the middle of now and the future that is all fuzzy and washed out...so I think that means we have to break up". He had some other long gems...he liked metaphors. Love the metaphors. Must have made for an interesting relationship. Link to comment
Orlander Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 OMG orlando! Didn't you have to laugh a little bit even if it wasn't a fun moment? God? No, no laughing when I heard that, Ilse. A couple of weeks before that she insisted I accept Jesus Christ as my personal savior else she would break up with me. Do you want to go to a blues concert with me in the City?" Total suckage, Ron. I hope you told her to take a long walk off a short bridge. Orlander Link to comment
brando Posted August 18, 2006 Share Posted August 18, 2006 Tne best part of these gems our ex's one time flung at us are the actions that come soon after. There is what people say, and then there is what people do... two entirely different things most of the time. Or is it just when people are breaking up that this phenomenon occurs. ??? Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 "I don't want this to give you hope or anything, but I hope you keep that door somewhat open". "I can see us being together NOW, and in the FUTURE, it's like I can see a path of us being together, but there is a bridge in the middle of now and the future that is all fuzzy and washed out...so I think that means we have to break up". He had some other long gems...he liked metaphors. LOL! Sounds like he had a big bowl of crazy for breakfast! Link to comment
RayKay Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Annie if you only knew! Yeah tyler and annie....he had some interesting ones. At the time, the pathetic thing is I believed them, and looked at them with hope. Now I just shudder at thought.... Link to comment
annie24 Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Not from an ex... but from a guy I met at a bar and hooked up with He told me he was going to call me, but of course, he didn't (but I didn't care that he didn't call!) Anyways.... 4 months later, I am at a coffee shop, and I realize this guy is staring at me. I'm like, "uh, whatever." He continues to stare, and eventually, comes up to me. He's like, "do you remember me?" I said, "no...." He's like.... remember....? I said, "NOOO....." He's like, "I met you at the bar 4 months ago?" I said, 'oh..... ok..... I guess I remember now." Then he says, "I'm sorry I didn't call you. First I lost my phone, but then I found it, but then I dropped it and all the numbers fell out." And I'm just looking at him dumbfounded. Like, dude, I didn't even remember who you were, and now you feel the need to tell me "the numbers in your phone fell out?" It was hilarious though.... Link to comment
tylercdurden2004 Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 Now I just shudder at thought.... Sometimes its all you can do. However I usually resort to hanging my head and giving it a subtle side-to-side shake. Link to comment
Pikey1972 Posted August 19, 2006 Share Posted August 19, 2006 "I'd love to cook you a delicious dinner tonight. How about salmon? xxxx" "It's not working. I'd like us to split up. I don't want to get rid of you though. Can we still be friends?" Ugh. And another classic, after his ex girlfriend arrived unannounced at his flat with her little girl (who bears a remarkable resemblance to him): "Yes, a lot of people have commented on the resemblance. But she's not my daughter. Honest, trust me." (after we split up, an old friend of my ex's informed me that the girl was indeed his daughter. So much for honesty... What a catch. Good luck to whoever dates him next! ;-) Link to comment
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