Mother of my childrens future opinion on me

[AA1994]

I have been acting like a desperate weird person since my ex of 9 years left me. Will she always see me this way now?

i begged for the first two weeks, i also got drunk in town one night and was stood at the end of a bridge which was absolutely ridicolous, she knows about this through family and initally was really worried about me. Was a selfish cry for help but I shouldnt be this emotionally unstable.  I also turned up to our family home and wanted answers to whether there was someone else involved which was totally out of order as it wasnt my turn to be at the house. I know im not well, we have children and i need to man up and be there for them. Since then she has blocked me on everything and told me to only contact her about the kids which is totally understandable. It has only been 5 weeks but the healing process doesnt seem like i am letting it work. I just wondered if she will always see me as an inferior weak emotional mess or if i can regain respect and admiration from the mother of my children? When i am around the children i feel brilliant, its when i am alone that I cant cope. I am getting the help i need

[Batya33]

No one can know that.  You don't need to man up.  You need to work toward being a mature adult who can co-parent safely and effectively. Individuals take individual time to get over being harassed - she is a victim and you are a victim of your illness -or you were.  She may never get over it.  I'd consider it a huge win if she is willing to abide by the custody arrangements and give you access to the children and not fight it.  I'm sorry you are struggling and good for you for getting  help -keep up the good work!

[AA1994]

15 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

No one can know that.  You don't need to man up.  You need to work toward being a mature adult who can co-parent safely and effectively. Individuals take individual time to get over being harassed - she is a victim and you are a victim of your illness -or you were.  She may never get over it.  I'd consider it a huge win if she is willing to abide by the custody arrangements and give you access to the children and not fight it.  I'm sorry you are struggling and good for you for getting  help -keep up the good work!

I know, she’s been on the phone to my family i have really scared her. I just seem to be struggling to keep emotions at bay. Luckily so far shes still letting me have the kids, they mean the world to me and i want to be the best dad i can be. 

[Seraphim]

What will impress her most is you being the best dad you can be to your kids. 

[Coily]

As it's been 5 weeks you are just on the start of your journey. Give yourself some credit for the work you have started. Putting your focus on your kids is the right thing, and over time that will make the best impression. 

Keep on, you'll do well where it counts, your kids.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, AA1994 said:

, i also got drunk in town one night and was stood at the end of a bridge which was absolutely ridicolous, she knows about this through family and initally was really worried about me. Was a selfish cry for help but I shouldnt be this emotionally unstable.  

Please check into an appropriate detox and rehabilitation facility. You are a danger to yourself and your family. 

[smackie9]

I'm glad you are getting help....hang in there, the storm will soon end. You are a survivor. 

[Capricorn3]

10 hours ago, AA1994 said:

I know, she’s been on the phone to my family i have really scared her. I just seem to be struggling to keep emotions at bay. Luckily so far shes still letting me have the kids, they mean the world to me and i want to be the best dad i can be. 

Have you considered counseling/therapy?   Sounds like you need some professional help.

[boltnrun]

4 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

Have you considered counseling/therapy?   Sounds like you need some professional help.

He said this, however it's not clear what type of help he's referring to.

15 hours ago, AA1994 said:

I am getting the help i need

 

[Capricorn3]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

He said this, however it's not clear what type of help he's referring to.

 

Thank you. Yes, I saw that but it was so vague. Hopefully he'll clarify for us.

[AA1994]

3 hours ago, Capricorn3 said:

Thank you. Yes, I saw that but it was so vague. Hopefully he'll clarify for us.

Yeah thats what i am doing, ive got online therapy courses and have weekly phone calls with a therapist.