Urgent Sex Help

[Barney]

Hi Folks

I need your help on this one.

Myself and a close friend who is a female has made an agreement that we will loose your virginity with eachother because we came up with an idea that its better to loose it with a friend who your close with rather than some random person in a club or sumfin and we really are close I've know her for years and years.

 

And we have picked a date.

 

But im get serious second thoughts I've never been attracted to her,and i think its just more the lust side of myself that just wants to have sex.

 

I dont know if i should go through with it,should i just go for it?

 

Please i need your help.

 

Barney,essex,england.

[poke]

Dude... if your not attracted to her, it will be a total let down.

 

Ontop of that, you might potentially ruin your friendship with her.

 

There is no reason why you need to lose it to a random person either.... wait until you find someone your really into, and can't see straight when shes around cause your so horny

[Confused1981]

dont do it, friends are more important!!! Wait until ur 1st proper girlfriend and enjoy urself u dont ound ready, there no rush ur still under 18!!!

[OceanEyes]

I can't say for sure how it is for males, but if I wasn't attracted to a guy, the sex would be boring and useless. I'd probably start thinking about last week's (well, MONTH'S now) episode of Desperate Housewives, or that I had to clean something, mail something, etc. Get the general idea? lol

 

Don't just lose your virginity for something to do. You don't have to lose it to a stranger either, just give yourselves some time and let it happen right! This whole planned out element of it will take the mystery, fun, and excitement out of the experience completely. Save it for a more appropriate time, and for a girl who you can't WAIT to see naked.

[danylion]

I did that because I thought it be the best thing in theory but I knew it was wrong because i didn't fancy him, it just didn't feel right before, during or after! It didn't work!

 

Be honest with yourself and go with Your gut instinct, say no. Don't do it as you may regret it when you find someone you are attracted to.

 

 

Good luck

[AlwaysNeedHelp]

DO NOT DO IT.. Sex isnt something you just have to do.. When you feel attraction towards someone and you trust eachother.. then you can have sex..

[birdgirl]

But when you find the right girl, what's she going to think when she finds out you slept with with this friend of yours? Many girls would be uncomfortable with this friendship and you may have to give it up. Or what if you get her pregnant? Now, it's not even a girl you're in love with... BAD idea.

[BellaDonna]

It doesn't sound like a good idea to me.

 

Why bother having sex just for the sake of "doing it"?

 

You're robbing yourself of the joys of sex- if you're not even attracted to the person and don't have intimate feelings for her. More likely than not, it won't be a good first time under those circumstances.

 

Just because you "set a date" doesn't mean you can't change your mind. Besides, losing your virginity is not supposed to be like a dental visit in which you set up an appointment. Honestly, it seems kind of silly and almost scripted/mechanical.

 

...not to mention you could ruin a good friendship....

 

you deserve the best- why settle for a medicore first time?

 

But im get serious second thoughts

 

This is what is most important- DO NOT do it if you're having serious second thoughts. Listen to your instincts- they won't steer you wrong.

 

BellaDonna

[shaggie1]

I feel I have to pass this on to you my wayward friend and I only ask that you think on it for a bit.

 

A love comes and goes from time to time but a Friend is there every time.

 

Short and sweet I know but they are words to live by.

[RayKay]

Why have sex just to "do it"?

 

Why not wait until there is someone special, and whom the feelings are great, in your life before you take that step....you don't have to lose it to someone in a bar (and I recommend AGAINST that anyway, not worth the risks of ending up a father and being attached to a stranger the rest of your life because of it, never mind STD's).

 

If you had sex with your friend, you are also risking pregnancy, because sex even WITH protection has that risk...would you honestly be ready to be attached to her forever with a child? Even if that were to happen, what about losing your friendship? Sex CHANGES things, and your friendship would never be the same. What if she has more feelings for you then you think, and she hopes this will mean you can be bf and gf? How are you going to deal with that?

 

When you do find that person you love, and they want to share that sexual experience with you, how would you feel knowing you did it before just to do it, and for her she sees it as something special to save for someone you care about? I am not saying wait until you are married, just wait until you are in a committed relationship, in love, ready emotionally as much as physically.

 

What enjoyment would come out of having sex with someone you are not even attracted to? Sex is a GREAT thing, a great way of expressing desire, attraction, love, passion, pleasure...but not if you are not even attracted!

 

Losing your virginity, and sexual experiences, are not about booking a "date"...how artifical and contrived is that? Are you also going to go see your doctor and dentist that day? It's about building a relationship with someone, looking forward to it together to share that with one another, being very INTO one another on all levels, and doing it when the time feels right for you both.

 

Don't do it, I don't think you would regret waiting at all,if you are having these doubts.

[Dako]

Don't mess up a friendship for sex.

Mess up someone you love.

[Barney]

Hi folks thanks

Just to say I know she's liked me for years,she's told me and it was her idea but thats not the point.

 

I rarely get that kind of female attention and I guess I just thought what if this is my only chance as know one else likes me lol.

 

But I know thats wrong...I guess.

 

I donno how to tell her,i dont wana hurt her feelings

[BellaDonna]

I donno how to tell her,i dont wana hurt her feelings

 

Just tell her that you had time to give it more thought- and that her friendship means a lot to you- and you don't want to ruin that friendship. Tell her you are waiting for the right time, and that you just know this is not the right time in your life. She should not take that personally.

 

Just to say I know she's liked me for years,she's told me

 

My guess is that she is thinking that if you have sex with one another- you'll like her in that way too, and that you'll want a relationship. That's a huge red flag right there. Save yourself a lot of grief and tell her you changed your mind.

 

BellaDonna

[RayKay]

Hi folks thanks

Just to say I know she's liked me for years,she's told me and it was her idea but thats not the point.

 

I rarely get that kind of female attention and I guess I just thought what if this is my only chance as know one else likes me lol.

 

But I know thats wrong...I guess.

 

I donno how to tell her,i dont wana hurt her feelings

 

I wondered if she liked you. And that's one reason I thought it was a bad idea, as it may make her more attached to you, or give her hope you can have something together. Or worse...not saying she would do this, but it DOES happen to many....try and get pregnant. Trust, me it is not a good idea. I have a feeling she wants to do it as she is tying it to love, and thinks you will fall for her if it happens. It might create some false lust feelings since when you have sex, endorphins are released and you bond to your partner....but never base a relationship on sex alone, sex is not love..do that bonding with someone you love, after a relationship is built.

 

It's not your only chance, I promise...you are VERY young. Be patient, have fun, enjoy and when it happens, it will be worth the wait.

 

As for how to tell her, just be honest but compassionate. Let her know you are flattered she wanted to do that with you, but that you feel you need to wait until you are in a serious relationship with someone, have discussed the risks, are committed to one another, and ready for it together, and you do NOT want to risk your friendship with her.

[poke]

Tell her you value her way too much to risk losing what you have this way. Be honest... tell her that years of friendship doesn't always = chemistry, and that she deserves to feel like shes the most beautiful important person in the world at that time, not just a comfortable purely physical act that is stimulated by a fear of losing your virginity some other way.

 

Sounds like you are really close, so I'm sure you will be able to work through this with her.

[Day_Walker]

Since you say that you arent attracted to her, I think that should be a clear indication that you shouldnt go through with it. I think you two have the right thinking as far as not losing your virginity to a person you dont care about but another necessary element is attraction.

[hosswhispra]

Barney,

 

I'll echo the same sentiment as the others----please don't do it. You are NOT attracted to her. Your friend probably suggested in the first place because SHE may be attracted to you---maybe she thinks that this will move your relationship to the next level. If you sleep together, this is going to confuse everything entirely. You will lose eachother's friendship---something that is not worth it.....I think you need to be honest with her...

 

hosswhispra

[ShySoul]

It is better to have sex with a friend you care about then to have it with some person you meet at a club or somewhere. But its also better to have it with someone you really are in love with and in a committed relationship with then someone who is just a friend.

 

Sex isn't something to rush into or do it because you feel like it. Sex isn't something that you plan a date and time for (unless its a wedding date). It's something that happens when the time is right, with the right person. If you are having doubts, then it isn't the right time.

[BabyGirl_1]

Bad Idea... Bad Idea.....Bad Idea!!!!!!!

You should have sex with someone you are attracted to and Love. It may seem meaningless right now because you are young and obviously bored or should I say curious. Sex has a major affect on an individually emotionally especially a female, are you sure she doesn't have stronger feelings for you and wants you to be her first? If that is the case then you are about to open a huge can of worms. Your friendship will NEVER be the same after sex, Don't do it. If I could go back in time I would have saved my virginity for someone I really liked or loved. I did it just to please the guy, and regretted it to the fullest afterward I never spoke to the guy again I was disappointed in myself. Think about it. What happens afterward?