Should I Date My Best Friends Ex?

[ConfusedGuy18]

Hey all Im new here, but im really confused on what to do and was wondering if you guys could help me out

 

Well im 18 just fresh out of highschool going to a community college next year

 

Well my best friend met a girl at his church back in feb. and went out a couple months later. They went to prom togther to whole thing. Well after a month into there relationship, you could see that they were slipping away from each other. Not holding hands, he was neer around her, when they were toghter. My friend is a little weird, hes the kind of person that doesn't really want a gf, but anyway

 

when they were going out, she always was looking at me, she raised her eye brows fast like she was into me, but duh i didnt do anything b/c they were going out, but even at prom when he danced in a group, i could see her looking over at me.

 

Anyway

 

Well when they broke up about a month ago, i talked to my friend about everything that happened, and that he was over it and everythign and he wanted to just move on

 

Well now that there broken up, she been getting a lot closer to me now, we all go to the same church, and my friend wont even sit next to me b/c she is, so he saids hes over it, but he doesnt want her over at his house, next to him etc

 

I mean its obvious that she likes me, shes inviting me everywhere now, always wants to sit next to me, "accidentally" touches me, etc all the flirting things

 

I like her a lot, always thinking about her, just never did anything b/c hes my best friends girl, but now that thre broken up i dont know what to do

 

I talked to her on aim the other day and she didnt say it like this but somehow said it w/ out saying these words, basically that evrything between them need to be alright for us to go out

 

Well im in a tough spot, ive known my friend since freshmen year, were great friends, tell each other everything all the buddy buddy stuff.

 

Problem is, what the hell do i do?!?! He is my best friend, he has a twin brother, fraternal, and hes going out w/ a girl which is her best friend

 

So i know if i want to ask her out i have to talk to my friend about it, it seems he would be ok with it.

 

But i dont wan * * * to be all awkward, like if we go out and where toghter and like were hugging of kissing etc hes liek right there. I want it to be ok

 

I know i have to talk to him before i do anything, but should i wait a lil while longer to make sure she really likes me?

 

Should i ask her friend and his brother and ask for there advice?

 

Should i talk to her one on one about everything?

 

Any advie would be great

[heloladies21]

Be up front and talk to your friend. If he is cool with it then you know what you gotta do lol!

 

But if you suspect that he is not 100% about it even if he says otherwise, it's basically gonna come down to him or her and that's your choice.

[NKP]

Talk to him about it, if its kool with him go for it, but if he is not dont date his ex

[kcil]

You shouldn't have to choose a girl over a good friend, and I doubt that will happen. I'd ask your good friend what he would think if you dated her, or if he would have any problems with maybe spending a little bit of time with her, just as a friend through a friend.

 

Also, I think your friend should grow up. I mean, shes just a girl he used to date. What did she do to him other than break up thats so bad that he can never sit with her or talk to her again?

[LostInMyThoughts]

No way, no how should you ever,ever,ever date a friends ex unless you dont want to be his friend anymore.

 

You said he wouldn't sit next to you in church because she sat next to you, what do you think is oging to happen when you two are dating?

 

What if he were in your shoes? Would you want him dating your ex-girlfriend, especially one month afterwards?

 

You are free to make your own decicisons, but if you were my friend, I would immediately kick you to the curb.

 

You have a choice to make, your "bestfriend" now, or someone who might go out with you.

 

Good luck.

[now_better]

personally, i think you would be betraying your friend if you went out w/ her ex especially since it hasn't been that long since they were broken up (only 1 month). he may say it's cool verbally, but that's a guy thing. inside, he may have different feelings and if he sees you with her, things will change for the worse. if a friend of mine was going out w/ my ex, he would no longer be a friend of mine especially w/ how things ended w/ my ex.

 

potential girlfriend versus best friend... there are other fish in the sea...

[traz]

Dating a best friends ex is a NO-NO. Asking him achieves nothing...he'll say yes, but still be upset about it in secret.

 

Just don't do it. When its just a drinking buddy, then it becomes a little more complicated.

[mikeca]

ya this falls under guy code, you can ask but prepare for a no

 

samething applys to sisters,crushes,etc

[eleanorrigby1]

In my opinion, if you told him and 'asked' his permission he wouldnt be honest anyway, he would save his pride and probably say he wasnt bothered even if he was. I have had experience with this before, even said it myself when someone has wanted to date one of my exes.

 

Whether its the love of your life or not you dont want to see them liking your friend better. This is my opinion, not the law, but I wouldnt go near a friend's ex.

 

When you are young, girls come and go but friends stick around always.

[PRSOV]

I wouldn't go there personally, because I have been in the situation.

 

Even though my friend asked if he could date my ex, and I no longer had feelings for her anymore it still felt a bit weird. Later on I found out that she was only using him to try and make me jealous.

 

Friendships and relationships are two things which need to be kept separate, no matter how good the terms are when you go into the relationship I can almost see it ending in someone getting jealous or doing it for the wrong reasons.

[kuys]

The answer to this is very clear, MAN LAW. Other fish in the sea, how many "best" friends do you have?

[BetterKarma]

If you really want to preserve your friendship with your best friend, then I wouldn't do it. A lot of guys, regardless of their age has a general rule about not dating their friend's ex. Think about it, if you were in your friend's shoes, would you be ok with it? Would you be ok with hanging out with them and watching them hug/kiss/make-out in front of you?

 

And another thing, I would have serious problems with a girl who was flirting with me WHILE she was dating my best friend.

[brando]

Since you are 18, and this best friend will probably not be around forever, I'd go for it.

 

Date her..if he has a problem it is purely his, not yours or hers. Have fun, stop worrying.

[BetterKarma]

Since you are 18, and this best friend will probably not be around forever, I'd go for it.

 

That's not neccessarily true. I am still really close to my friends from high school.

[brando]

my experience is HS friends usually end up on different paths, especially with college, especially when most move out of state to attend college. Maybe im generalizing...

 

still at that age if he dates his friends ex no big deal, best friend , friend whatever..

[eleanorrigby1]

My best friends now (i'm 26) are the best friends I made when I was 11, we went through school and college together and supported each other through relationship break ups, deaths in the family, job losses, children, we have always been far more important than someone we 'lust' after.

 

Don't risk losing what could potentially be an important relationship. find another girl to fall inlove with.

[Siriana]

Well he will be against it. maybe he will not admit that, but he will be hurt.

The fact is that you have to make a choice here: best friend or a girl.

 

Think about several facts here:

1. are you going to go to different colleges later?

2. what are the chances that your friendship is going to be over anyway in the long run?

3. what would he do in your situation?

4. how serious is she about you? Is she just flirty or she's soooo much into you?

[iceman85]

I've had this happen to me. Dont do it. My ex who i really cared for started going out with one of my best friends. We werent friends after that, thats all I thought about when I would talk to him and stuff and there was just too much resentment.

 

Even if a guy gets asked for permission hes gonna say it wont bother him. Hes only saying that to not seem weak and soft to you. He deep down probably cares but just wants everything to seem like it doesnt phase him. Your friendship will evaporate most likely if you date this girl.