do men have feelings?

[teacup]

lately i have been thinking. i have gone around all these years, thinking that men do not feel. that they do not have feelings or emotions as deeply as me. or that they do not care for women, do not have concerns for women, are not interested, do not care etc.

 

but then i think i have involved with a lot of wrong men who have helped damage my perceptions of men, feelings, and relationship dynamics and how they work themselves out. so tell me, (especially if ur male), do men have feelings? and how do they feel? how do they resolve their feelings? how do they utilize feelings?

 

so men genuinely feel? do they genuinely care? are men capable of this? do men really have emotions and feelings? are they in touch with them?

[renaissancewoman101]

Hey teacup, I think most men do have feelings and emotions but then society teaches them to not acknowledge their feelings and emotions but to stuff them away and be macho about things.

[Casket]

Hey teacup,

 

I too believes its societies influcence on males and specifically, its the influences of their friends through adolesance.

 

Im only 17 and i am the black duck amongst my friends. My mates dont have feelings even close to mine. Recently a good mate of mine was angry because in the 4 months he was going out with his gf he didnt get sex. It makes me wonder why all the girls go for these jerks.

 

I definatly have feelings. I definatly care about women and would never ever cheat on her. I would rather hug for hours then have sex and go to sleep afterwards. Maybe thats just me, but im not one of a kind.

 

Men have feeling and emotions, but most percieve it as a sign of weakness showing them. So i ask you, why did you get caught up with the wrong guys? Is it because they were a bad * * * and you wanted a challenge to change them? Is it because the aura of someone who can protect you was just too appealing? Or did you geniunly just get caught up with the wrong guys?

 

Because im my expereince (and my views are shared by most of the same type of guys, at least AROUND my age) we are very out for the taking, we just dont get approached or we are merely "the friend".

[Dako]

teacup,

You still have problems because of what some creeps did to you. I can assure you men have feelings as strong as your own. Some have even been hurt by women, and are hurting as you are.

[AntiLove_SuperStar]

After spending the night with my boyfriend the night after his dad was diagnosed with terminal cancer, then on the night he died, no one can convince me men don't feel things. He radiated so much pain I almost couldn't bear it.

[Hope75]

Yes men do have feelings, they feel just as much as we do. There are times when a man might not feel he can express his feelings, partly due to how society dictates that men should be strong and that emotion can be interpreted as a sign of weakness, partly because some men are raised to believe they should not express feelings but keep it all inside.

 

I can assure you that men do in fact have the same feelings and emotions that women do, and when you meet the right one, you will see it too.

[yeawutever]

Yea teacups, men aren't animals with just instinct, they're people. You're just making a generalization statement cuz of what some creeps did to you. That now I wonder about those guys that been hurt repeatly by nasty girls, they must be thinking the same thing about us I bet.

 

Sometimes it's society at teching us how we should behave, but other times it's how we were raise. In some cases they were prollie taught not to show their emotions, or if so hide them. In more open families, they were taught to never be afraid of showing them. It's not just guys' cases, some girls can go on hardly ever showing emotions in front of people, hiding them and go on like this for years, and if they need to once in a long while blow up, do it alone, I'm one of them. Always been trying to be the strongest one in the family, unlike my mother who can cry easily over a sad film.

[RayKay]

Of course men have feelings!

 

I need a slogan here...like....."men are people too"!

 

I have seen men cry, laugh, celebrate, grieve, anticipate, dread......they have emotions that run deep and expressive. I have seen men brought to the ground by the death or serious illness of a loved one, or crying tears of joy at the birth of their children. Not all men may show all sides of themself often due to social constructs, not even all women show all sides of themself. Everyone deals with feelings differently, or has different approaches to situations. But they are certainly there,

[Dako]

Antilove's current avatar inspires strong feelings of compassion, and I'm a guy.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

yes they do. i've seen guys cry before, and especially in one case it was pretty apparent that he was quite upset.

[Prenkle]

Yes men have feelings. I guess the problem is that they give the impression they don't when they don't return the same feelings or level of intensity that some women have expressed towards them. If unreciprocated love was a sign of unfeeling, then half of this world could be perceived as unfeeling. Also agree with others that it's a societal pressures. Society usually takes for granted that women are much more emotional than men.

[renaissancewoman101]

It could also be a cultural thing. In some cultures, it is frowned upon to show feelings or show emotion about things.

[Sylph]

I have no problem with admiting that I cry, not very often but I'm not one to hide it at all.

 

Last time I checked I feel emotions too, I'm quite aware of them and even though I make a great deal of effort to manage them it doesn't mean that they never existed in the first place. I'd probably show them more if I haven't gotten so used to projecting a false image of myself to the general public, I'm sure a lot of guys do the same but maybe not for the same reasons.

 

Of course men feel emotions, it's just that most feel pressured by society to not show them. Men are generally just not allowed to show them. Again, I'd like to think I wasn't affected by that.

 

But then again, who knows? Emotions are relative to each and every person, we cannot measure and plot emotion on a graph so that we might compair it with someone else. Maybe I am the heartless bastard I occasionally suspect myself of being, deluded by denial. Who knows?

[Bethany]

I saw over 300 people weep openly at the funeral of someone close to me, and over half of them were men. It was overwhelming to watch these men grieving his loss and something that I will never, EVER forget.

 

What more proof do you need?

[wlfpack81]

Deleted by user

[Jeremyg77]

Yeah they do im only 17 also but i broke up with my gf 4 months ago and it still kills me and now she is kinda with this other kid that says "i cant wait to hit that" which made me even more upset cuz thats disrespectful

[Daddy Bear]

the idea that men feel less deeply than women is a myth, perpetuated by societal peer pressure that forces men to HIDE their emotions. in some relationships the man can even be much more sensitive and empathetic than the woman (believe me).

[Venturer]

What, are you kidding? Men do have feelings. Some guys don't show it, other guys are open books.

[itsallgrand]

Whoa. You really believed men are pre-humans with limited ability to feel?

 

Mens be people too. In fact, I've seen more emotion from the men in my life than a lot of the women. 'Big girls don't cry'.

 

Men do feel. It's a new day for you if you get that now. Hoorah! enjoy! take care of them.

[Dako]

My dad was a medical corpsman in the South Pacific with a Maine unit. He saw some real sick stuff and dealt with things he couldn't talk about.

He'd cry without shame.

[Daddy Bear]

there is no shame in crying, just like there is no shame in getting professional help for emotional or relationship problems. these are outdated concepts and i'm glad they're being re-examined in threads like this one.

 

my dad was raised as a strict Methodist. i never saw him cry. i also never heard him say he loved me, and he never gave me a hug. i feel so sorry for him, trapped inside himself so completely.

[iamteddybearfeelmecuddle]

yeah, my brother had a particularly hard life, harder than me in some ways i think cuz he was older, and he was the boy, and of course there was no dad. sometimes i can't get through to him no matter what, and it pretty much sucks. if i can tell there's a problem, i ask what's up, and he'll just say 'nothing'. he won't even tell me what's going on.

[teacup]

why did i get caught up with the wrong guys?

 

- because i was screwed up, i had issues emotionally and i had unresolved issues. they blinded me from making the right choices, from choosing the right men. the bad guys were cute in the beginning because they were so flippant....sometimes i want to be so flippant and uncaring and unworried about the world. but that was in the very beginning when i was very young - i did not know any better at the time. for a little bit, it was also the allure of....he is so uncaring, if i can get him to care about me, then i must be really special.

 

but now that i am older, i genuinely get caught up with the wrong guys because i dont know how to pick. i tried to pick a good guy this time. i honestly did......i thought i was getting a guy that was nice and a good guy. he turned out to be such a jerk and that really upset me because i really wanted someone decent and real!!!!!!! so, i think women make dumb choices also because they get blinded by attraction, because they have issues, because they dont know any better, or mabe because they just make bad choices. ALL of this is why. it is harder for a woman to recognize a bad guy (because he puts on a mask and pretends and acts a certain way). it is easier for a man to see another man as he truly is (i believe).

 

but i definitely tell you, i want a sweet, loving, caring, honest, warm guy. i do not want a vile, evil, unfeeling, uncaring jerk.......never never ever again!!!!!!!!! i think women get to this point where they realize what they genuinely prefer.....and i tell you good guys are WAY better and more worthy. dont ever feel u have to be bad to get women.

 

when girls are younger, they do not consciously realize how being with a bad guy can hurt them or affect them. they do not realize the price they pay. but seriously, it is hard not to recognize it, the older i get. and for the girls that never recognize it over time and with more experience?? i can only say that those girls must either be really stupid & dumb, or really naive, or really messed up in some way to not see it.

 

this is based on my personal experiences.

 

 

Hey teacup,

 

So i ask you, why did you get caught up with the wrong guys? Is it because they were a bad * * * and you wanted a challenge to change them? Is it because the aura of someone who can protect you was just too appealing? Or did you geniunly just get caught up with the wrong guys?

[teacup]

i think that i get it on a thought level, but it doesn't really sink in. i hear that men have emotions, but i dont believe it. i dont believe it's genuine.

 

the only emotion i have sensed and felt from men......the only emotion that i have been around and felt VERY strongly from men is anger. towards me. or towards something. mostly towards me. and then i get afraid and scared because i feel like he will beat me or hurt me in some way, even though i have never been physically beaten before. it is that anger that makes me feel it.

 

so........i know men get angry and they dont seem to have a problem showing that.

 

do men really care about their gfs? do they really have feelings if they have a crush on a girl? do they really feel sadness over a breakup? do they really feel any empathy when i tell them i have been abused by men before? do they really understand? do they really care? are they really capable of genuine emotion?

 

most of the time.....i think of men as.......robots. human robots. that is the best way i can describe it. im warped aren't i?

 

 

 

 

Whoa. You really believed men are pre-humans with limited ability to feel?

 

Mens be people too. In fact, I've seen more emotion from the men in my life than a lot of the women. 'Big girls don't cry'.

 

Men do feel. It's a new day for you if you get that now. Hoorah! enjoy! take care of them.

[Massari]

of course we do.. my GF just broke my heart.. when I put everything all my heart soul for her on the table. cherished her every day .. in the 2 months that we were together, didn't cheat on her, never yelled at her never argued with her, always wanted her to be happy and she took all that for granted and said I need some time to think things over and I don't want things to get rushed between us.. she turned her back on me. it has been a week and 3 days now that I haven't seen her but did talk to her on MSN 2 times. I have cried every single day since then and I bet she doesn't know that. I missed her everyday and though about her and I bet she hasn't. now who has feelings? me or her?