The lack of love in my life is tearing up my soul

[MovieGuy2828]

My name is Greg. I have never been on a date, had a girlfriend, or even kissed a girl. The meaning of my life is to make other people happy. I think I'm the only guy I know who at near the age of 21 dreams of their first kiss and what it would be like, how it would proceed, and other ravenous details only a sheltered heartbroken man would think of at the time. I have been denied by either myself for being shy and not thinking of the right things to say at the right time, or being denied by the ones I have tried to be close to. This has happened time after time after time, so much to the extent that I have lost count of all my opportunities that have been lost. I think that this is so because they don't know me. If they knew I had a heart this huge and warm and infinite and would treat them like jewel encrusted gold, but also that I know not to act like that all the time, then all my problems would be solved and the girls would flock to me, but they are not, because they don't know me, because I'm too shy and scared of rejection. There is also always things that appear to "magically" come up to interfere with me finding someone.

 

I have so much love in my heart and no one to give to, I've always wanted to give it to someone, and I don't know if I ever will. The love in my heart is eternal, however the warmth in it just keeps building and building with each passing day, if you haven't seen it yet, someday you will.

 

I cant believe how many years and opportunities have gone by and I still have no girlfriend, it boggles my mind and pierces my soul like a thousand knives of fire. This pain is just too great for any mortal man to deal with. I often find myself asking, why me?

 

I really can't take this anymore, the lack of a special someone in my life is starting to eat away at my soul and damage my physical health. I have been feeling weaker, less motivated, and increasingly depressed with each day that goes by without a love In my life.

 

Years and years have gone by with me day after day after day contemplating the possibilities that today, one day, someday I might be lucky enough to get a girlfriend. Every single day the same thoughts run through my head, with no luck or love in store at the end.

 

I've wanted love so bad ever since I got my first crush that lasted 4 years. Oh god it makes me cringe with angst to think of all the opportunities I have had and lost due to my own inability to make the most out of the situation at the time, only to learn from it afterwards and never get another opportunity like it ever again.

 

I often find myself doing things to take my mind off of this horrible depression, #1 on the list has been buying DVDs, and since that privilege has now been massively reduced I find myself thinking about this a lot more.

 

I feel really insecure about myself and appearance, I mean how could I not? I have never had a girlfriend so I have no basis for which I know girls like to relate to my actions or appearance, thereforeeee my "look" is always changing and I'm sick of not knowing how to look in order to be attractive, because I know I am if I really try to be.

 

Oh the feelings I desire to the extent is burns In my soul. To hold her hand, to hold her close, make her feel as if she is the most important girl in the world, and to love her with all my heart and be loved in return. My spirit is an undying warmth that I hope to radiate to someone, someday.

 

This whole lack of love rant would be a LOT longer if there were tons of others ways to word my sadness and depression from the lack of someone special in my life. I'm holding myself back against my will in finding true love, it is something I must get over, because it is killing me inside. I want to love someone and feel loved in return. I truly feel that it would be a heavenly experience.

 

My heart is infinitely huge, and I want to give it to someone.

 

I speak as if I want true love before having a few girlfriends, and truth is I do. In my solitude listening to music, dreaming of being together with the girl I had a crush on at the time, was the only and closest times I have ever been to having someone special.

 

The best and most beautiful things in the world can't be seen, or touched, but are felt in the heart. Many times in my life instances of such beauty have occurred in a wonderful grandiose sense, especially in this existential funk I have been in as of late. I do not know what my place in life is nor do I hold the keys to everlasting happiness, at least not yet. Beauty can be dangerous if indulged at too great an amount in one or many instances and can cloud the mind in both good and bad ways. Because of this I have been conflicted lately, wondering if and or when the beauty radiated from another that have I so greatly desired will ever be radiated upon me. I know for a fact that there is beauty within me, in so many different and brilliant ways, one day the world will see that and know of the everlasting warmth in my heart.

 

My name is Greg, and I know in my heart that I have one of the most warm, loving, caring, kind, compassionate, true, and infinitely huge hearts, ever.

[Softmoonlight]

Greg, if you truly have such a big heart, it does need to be shared. However, why are you so discontented not having a girlfriend? No one should date someone else until they are complete inside. The purpose of a relationship isn't to have someone to complete you, it's to have someone to compliment you.

 

If you truly are so shy that you fear rejection so much, you should work on that. Don't let a really lovely girl pass you by because you're too scared to talk to her!

 

I really think you need some counseling to address your depression, and your need for someone else. There's nothing wrong with wanting a girlfriend, but when you have hit a depression about it, something isn't quite right.

 

Good luck to you, and know you will find the right person for you.

[itry]

ur the only holding urself back....rejection is not the end of the world.. its just the beginning of ur journey.. when u find her, she'll be worth some of the No's u come accross..

[whatdoyado]

I'll be your girl....lol...

 

WOW...the words that flow together on my computer screen speak nothing other than a guy who truly reveals his heart full of love.

 

One day your true love will meet you face to face and you find that all the love you have held inside can be released to her heart.

 

I have never kissed a guy or been on a date either. I have had boyfriends (four), but each one I wish it never happened. I haven't had a boyfriend for five years now.

 

I too wait for someone I can share that first kiss with. I know guys around your age whom have never been kissed so you are not alone.

 

If I could find a guy who would treat me the way you describe you would that would be the greatest, and I understand if he has is days, but I would treat him the same, with love.

[Resilience]

Have you ever thought that there are many girls out there who are in the same boat, waiting for a guy like you to sweep them off their feet?

 

Go out there buddy, be confident and know that it takes two to tango!

 

What doesnt hurt you can only make you a stronger person =)

[PleasehelpmeIneedit]

Movieguy, I feel EXACTLY the same way as you. I am a little younger, 17, but mentally I consider myself an adult and understand these feelings. I am stuck in the same situation, never been kissed, never had a GF, and with no hope in sight. I hope you find the right girl to complete you.

 

No one should date someone else until they are complete inside. The purpose of a relationship isn't to have someone to complete you, it's to have someone to compliment you.

 

Well in my situation, my life is complete, but its missing that key ingredient. A girl. So the way I see it, the girl will complete me. I just have to find her out there. Thats the hardest part.

[Mikhail_Scosyrev]

A sure way to get a date is to ask many girls to go out on a date with you.

 

9 may reject you, but the 10th will agree. Simple probablity.

 

 

Good luck.

 

And by the way, this same way you can get the hottest girl on the date. It just may take more tries.

 

 

Try it, overcome your fear, you don't have much to lose.

[Caldus]

My name is Greg. I have never been on a date, had a girlfriend, or even kissed a girl.

 

The more you fret over this the worse it's gonna get. Trust me.

 

The meaning of my life is to make other people happy.

 

But are you looking out for you too?

 

I think I'm the only guy I know who at near the age of 21 dreams of their first kiss and what it would be like, how it would proceed, and other ravenous details only a sheltered heartbroken man would think of at the time.

 

Eh ... it's not something to get stressed over. Trust me.

 

There is also always things that appear to "magically" come up to interfere with me finding someone.

 

Not a good mindset. There is no magic involved here.

 

I have so much love in my heart and no one to give to, I've always wanted to give it to someone, and I don't know if I ever will. The love in my heart is eternal, however the warmth in it just keeps building and building with each passing day, if you haven't seen it yet, someday you will.

 

Woah buddy hold on there. You don't ever want to wear your heart on your sleeve like that. I'm serious here. I have this feeling that when you do find a girl that she could cause you even more pain (by breaking up or whatever happens). You may not understand this now but you will when you get your heart broken.

 

I cant believe how many years and opportunities have gone by and I still have no girlfriend, it boggles my mind and pierces my soul like a thousand knives of fire. This pain is just too great for any mortal man to deal with. I often find myself asking, why me?

 

The pain is too great for any mortal man to deal with? I doubt it. No offense but you sound very desperate here. Girls sense this desperation right away and it's a major turn-off. Figure out a way to project a more confident vibe around women rather than this desperate vibe you seem to be giving off. Grab life by the balls until something comes along (harder done than said of course).

 

I really can't take this anymore, the lack of a special someone in my life is starting to eat away at my soul and damage my physical health. I have been feeling weaker, less motivated, and increasingly depressed with each day that goes by without a love In my life.

 

That's only because you allow yourself to feel this way. How is then that people like me, who are single, are in a much more content state of mind then what you described? No girl is worth this much heartache dude.

 

I've wanted love so bad ever since I got my first crush that lasted 4 years. Oh god it makes me cringe with angst to think of all the opportunities I have had and lost due to my own inability to make the most out of the situation at the time, only to learn from it afterwards and never get another opportunity like it ever again.

 

Let this stuff go man. It's the only way you're ever going to make progress. Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes and misses opportunities at some point in their life. It's impossible for someone to not miss one.

 

I often find myself doing things to take my mind off of this horrible depression, #1 on the list has been buying DVDs, and since that privilege has now been massively reduced I find myself thinking about this a lot more.

 

You need to find some more hobbies other then watching DVD's. Find a sport. Join a club. Make some friends with similar interests. Find something else to do that could attract more people into your life. Watching DVD's at home will never get you a girlfriend.

 

I feel really insecure about myself and appearance, I mean how could I not? I have never had a girlfriend so I have no basis for which I know girls like to relate to my actions or appearance, thereforeeee my "look" is always changing and I'm sick of not knowing how to look in order to be attractive, because I know I am if I really try to be.

 

Then go to the gym and work out. Improve your appearance. And it's not all about attraction when it comes to guys attracting girls. Trust me. There's a whole dimension you're missing here ... the how you make the girl feel factor (or rather your confidence). Don't get hung up over your looks. The goal here is to be comfortable under your own skin no matter what.

 

Oh the feelings I desire to the extent is burns In my soul. To hold her hand, to hold her close, make her feel as if she is the most important girl in the world, and to love her with all my heart and be loved in return. My spirit is an undying warmth that I hope to radiate to someone, someday.

 

Really though ... it's not all that much to stress over. I'm serious.

[Massari]

WOW good to know I am not the only one feels this way.. one thing I wanna assure you Movieguy is that I know this now for a fact that Your hardware(looks) isn't the problem.. your emotions takes over the logical choice ,,just like me.. I had my first date this friday... I though it went ok.. then she calls me and she is like I just wanna be friends. it breaks me apart.. I have been so depressed lately.. I am a university student and this is effecting my life.. every aspect of it .. the mistake we are making is to put this whole G/F thing priority in our lives. I still do cause can't not do it.. it hurts me.. I see my friends have one..my problem is that I treat girls too nice.. then they just see me as a friend. and my looks aren't a problem... girls tell me I am cute.. even my date did// not directly told that to a friends of mine,

we are too soft and get excited when a girl shows somewhat of an interest .. and start creating scenarios in our mind like (WOW how nice it would be if we do this or that) and that is when feelings developed over something that hasn't happen yet. I am telling you with my own experience and I dun want another brother go through the same thing.. cause it sucks it eats your soal// your heart you get depressed. i just went out one one date .. she went for my hand.. everything seems grat .. a kiss at the end.(not on the lips) and then she tells me this.. all I am sayig is that tary a few.. I tried 4 and she was the one who said yes to me.

 

claudus is sooo right here.. this is exactly what happens

Woah buddy hold on there. You don't ever want to wear your heart on your sleeve like that. I'm serious here. I have this feeling that when you do find a girl that she could cause you even more pain (by breaking up or whatever happens). You may not understand this now but you will when you get your heart broken.

[danielj]

Heh, Movieguy...I am in an almost identical situation. You are definitely not the only one.

 

Reading what you've wrote, it's actually quite amazing to me that we have many of the same thoughts and reflect on our situation the same way.

[Mikhail_Scosyrev]

I also want to add that it is important to be self-sufficient, not only for girls, which like independent and confident guys, but simply for yourself.

 

Isn't it much better to be happy and not depend on someone. It may sounds strange, but logically, everyone would choose being self-sufficient, independent because other people are not reliable.

 

If you had a hobby you could be happy with it.

Someone mentioned an interesting way of coping with a break up: "I bought a brand new car, so it cost me a lot to recover", but hey... having a new car is also great. So, you can treat yourself in a special way to make up for dissatisfaction in other parts of your life.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I also want to add that it is important to be self-sufficient, not only for girls, which like independent and confident guys, but simply for yourself.

 

Isn't it much better to be happy and not depend on someone. It may sounds strange, but logically, everyone would choose being self-sufficient, independent because other people are not reliable.

 

If you had a hobby you could be happy with it.

Someone mentioned an interesting way of coping with a break up: "I bought a brand new car, so it cost me a lot to recover", but hey... having a new car is also great. So, you can treat yourself in a special way to make up for dissatisfaction in other parts of your life.

That is not as easy as you put it if love means a ton to you and you've never experienced it, because no matter what you do or get for yourself, that void will always be there. If you've had a girlfriend or shared love with someone then you cannot relate to our pain because you've experienced what we are looking for. It's a good idea and I think Movie Guy should give it a shot, but from his words I think he will still experience the void of loving someone and having her love him back. I tried hobbies and such and nothing worked for me. i hope it works for him.

 

Movieguy, I am in the exact same situation you are in except I am 12 years older, and my suffering has given me moderately high blood pressure, stress, anxiety, depression and splitting migranes. It won't do this to a guy at 20 because he hasn't longed for a girlfriend long enough, but at 30+, it can eat at yuor soul and transform you into a shadow of your fgormer self.

 

When I was your age I had so much hope to meet someone. My city is filled with so many women, one of them must be for me... but then a few years went buy and it started to eat at me more and more and more. The older I got, the more it ate at me.

 

When I was your age

 

If you think you feel so bad now, wait until you hit your 30s and you're in the same situation... no, as a matter of fact, don't wait until you're in your 30s. Don't sit at home and sigh. Someone on this site said that if you really want a girlfriend you'll do something about it. To be fair to myself, I do not go to clubs or parties to meet women because I am painfully shy, but on the flip side, there are so many hunks in NYC, no matter how funny and confident I am, I won't get a second glance in a crowded club. I did try that and was met with colossal failure. But you, you should get your tookus out there and meet someone. But if you're too shy to do that, consider how lucky you are to have the internet as an outlet at your age. Because again, when I was your age, the internet was just a baby, if it even existed at all. They didn't have link removed or link removed (damn you eHarmony and your stinkin' commercials!!! ) or those personal sites. There was no such thing as chat rooms or sites like these. I only had the "going out to clubs and parties" option" when I was 20. By the time the internet reached my home, I was 26 but I had already reached The Last Plateau.

 

Being 20 and in your situation is sad. Being 30 and in your situation is depressing. Use the bars, the clubs, speed dating, boat trips for singles, ect. If you're too shy for that, use the internet. It is a much more powerful ally than you can imagine. Do not underestimate it. Do not take it for granted. Better yet, imagine that you didn't have the internet as an option for shyness, where would you be?

 

Right where I am: 30, single, lonely, empty, hopeless, a shadow of my former self...

[HajiMaji]

If you had a hobby you could be happy with it.

Someone mentioned an interesting way of coping with a break up: "I bought a brand new car, so it cost me a lot to recover", but hey... having a new car is also great. So, you can treat yourself in a special way to make up for dissatisfaction in other parts of your life.

 

This is a good point! Get the hobby, then as soon as you have a girl you still have the hobby! Its important to know how to life live to your personality. I love talking about emotions, so i post on enotalone. I love to be active, so my and my crew play sports once a week. I love to be creative so im constantly doing creative things.

 

Eventually the women come, and i know how it feels to desire the rommantic relationship. Its a beautiful thing, but dont let it consume you. Focus energy into other things and as soon as you get a girlfriend you will still have your big heart.

[Caldus]

I also want to add that from my own personal experience, depending on other people to get rid of your loneliness is a bad idea. They can help, but it is you in the end that can make you happy.

[Süsser Tod]

I can relate to the feeling, I was kissed for the first time when I was 23 (I'm 26 now) and man, it felt terrible...

 

 

Recently broke up with that GF, my first and only GF. I've been trying to get back to her (without success). And I know that my chances of having another GF will be the same as before, that means that I should start looking into convents or celibate as a serious option.

 

 

However, I can tell you this, a GF is not going to help you get over the loneliness and your depression. Those are signs of other issues with yourself, the lack of GF is just another symptom.

 

You should focus into fixing those issues first, and hope for the best. I know in my case there is nothing more to do (my brain is messed up, bipolar) but if you are in a better situation, you will be able to fix whatever is wrong and start living a normal life.

[nightshade19]

Listen dude.. don't feel this way about yourself.. Please.. you are just a young guy and you have your whole life ahead of you.

And not feel defensive or ashamed cuz you've never been kissed.. Listen man.. do you know how many people are running around carrying Veneral Diseases now cuz they fooled around with the wrong person or had sexual bed partners....? The numbers are staggering...

And women Do NOT want to bed or be with a guy like that.... believe me.. that's half the reason i don't date that much.. no matter how smooth he is at the lines.. They want to date a guy who's not going to give them anything.. That would be YOU!!

See it is a good thing you've been not the ladies man... if you look at it in a positive light.

Man. .i wish i was in my early 20s again... Try going out to a social setting.. church groups...a gym.. how about a biking or hiking club? anywhere that you get to interact with other people.. not necesarrily with girls.

Cuz it sounds like you spend too much time alone.. and that is not good for your soul in itself.

Have you thought about taking up an instrument?.. like the guitar... Knowing how to play the guitar has opened more doors for me.. or brought me more friends i woulnd't have had otherwise.

How about an exciting hobby. .like learning to fly? Again.. this is like a social club in itself.. besides being such an exciting thing to do... Pilot always hang out at the airport.. hangar flying...

And girls love a guy who's adventurous..

How about learning to ride a motorcycle?.. You could join a motorcycle club.

Go out of the house...

As far as your looks.. i bet you aren't half as unappealing as you think.. Why don't you go to a good hair stylist and ask them to give you a haircut that's appealing?

There's so many girls out there who would die to get to meet a guy who's sincere and loving like you... And so many who only get to meet the cads and the players.. who break their hearts and treat them like scum.

I swear.. you need to get out there man.. and let people see your stuff!!!

You have so much to offer... don't let it hide under a bush....

I'm rooting for you dude.. please don't let your life go by wishing you had done something.. It's not a good thing.. An that dude is right.. dating is like a numbers thing sometimes.. Sometimes you have to ask 3 girls out.. to get one that's willing.. It's sort of like sales.. Believe me.. i've done cold calls in sales before..you can't let the ones who say... No Way.. get to you... Just pass them by and go on to the ones who will say, Sure, I'd be interested in you!... You can do it.. I know you can.. Please keep us posted, okay?

[Caldus]

Sometimes you have to ask 3 girls out..

 

Sometimes much more than that...

[Süsser Tod]

And girls love a guy who's adventurous..

How about learning to ride a motorcycle?.. You could join a motorcycle club.

 

 

Hobbies sound great to atract the oposite sex, right? WRONG!!! There are hobbies that are dominated by males, motorcycles is one of those. I've found that the riding environment is exactly the same as my work environment, like 50 males per 1 female...

 

 

I ride motorcycles, I LOVE riding, in fact, I don't use my car anymore. How many females I've known in my 2 years of riding, because of it, 0.

[Shinobie]

Ya i feel the same way only imma stupid youngin and dont know how the heck it would feel at that age.....People say looks dont matter....But i dont really believe that for a second...U say looks dont start things but i disagree.My friend that all the girls think is really hot had a girl come up to him and said "i noticed that your really hot".YA how easy is that to get a girl or start off a conversation.And one time he said the dumbest pick up line in the world and the girl just giggled.Say if a guy like me or my other bad looking friends said that to her she would just look away in disgust.I believe the problem for many of us single guys that been single for a long time is that we look bad.I have not had one girl in my whole entire life that has been interested in me,none.And i wonder if its the same for and of u guys that has had nothing their whole life?The reason some of us guys want a gf is the reason that we want somebody that could tell us that they love us and so we can tell them we love them.One that can say ur beautiful in their eyes.One u can someday marry and have kids with and love them with.Thats what i see the point of life is not some successful job or anything.I mean yes something good to support ur family.I find that a LOT of the human race is shallow and its very hard for bad looking people to get someone to love in life.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

My friend that all the girls think is really hot had a girl come up to him and said "i noticed that your really hot".YA how easy is that to get a girl or start off a conversation.

Exactly! How many girls say, "Hi, I noticed that you are really confident!" Excellent conversation starter.

[Derek]

Well, looks matter and don't matter in some ways.

Looks are more than just the physical, it can include the way a person carries themselves, how they use what they've got, how they take care of themselves. Even if a guy doesn't have a GQ face, if he pays attention to what he wears/shoes/haircut. Just knowing that you are "paying attention" is what girls like, they don't neccessarily care what you look like.

 

If your social circles wear such and such (jeans or piercings), you could try to wear ____ (jeans or piercings ) just a tad notch above the rest of them.

 

But personally I think being yourself and not conforming to the group shows more confidence in yourself in the end.

 

Making your life an adventure that girls want to join up with is what counts.

You need a life that is interesting enough that girls want to hop onto your gravy train.

 

Is your life a gravy train yet? No? Then quite worrying about girls and worry about yourself first. If you build a life, the girls will come.

 

Get some interests that require a bit of interaction with other people if possible. But try more things and get more interests in any case. Even if they aren't all social things. Because the more experiences you collect, the more stories you have to share, the more confidence you'll have in various situations.

 

Like have you tried para sailing, or kayaking, or biking, or rollerblading, or texas hold em poker, or carpentry classes or cooking or dancing/salsa classes, or perhaps camping or racing dragsters, or tuning and pimping rides, kite flying, surfing, hiking. Many girls would like partners for jogging or hiking/biking. Casual team sports like softball or volleyball might be a start.

Whatever your interests, do them and do them well. Girls like a passionate guy, they like to see a guy be competent at something.

I bet girls were attracted to Ken Jennings once they saw what he was good at and he was excelling at it, even if he is the epitomy of geek-dom.

( Then again now he's worth 2+ million )

 

You are worrying about what girls think too much. Forget about their opinion for now. Just get out and get collecting more memories and experiences for yourself. Every single one become a part of you, helps you grow and makes you a more interesting and colorful person.

 

 

Thems my thoughts yo,

 

 

 

P.S. I forgot to add, if you are shy, the best way to overcome it is practice in steps. Talk to everyone, young and old, smile to everyone, stranger or not. Talk to guys, talk to girls. Learn the art of small talk about light topics. Almost everyone needs that "warm-up" talk about superficial crap to get into the deep stuff you really want to share that you mentioned. Eventually talking to girls within your age bracket who are attrative and potentials should not be as scary as it is now.

[Kyoshiro Ogari]

I would really love to get the original poster's opinion on this. You offered some great advice that unfortunately is not easy to follow. There are some, like myself, who are sick of living for self and only self. We want someone there with us. Living for us just isn't fun anymore. Not in the suicidal way but in the "I'm not having fun because she is not here" kind of way. I have been in this mindset all my life, but it's dominated my thinking for the past 10 years… at his age. I cannot remember the last time I had fun at a place where there were couples. Picnics? Ball Games? The Park? Parties? Clubs? All of these places remind us that we are incredibly lonely. When you said for him/us to go out there and collect more memories and experiences for himself/ourselves, it is difficult to do so and have fun.

 

But what you said about doing more activities is great advice. I just have a feeling that until that special someone walks into our lives while we are pursuing these activities, having fun will be difficult. I know, because I've tried.

[Caldus]

Kyo, I can understand how you feel since you are in your thirties and still have never had a girlfriend. I can see how that would frustrate you. But you have to take other peoples' advice here and execute it. You will not, and I mean will not, ever have any women in your life unless you have the kind of life that girls want to be a part of. Do girls want to sit around with you and watch TV and movies all day? Do girls want to sit around the house or at work and never socialize with anyone? Most probably don't. Find some new hobbies. Anything. Martial arts, going to the library, swimming, a sport, the gym, maybe a dance class or a class at a community college (art, etc.), other interest clubs, maybe a club at your church if you go to church, or anything else where you can start socializing with more people.

 

Think about it, if you sit at home a lot and rarely go out and meet people, how are you going to get a girlfriend or even any friends? You will find that most people these days are receptive to your hi's or eye contacting/smiling with other people. Start with that Kyo. Make yourself a goal to eye contact/smile/say hi to at least 50 people. Go out to a big public place like the mall and just perform this exercise for about an hour. Start with guys and girls you aren't attracted to if you must. Then work your way up to the more attractive ones. I guarantee you will have more confidence at the end of this exercise.

 

After that, have next week's goal be to start conversations with strangers. This can be done while you join new clubs and have new hobbies. By then you will develop enough confidence to start meeting women too I'm pretty sure. If not then keep meeting new people and work on your self-esteem and eventually you will have enough courage to start doing so.

 

Sorry for the essay, but Kyo this is the best advice I can give you seeing as how I am still recovering from shyness myself. I am much better than I used to be these days and that's because I got new hobbies, started going to the gym and working out, going to the pool, etc. but still working on it all. I hope you will start taking action Kyo (and the original poster too).

[ShySoul]

The solution is simple:

 

Stop worrying about finding love, and start loving yourself.

 

The more focused you are how lonely you are and how much you wish you had someone special in your life, the more depressed and lonely you will be. When you focus on something ad nausem, your more likely to get further from your goal. Your to far into the forest to see the trees. Take a step back. Forget girls. Forget dates. Forget love. There is more to life then that. Be happy with you, cause I see alot of people who aren't truly happy with themselves right now. Once you do that, it won't be long before girls are flocking to you. I tell you, I never had any girl notice me and it got me very depressed. Then I said forget it, I love myself and if they don't then too bad. I stopped hoping for love, and starting focusing on being happy with myself. Then a girl noticed me. And another. And another.

 

I get that going places alone makes you feel lonely, I still feel that. But its a matter of asking yourself what is more powerful, what do you want to control your life: the feelings of lonliness or your love of the person you are?

[Caldus]

Wise words once again ShySoul. Also want to add though that if you do what I suggested above in conjunction with the acknowledgement to work on loving yourself as he said, believe me you will starting getting more girls to notice you. It's so cliche I know but it really does happen. I bet a lot of people on here can prove it. I'm curious Kyo, do you practice congruency? In other words, are the words you say to someone, your body language, and your attitude all saying the same thing when interacting with someone? That is important too and work on that. Good first impressions are important these days so be sure to work on the ability to give out good vibes when interacting with people.