Relapse in Healing

[Beaker5]

Hi guys,

 

I know I'm constantly posting new topics but I just feel really bad today.

I don't know why but today, I'm just so sad. I miss him so much. I've been going through the healing process and I've been doing no contact and I haven't checked his myspace at all since I found out about his cheating. So why am I having this relapse? I don't want to hurt anymore. To be honest, I really wish he would realize the error of his ways and leave that * * * * * he's with right now and beg me to take him back. But I know he won't. And I don't think I would take him back if he did....or maybe I would. I know...I'm so pathetic. But I can't help it. I really loved him and I never thought him capable of hurting me like this. And right now I feel so worthless and I feel like she's better than me. Part of me really wants to check his myspace but I haven't done it and I won't do it because I know it'll hurt. I just feel so sick right now...

 

Please help me?

[colors]

The hurt inside of you, you will not forget. If you ever take him back he won't change into the person you want and need and he will never be able to clear your mind of the hurt he caused.

So move on & thank God you saw his true colors before it was to late

Don't let his foolishness put doubt in your mind about person you are. You give him too much credit. You are worth far more than him. find someone that will love you, respect you, treat you the way you want & DESERVE to be treated.

[lostandadrift]

I am so sorry for your pain. I can't help you feel any better today, but I can tell you I really understand the sadness as I have felt the same sadness for about 7 months. It slowly gets better, but not fast enough. " Even when your hope is gone, move along, move along." That song speaks to me because I feel that is all I've been doing. So, move along. Take part in activities just for the sake of taking part in them, even though you they bring you no joy at first. Just the distraction is worth something. And let yourself forget, that's important. I didn't let myself forget, I kept the happy moments fresh in my mind which just made the letting go process longer and more painful. And keep writing here, it helps.

[blueberrypie]

for about 7 months.

 

that is way longer than I hope it would be. But at the same time it makes me feel better about feeling bad right now--few weeks after breakup.

 

Beaker, I experienced my first relapse few days ago. It was so depressing because I thought I was over him for long time. But people said it is only natural to experience relapse and to go through several times. I know it's terrible. But we've gone through once, and we know that we are not gonna die from it. So hang in there. It will pass, eventually.

[phillygal]

Beaker, sorry to hear about what you're going through. You just have to understand that it's normal to have those relapses. I went through something similar and even though it's been a year since i've been broken up with my cheating ex, i still have those occasional days where i miss him and get kind of depressed.

 

We have those relapses because we loved them. It's hard to erase that love you had for that person no matter how much they hurt you. Just try not to focus on the happy times you had with him, but instead focus on the pain and hurt he caused you and be glad you're not with him anymore.

 

I'm here for you whenever

[blemished]

Boy can I relate to this thread. You know what's helping me (among many things), is reflecting on what kind of person I am, and what makes me tick. Ask yourself, why was I attracted to this person? Is this person like other people I have loved in life? If so, why is that and how can I break this cycle? How can I make it right the next time?

 

Eventually, the pain will go away, because you will adapt to life without him. Don't worry about how long that takes, because there is no understanding for "time", since your perception of time depends on how you're feeling (ie if you're not feeling well or are bored or unhappy, time seems to go slower and vice versa). However long it takes is going to be long-- just accept that. Try to find some new friends or see your old ones, and family. At least it is summer now so you can go out and enjoy yourself. I've been going to the beach and I am not usually a beach person, but I find myself enjoying it this year like I never thought I would. Experience changes you.

[Beaker5]

Wow...thanks you guys...Thank you so much for your advice. I will take it and I feel better now.

[Beaker5]

This is terrible....I've been having nightmares about him cheating and everytime I wake up, I have this horrible pain on my chest like if a horse kicked me or something. Then I start crying. I really hate this.

[lovelynns]

I completely agree with colors.

 

wise comments. try and think about the good in the situation not the bad. You will hurt for awhile but...

 

when God closes a door he opens a window.

 

You will be fine soon and great again.

[LilPixie]

Last night I also had a nightmare that my husband and his new girlfriend were together and laughing at me. I woke up in a very strong pain.

Things that help me are: SHe is way way worst person then me - physically, intelectually and in any way. He deserves to be with her - he belongs to this trashy, alcohol and drug infused world. I am grateful that we don't have kids because I cannot imagine being bound to this scumbag for the rest of my life.

It also helps to know that he will cheat and lie to her as well. And any woman that knows that she is sleeping with a married/attached man gets no respect at all and is heading for a bad bad karma. Same karma is heading towards your ex. God/The Universe never ever allows for deeds like this not to be punished.

Be grateful you found out now, be grateful that you don't have an STD. Be grateful that you will get awesome karma - because you didn't do anything to deserve the cheating. You are in for an awesome life - they are heading to hell. So smile every time you think of them -they will suffer. And you darlin are worth SO MUCH MORE!!!! If he is a man who cheats he will cheat for the rest of his life. Be greatful he is gone. If he is sleeping good at night - you certainly deserve to sleep better.

[flower99]

Wow that's perfectly put & so true!!!!