Confused on what to do

[Christmas07]

I am 24 years and in a kind of situation with a 30 year old guy… we call and talk just fine with long phone calls but whenever I try to text him the convos are relatively short at times I send multiple texts and he replies with smiling emojis only he’s a fast responder on texts. I don’t know if he’s a calls over texts guy or he’s just not interested in me, like he’s leading me on. We haven’t known each other for long but we have had multiple times hanging out and it’s been good but I don’t want to fall for him while he’s not there. I don’t know if I should move on from him or what.

 

[Batya33]

Are you meeting up for sex? What do you do when you "hang out?" -maybe he doesn't like texting or he's with another date and/or busy when you randomly text and why are you texting? I'd limit texts to making or confirming one of your hangout plans.  Are you sure he is single? I think maybe you're leading yourself on/lying -settling for "hang outs" when you want more.

[TeeDee]

He's a calls over text guy.  I know this is surprising to a lot of people who love texts but some people hate it. 

Asses the quality of your relationship based on your in person encounters only.  If this is good, there is a basis to invest.  Text messages mean nothing, especially do no judge a relationship by the quantity or quality (emojis v paragraphs) of those messages. 

[Wiseman2]

5 hours ago, Christmas07 said:

 whenever I try to text him the convos are relatively short at times I send multiple texts and he replies with smiling emojis only. we have had multiple times hanging out and it’s been good but I don’t want to fall for him while he’s not there. 

How long have you been seeing each other? Are you interested in just hanging out or dating or a relationship? 

Texting is not dating nor a measurement of interest. Please stop sending multiple texts. No one likes to be text tethered or spammed. 

How are things in person? 

[smackie9]

I know what you are asking....is he truly invested in you. Do you feel friends zoned because you are just hanging out? Why not amp things up to dating/relationship level or at least mention it and see how receptive he is then. 

[catfeeder]

Sounds like the texts reach him when he's busy, but with phone calls he can position himself to be alone.

Not everyone likes conversations over texts.

Are you sure he's single? He might be with a date or partner when your texts come in.

[ShySoul]

Is there any other reason you would be thinking of moving on from him? Because a person not writing detailed texts doesn't seem like a substantial reason to call it quits. I don't text at all as I prefer actually talking and hearing a persons voice. And I always thought the point of text was a short, quick message. Long messages are for emails. Regardless, I don't think I would be very happy if someone rejected me based solely on my preferred communication style.

Rather then focus on one thing, look at the entire relationship. Do you enjoy spending time together? Do you have a lot in common - similar interests or values? Does he overall treat you well, with kindness and respect? Do you make each other smile and laugh? Does he make the effort to spend time with you, finding ways to show he is thinking of you? Those are the things that matter. If he's making an effort to do those things, then he is showing he's there. And those things are far more meaningful and touching then any length of text.

[Christmas07]

On 3/28/2024 at 1:05 PM, TeeDee said:

He's a calls over text guy.  I know this is surprising to a lot of people who love texts but some people hate it. 

Asses the quality of your relationship based on your in person encounters only.  If this is good, there is a basis to invest.  Text messages mean nothing, especially do no judge a relationship by the quantity or quality (emojis v paragraphs) of those messages. 

Thank you for your response it has me thinking you may be right because in real life we talk real good and phone calls are even longer and engaging

[Batya33]

1 minute ago, Christmas07 said:

Thank you for your response it has me thinking you may be right because in real life we talk real good and phone calls are even longer and engaging

Watch the feet -not the lips - what he does not what he says -is he making plans with you regularly or responding enthusiastically to plans you suggest? Are you good with "hanging out" or perhaps if he were planning proper dates you wouldn't be harping on how he uses text over phone?

[kim42]

Did you talk to him about what he's looking for? Are you only hanging out as friends or did you kiss?

Not everyone likes texting, so I think it's more important how he treats you when you are together.