Did you get back with ex AFTER you moved on?

[octopus]

OK, here's a new topic that I'm sure many people would be intereste to read. Similar questions might have been anwered in different threads before, but if we can compile them here, it'd be better.

 

1. Did you get back with your ex after a break-up?

 

2. Until then, did you move on? Did the ex move on?(I mean seriously; assuming the ex would never come back)

 

3. Did the desire to get back together come from the dumpee or the dumper? Or did you just run into each other one day 6 months later and felt "that way" again?

 

4. How long did it last when you got back together after breaking up?

 

[edit] 5. When you got back together again, after breaking up, did it feel better than before? Or after a while things became the same?

 

[Another edit]6. Did you remain "friends" while you were broken up. If yes, do you think that helped in getting back together or would it have been better to disappear from their lives completely to give them space?

[ShaKe__]

Just to let you know,it's happened to me only once.So...

 

1. Did you get back with your ex after a break-up?

 

Yes.Though not sure if it was a mistake or not.

 

2. Until then, did you move on? (I mean seriously; assuming the ex would never come back)

 

No,that's why I regreted dumping him and took him back.Not it's really over though.

 

3. Did the desire to get back together come from the dumpee or the dumper? Or did you just run into each other one day 6 months later and felt "that way" again?

 

In the beginning the desire is usually from both sides-of the dumpee and dumper.But I had to make the first move in this case,bacause he's just not type of person.It didn't feel "that way",it was much stronger,yet it faded away..at least for him.

 

4. How long did it last when you got back together after breaking up?

 

Almost a month.And we used to be together for 3 months before

[melee18]

1. yes i got back together with my ex after he dumped me.

 

2. during the month were broken up, i attempted to move on. he did too.

 

3. he called me up to go out for lunch the day before we were going to drive home (we go to the same college and live a block away at home - he has a car and i don't so i usually travel with him) we had a good time at lunch and he realized and i quote "i thought i was over you, but now i realize i'm not even close to being over you". that night he invited me to hang out with him. i went over, and we ended up getting back together. so i guess you could say it was mutual.

 

4. we're still going out - it's been about a month and a half. he wants things less serious than they've been. we're college kids, and he's scared of committment. so we've been mucking around with what "less serious" means, but i'm just happy to have him back.

[Midgi]

1. Did you get back with your ex after a break-up?

 

Yes after a year of seperation... we had a horrible break up

 

 

2. Until then, did you move on? Did the ex move on?(I mean seriously; assuming the ex would never come back)

 

Yes I did at first, and it was horrible. After then month I decided that I cannot be feeling like this forever, so I decided to do something about it. He moved on... he said he did not even cared that we broke up

 

3. Did the desire to get back together come from the dumpee or the dumper? Or did you just run into each other one day 6 months later and felt "that way" again?

 

From me the Dumpee

 

4. How long did it last when you got back together after breaking up?

 

6 months! It was hard long distance, afterwards he told me he still liked me. I got back together briefly a couple of month ago, but he did not want committment. He broke up with me the 2nd time aswell

 

[edit] 5. When you got back together again, after breaking up, did it feel better than before? Or after a while things became the same?

 

It felt better, because I knew that we had a connection which was felt by both the partners. The first time I felt like I was a fling to him- and me just being the over emotional girl.

[jflatt]

1. Did you get back with your ex after a break-up?

Yes after a couple of weeks of seperation, in which she dated someone else.

 

2. Until then, did you move on? Did the ex move on?(I mean seriously; assuming the ex would never come back)

I wasn't moved on yet and I don't think she was really moved on either even though she was with someone else.

 

3. Did the desire to get back together come from the dumpee or the dumper? Or did you just run into each other one day 6 months later and felt "that way" again?

The desire to get back together came from her annd she was the dumpee. She ended up calling me crying, begging to get back with me telling me she made the biggest mistake of her life.

 

4. How long did it last when you got back together after breaking up?

It last a couple of years, before she ended up getting close to a male friend of hers, and dumped me for him, similar to what she did the first time we broke up.

 

5. When you got back together again, after breaking up, did it feel better than before? Or after a while things became the same?

The relationship was stronger and better, because it helped open some lines of communication that weren't there before, and we knew better what each other wanted from the relationship at least thats how I felt about it, I guess she didn't see things the same way since she left me again...lol

[Hope75]

1. Did you get back with your ex after a break-up?

 

Yep.

 

2. Until then, did you move on? Did the ex move on?(I mean seriously; assuming the ex would never come back)

 

No, I did not move on. I did, however, move out. He broke up with me, was doubting his feelings. We were split for a few months. He did not date anyone else during that time, we were still sleeping together and both still had feelings for one another.

3. Did the desire to get back together come from the dumpee or the dumper? Or did you just run into each other one day 6 months later and felt "that way" again?

 

Initially it came from me, (the dumpee), but after some time apart, it came from him as well, which is why we got back together.

 

4. How long did it last when you got back together after breaking up?

 

We're still together, been back together 11 months officially, dated for about 6 weeks before we "officially" got back together. (were together for over 2 years before that, and living together too.) I also moved back in with him last summer.

 

[edit] 5. When you got back together again, after breaking up, did it feel better than before? Or after a while things became the same?

 

Things are much better. We both learned some valuable lessons about our relationship and really needed to start fresh, with a new way to communicate and a new set of rules. It feels so much stronger.

 

[Another edit]6. Did you remain "friends" while you were broken up. If yes, do you think that helped in getting back together or would it have been better to disappear from their lives completely to give them space?

 

Yes, we remained friends and were pretty much dating after just a couple of weeks post breakup. I think it depends on the couple whether space makes a difference. It really has to come from both parties wanting to get back together and make it work. If one is not in it, it's not going to happen.

[arwen]

1. Did you get back with your ex after a break-up?

Yes, with the first ex I had.

 

2. Until then, did you move on? Did the ex move on?(I mean seriously; assuming the ex would never come back)

Yes, I had pretty much moved on, even more than he did, and he was the dumper.

 

3. Did the desire to get back together come from the dumpee or the dumper? Or did you just run into each other one day 6 months later and felt "that way" again?

It was a mutual desire, but both times (yes, broke up twice and got back together twice...) initiated by him. The first time we ran into each other and he asked me out right away, and we did. The second time he called me and asked me to come to his place for tea.

 

4. How long did it last when you got back together after breaking up?

The first time half a year, the second time 4 months. This is years ago, and I am happy that I am out of this relationship full of pitfalls. There were too many incompatibilities.

 

[edit] 5. When you got back together again, after breaking up, did it feel better than before? Or after a while things became the same?

It felt great, and we fell into the same traps as when we had broken up. After a few months we were pretty much back at square 1.

 

[Another edit]6. Did you remain "friends" while you were broken up. If yes, do you think that helped in getting back together or would it have been better to disappear from their lives completely to give them space?

No, absolute NC.

[FCTex]

1. Did you get back with your ex after a break-up?

 

Yes, Well, in the moment right now of doing so, but most certainly yes.

 

2. Until then, did you move on? Did the ex move on?(I mean seriously; assuming the ex would never come back)

 

Yes, I said goodbye, I got into another relationship, I knew she was gone to me.. But I knew I would still see her and hear from her, due to my situation.

 

3. Did the desire to get back together come from the dumpee or the dumper? Or did you just run into each other one day 6 months later and felt "that way" again?

 

The dumper, she dumped me, and she was the one who after 5-6 month was trying to contact me pretty often, by any means possible.. I still had love for her, and spending time only allowed that to grow back together.

 

4. How long did it last when you got back together after breaking up?

 

Hopefully I will marry her this time around, we'll see!

 

[edit] 5. When you got back together again, after breaking up, did it feel better than before? Or after a while things became the same?

 

Right now it feel better in a sense, but the comfort of the back it used to be, is still there. I suspect like any relationship, these are viewed as a "new" relationship, hence- things will be amazing for a few months and then finally settle into a pace.

 

[Another edit]6. Did you remain "friends" while you were broken up. If yes, do you think that helped in getting back together or would it have been better to disappear from their lives completely to give them space?

 

No, I told her I would be nothing but a boyfriend to her. After I gained control of myself, I did not talk to her, I did not attempt to, I moved on, and I was void of her life as much as I possibly could... Knowing however that if I needed to, she or I could contact each other. We both had our space.

[OCD]

Congrats FCTex, it's nice to hear a good story...Good luck to you and thanks for sharing your story, it gives some of us hope...I told my ex that I can't be friends and have moved on too...dating different girls....I'm hoping, like in your situation, she tries to come back after dumping me...Thank again for sharing...take care.

 

OCD

[sukerbut]

yea i moved on .. she broke up with me 4 years ago..thought i would never seen her again...2 years ago..after not speaking or seeing each other we ran into each other at a club...casually dated for 7 months and were exclusive for another 9 months...then she dumped me again after she assured me..she would not date me if she did not see herself married to me..what a joke.!!!! i thought it was fate...haha that was another joke.

[hellokittykitty]

Do you even believe in fate?... it's a crock. I thought my ex relationship was fate. He dropped me and said he wants to keep getting to know, but the jerk hasn't called. I guess it was all lies.

[LiquidCherry]

1. Did you get back with your ex after a break-up??

Yes.

 

2. Until then, did you move on? Did the ex move on?(I mean seriously; assuming the ex would never come back)?

I tried my very best to move on. I didn't call him. I didn't pick up the scaps he would occasionally throw my way. If he had waited much longer than the 6 weeks he did it very well could have been too late.

 

3. Did the desire to get back together come from the dumpee or the dumper? Or did you just run into each other one day 6 months later and felt "that way" again??

It came from him, the dumper. We both play and MMORPG. I signed on to play one day and he was waiting for me I guess cause right away he sent me a message asking me to please come over.

 

4. How long did it last when you got back together after breaking up??

We got back together on 11/7/05 and we're still going strong.

 

[edit] 5. When you got back together again, after breaking up, did it feel better than before? Or after a while things became the same??

It's amazing. The only issue we really had was resolved before he even asked for me back.

 

[Another edit]6. Did you remain "friends" while you were broken up. If yes, do you think that helped in getting back together or would it have been better to disappear from their lives completely to give them space?

NOO! He wanted to and I told him that it wasn't going to happen. If someone breaks my heart they sure better fix it if they want anything to do with me. Friendship just doesn't cut it.

[alphonsefa]

1. Did you get back with your ex after a break-up?

 

Yeah, she kept dumping me to go back to an abusive, fat, dead end job having, loser. The first time I knew she went abck to him, the second time I had no idea until she told me one day, which sort of led into the 3rd breakup.

 

2. Until then, did you move on? Did the ex move on?(I mean seriously; assuming the ex would never come back)

 

No, I don't think I ever really moved on from her, even though I've been in two other relationships. I still miss her, but she'll never hear from me again. I won't call or write, or stop to see her. No, I thought she was gone for good each time she left.

 

3. Did the desire to get back together come from the dumpee or the dumper? Or did you just run into each other one day 6 months later and felt "that way" again?

 

At first it came from me, but it was always coldly rejected from her. I was never able to initiate getting back together with her, it always had to come from her. She is the type of person who won't talk to you if she's not the initiater. The pattern was that we'd have no contact for a little over a month and then the phone would ring and it would be her. At the third breakup I told her to go the F away and never call me again. She looked at me with hate and said, "I'll never call you again"! Three months later after total no contact, she called again to "just see how the new jon was going"; obviously and excuse to contact me. I didn't want to give her the feeling of being able to pick me upm and put me down whenever she wanted me, so I let it go about a month and then called her. She was extremely cold! I turned her off for another 3 months and then got week at Christams time and stopped to see her at the mall where she works. She was again totally cold! I've now thrown in the towel, and just recently found her on my mind less and less. I found out she is again back with the abusive loser boyfriend, and that pretty much drained any feelings I had left for her.

4. How long did it last when you got back together after breaking up?

 

Not long! It rarely does! Basically you've dealing with someone who has quit on you once and will in time do it again. It lasted another month each time we got back together.

 

[edit] 5. When you got back together again, after breaking up, did it feel better than before? Or after a while things became the same?

 

At first it does, and then the novelty soon wears off and you have the same problems that were there before, namely her bouts of depression and total bi-polar behavior.

 

[Another edit]6. Did you remain "friends" while you were broken up. If yes, do you think that helped in getting back together or would it have been better to disappear from their lives completely to give them space?

 

NO!!! A very bad move IMO. You are just asking for more hurt when you do that. It's much better to disappear, and I mean totally! It's the only think that brought her back twice and made her attempt a third time. Why she didn't stay? She's a girl that was abused physically and mentally by that dirt ball and he pretty much controls her. There's nothing he could do that would make her break it off for good with him. Her 2 brothers beat the S out of him when they found out about the abuse. It ruined the relationship with her brothers and strained the one with her parents. After 2 abortions with him, getting knocked around, getting mentally abused, and having her brothers lose the lawsuit for $8000, she again went back to him. How do you deal with a woman that with that type of sick mentality?!