melee18

keep your confidence up davie - i know it's hard right now and she's all you think about, but spend some time on you. here's a little phrase for you: "live right now yeah, just be yourself. it doesn't matter if it's good enough for someone else."

i would tell her you would like to sit down for a heart to heart sometime. it sounds like you both have some tensions to clear up. if she's a good friend, she will talk it out with you. maybe then you can start building back up what you had and see if you can take it further. but you can't do that until you sit down with her and clear up the tension between the two of you. good luck!

seems like she's just checking up on you - see what you're doing and if there is anyone else in the picture. looks like thanksgiving got her thinking about the special people in her life or the people that were in her life. i wouldn't read into it much more than that though. just checking in and being curious.

i agree with laboheme on that you should probably wait another semester to transfer - most school don't give out their acceptances for transfers until late spring anyway. this would give you more time to figure things out. i'd also recommend visiting UF and getting a feel for the school. maybe you have a friend there or a contact that could really give you a feel for it (more so than just a tour through admissions). the last thing you want to do is hate the school you're at. it makes everyday their more painful. best of luck on you're decision - transferring can be difficult - i still consider it one of my biggest accomplishments to date!

it just sounds like he's still curious - next time give him your best smile and seem happy as a peach. he'll start to wonder what's up.

i also bought that book - it's def. been helping. if anything it made me realize that being depressive and being overly available was not helping my chances. i've also realized that there are other fish in the sea and that i am worthy of a good fish (even though i consider the ex to be an good fish) so why not start fishing. and as a friend pointed out "just because you're fishing doesn't mean you're catching". i'm not sure how things are going to pan out (but right now i'm being positive and not worrying) - the ex and i are doing a no contact period for a semester to give each other some space. so far it is working out ok. i'm following the book's advice and getting myself back together, exploring my options. also making sure i'm smiling a lot anytime i bump into the ex. for example the other day i was at a social event where he was too. although i was uneasy about seeing him and watching him interact with other girls esp. i kept my chin up, smile excessively and had a good time. i think he was a little surprised and def. noticed that i was doing well. i caught a little look of "gee i still have feelings for you, i'm a little surprised you're doing so well". the whole thing shouldn't surprise me much. after we broke up, we kept up contact although it was up and down. i've noticed he was much more into me when i had my self confidence up and was not afraid to consider possibilities with other guys. i read the book and a little light went off in my head! so keep me updated on how its going for you bungalo and i'll keep you updated on mine. hopefully the diva will pan out in the end!

i feel like a lot of times you have to "begin with the end in mind". why did you guys break up? if you def. don't see a future with this person then i would just end it and attempt to be friends when you're ready.

i have a couple prespectives for you: 1) I did long distance with a boyfriend for a year. We were both freshman in college at the time and had been dating in high school. He went to college 8 hours away and I went to college at home. It was hard, but what mostly got us through was the fact that I was planning on transferring to his school after my freshman year. I don't know if we would have continued the relationship had I not transferred b/c I don't think he wanted a ldr for that long. 2) I have two friends from home that started dating their boyfriends in high school and have continued to date them all through college. They all go to school two hours apart and see each other a couple times a semester. I was talking to one of my girl friends about it and she says its nice because she can do her own thing at school (not cheating on her boyfriend, but having time to herself) but she still has him to talk to and see on breaks. However I know they are all in a tough boat as to what to do after they graduate. Two of them are contemplating breaking up if they do not go to the same grad schools b/c ldr get hard after a while and it seems as though the overall goal is to end up being in the same place as the person eventually. If two people aren't willing to end up near each other, then you have to wonder how serious they are about the relationship. So I think it's up to you and her to decide what you want to do. Maybe breaking it off for now, but remaining friends would work best or maybe staying together for as long as you can will work. I remember being in a ldr to be a lot of work, but it was also one of the more romantic times in my relationship because you value your time together much more and you have to do more things (cards, phone calls, flowers) to keep the spark going. Best of luck to you both!

it sounds like the new girl got a bit scared and maybe thought you were being too clingy. It sounds like she's not ready/looking for something serious at the moment. I'm taking it you guys weren't officially in a relationship? I would continue to get out a meet people. Sitting at home only makes you think of things including exes. Get your self confidence up again and maybe that new girl will start to see you are worth her time after all. Or maybe somebody new will enter the picture. I know it can be hard, but you have to keep positive and think positively about things.

I'm a big believer in listening to your dreams, especially the ones that feel real, and really stick out. There is a book on these kinds of dreams called "Healing Dreams". I've found it to be very interesting. I also like the website link removed for analyzing things. I've also read and feel that the more vivid a dream, the more literal the interpretation. The thing that sticks out most to me in your dream is when your boss leans in to kiss you and you say "why are you doing this - you need to get out right now!". To me it sounds like your subconsious is trying to tell you exactly that - get out of your job soon b/c it's not going to get any better with your boss. According to link removed bathrooms relate to your "instinctual urges" which again are telling you that this is a bad situation.

i know breakups suck especially getting dumped. when i was first dumped things that helped me were reading things on here and spending time with people. it was just too painful to sit alone. as long as i was with people, i somehow managed to feel at least a little better. so maybe go spend sometime with friends. also good job on not contacting him. you're right hearing from him will just make you feel worse. also make sure you're eating - i know it can be really hard - i never have an appetite when i'm depressed, but 7lbs is a lot to lose that quickly and you're probably feeling weak so make sure you're at least trying to eat something. i know it's hard but things will get better. keep posting on here as long as you like. we're here for you : )

you might also want to consider getting your thyroid checked.

i'm trying to focus on all this senior-year-in-college stuff. like getting a job and trying to start up a company after graduation. also getting into shape. and this is going to sound corny to some of you but i've been reading a lot about being psychic. i'm really enjoying a book called "you are psychic - the free soul method". it gets into the whole science behind everything. i'm also trying to meet new people. i'm open to going on a date if asked. but it's hard. the ex and i went to strict nc a week ago. today i saw him and it brought back a rush of feelings. so i'm a step behind and we didn't even talk! i'm doing ok but there's a hole inside that is hard to fill. to make matters worse i was discussing all of this with my roommate today and she makes it out to be that the only reason i still like him is because i haven't dated other people. well i'd like to argue that the reason i still like him is because we dated for almost four years and that it is the hardest thing in the world to let go of someone you love. sorry to i'm just really frustrated at the moment.

i wish i knew what to tell you, but i'm in the same boat with my ex. he still likes me a lot, but he doesn't have time for/want a relationship right now. he has a lot on his plate right now so i understand but the problem was we were still talking and being friends. there was also major flirting. but it was killing me and eating up my thoughts. the other night i told him i couldn't do the whole friends thing anymore and that i thought we should just give each other some space for a semester. so at the moment we're not talking but we decided to discuss things at the end of this semester. i guess my best advice to you is to figure out how much contact you want from him. if it hurts you to talk to him and see him flirt with you but not want a relationship, then don't give him the pleasure of contact with you. let him know that you're not interested in playing games.

transferring can be difficult - you already know the whole deal about college, but now you're at a new one and don't know any of the people. I called my sophomore year at my current school "freshman year part 2". what's worked for me is just plain old meeting new people. i got involved with greek life and met a ton of people through that. i met people my roommates sophomore year knew and i still see them around and talk with them. i've also met a ton of kids through classes which helps because we have a lot of them together. i know it sucks right now, but keep your chin up and you'll get through! don't be afraid to introduce yourself as a transfer student - you'd be amazed at the people who are interested in your story and willing to help!