Was I love bombed ??

[Ally smith]

So I was talking to this man for weeks now everyday back to back making myself available to him( which was my mistake) . This man would literally call me 24/7 at work, home, grocery store…. Anyways he would beg me to FT sleep with him as well. Which I declined. He would get mad when I had to take another call, or need the phone convo with him. I  decided to go on a date with him, we get there and he’s super rude to the waitress “telling me to act like my real self basically negging me on the first date”. That date lasted 6 hours were we did make out. Before that date he basically told me to cut off who I was talking to to focus on “us “ and if I didn’t do that, then he would be done with this situation. He told me he cut everyone else off so it’s only fair that I did the same. 


I told him that I don’t commit to a man that I just started seeing. I told him I don’t like to rush things.. he then decided to want to take me on a date the day after which I declined yet he kept pushing it. We ended up hanging out the next day for pretty much for the rest of the afternoon 7hours . We did kiss again and cuddle. He then preceded to tell me that we’re exclusive and that he likes me too much for me to go out and talk to other men. He then gave me an ultimatum. To either cut off everyone I’m seeing or be done with him. “I asked him how would he know if I’m talking to other men”? He said “we talk 24/7 so if you’re not talking to me then I’ll know”…. He also told me if I were to go out with my girls and a man comes up to me that “I knew what to do, to respect him” ???? Keep in mind we’ve only had two dates… 

He wanted to hangout with me again that week so three dates in one week kinda back to back. 

I jokingly told him that I went on another date recently.. he got super angry and told me that he didn’t like being played with and that he wanted to just end this and not talk ever again…. He then canceled our date. 
 

[shouldhavelearned]

Be glad.

To controlling

 

Move on 

[Wiseman2]

38 minutes ago, Ally smith said:

…. He then canceled our date. 

Sorry this happened. Jump for joy that he cancelled the date. Please read up on red flags for controlling and abusive relationships.  Phone tethering, possessive, jealous, obnoxious, angry, isolation and the list goes on. Please delete and block him ASAP. 

[Starlight925]

He wanted to FaceTime with you while you sleep?  Oh. My.

Yes, be glad he cancelled.  Very glad.  And.....block.

[MissCanuck]

Why were you even still talking to this clown?

Where are your standards, girl? You should have shut this down the first time he started showing you controlling tendencies, not proceeded to go on two dates with him. 

 

[Kwothe28]

Quote

Was I love bombed ??

I think people use that term "willie- nillie". For example, "love bombing" would be if he lavished you with attention and affection. Send you flowers, talked how much he loves you etc.

While you just encountered very rude, very possesive man. Who just wanted you all by himself and harassed you to the point he wouldnt take "No" for an answer and got mad at you when he didnt get answers he wanted.

[Batya33]

Ask yourself -if a woman you just met acted this way (not the sex stuff but demanding you facetime, demanding you respond at all hours) what would you do as far as seeing her as a potential friend -or even acquaintance?

[Ally smith]

20 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

Why were you even still talking to this clown?

Where are your standards, girl? You should have shut this down the first time he started showing you controlling tendencies, not proceeded to go on two dates with him. 

 

So do you think I was played ??? Because he was just bored ? 

[Wiseman2]

1 minute ago, Ally smith said:

So do you think I was played ??? Because he was just bored ? 

You weren't played, you decided to overlook giant red flags, which you saw. 

[Capricorn3]

Just now, Wiseman2 said:

You weren't played, you decided to overlook giant red flags, which you saw. 

^ THIS. ^

[Ice Queen 2.0]

oooooohhhhh goodness! I have a headache after reading this!

That dude was delusional, sick, manipulative, toxic, clingy, controlling, mind playing, game trying haha. He acts like you’re his world and suffocate you and all, but dude knows a lot of girls/women want that type of attention. 

At the end he canceled the date to see your reaction and if you didn’t care, then that will crush him like you just stomp on a roach! Ahhh the feeling is amazing! 

Those type of men do that to a ton of girls at once. He had been played, badly mistreated and he is a bad person, so he gets bitter when he can’t make the opposite sex to be hung up on him.

Please stay away. Block. Change your number. Fool is sick in the head! 

 

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, Ally smith said:

So do you think I was played ??? Because he was just bored ? 

No. He was very clear what kind of controlling jerk he was. 

You decided to go along with that. Why? 

[SooSad33]

Love bombed? I say more like terrorized! 😕 

This is a controlling manipulator!  Screams RUN for the hills girl!  Never give people like this any sort of control.. Red flags are raised to the hilt..  Realize this!

Avoid people like this, totally!  They do not own you or control you.

 

[Ally smith]

1 hour ago, Ice Queen 2.0 said:

oooooohhhhh goodness! I have a headache after reading this!

That dude was delusional, sick, manipulative, toxic, clingy, controlling, mind playing, game trying haha. He acts like you’re his world and suffocate you and all, but dude knows a lot of girls/women want that type of attention. 

At the end he canceled the date to see your reaction and if you didn’t care, then that will crush him like you just stomp on a roach! Ahhh the feeling is amazing! 

Those type of men do that to a ton of girls at once. He had been played, badly mistreated and he is a bad person, so he gets bitter when he can’t make the opposite sex to be hung up on him.

Please stay away. Block. Change your number. Fool is sick in the head! 

 

He sent me a picture of another woman on “accident” and wanted me to get mad about it ? He kept asking me “are you upset, do you want me to explain” … 

[Ally smith]

1 hour ago, SooSad33 said:

Love bombed? I say more like terrorized! 😕 

This is a controlling manipulator!  Screams RUN for the hills girl!  Never give people like this any sort of control.. Red flags are raised to the hilt..  Realize this!

Avoid people like this, totally!  They do not own you or control you.

 

It’s been a week he hasn’t tried to contact me 

[poorlittlefish]

1 hour ago, Ally smith said:

It’s been a week he hasn’t tried to contact me 

That's because he's moved onto his next victim(s) - be very glad about this.  Never go on a second date with someone who's shown worrying behaviour in the first (and especially do not make out with him).  Use what's happened as a learning opportunity but above all, raise your standards.

[Ally smith]

8 hours ago, poorlittlefish said:

That's because he's moved onto his next victim(s) - be very glad about this.  Never go on a second date with someone who's shown worrying behaviour in the first (and especially do not make out with him).  Use what's happened as a learning opportunity but above all, raise your standards.

So he was never into me??

[boltnrun]

9 minutes ago, Ally smith said:

So he was never into me??

Why is that your take on this toxic situation?  Why aren't you glad he's leaving you alone?

[MissCanuck]

12 hours ago, MissCanuck said:

You decided to go along with that. Why? 

Is there a reason you're avoiding this question, @Ally smith?

[HeartGoesOn]

You dodged a bullet.   In the meantime, watch your back.

[Sindy_0311]

3 hours ago, Ally smith said:

So he was never into me??

Oh please… 

[Ally smith]

46 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Oh please… 

 

46 minutes ago, Sindy_0311 said:

Oh please… 

What ???

[Ally smith]

3 hours ago, HeartGoesOn said:

You dodged a bullet.   In the meantime, watch your back.

What do you mean watch your back ? 

[Wiseman2]

On 11/16/2023 at 8:50 PM, Ally smith said:

  This man would literally call me 24/7 at work, home, grocery store…. Anyways he would beg me to FT sleep with him as well.  he’s super rude to the waitress “telling me to act like my real self basically negging me on the first date”. 

Sounds like parole from prison being monitored like this, not "love bombing". He also seems like a rude jerk.  Is he in some sort of BDSM bikers culture where you would have to have "property of....." tattooed on you? 

Hopefully you'll get a good profile and pics on quality paid dating apps with good screening and matching tools and start talking to and meeting men without this many red flags. 

[Batya33]

He was into you. He was interested in getting your attention and in you ceding to all his demands.He may have been into having sex with you as long as you did what you were told. 
Was this stranger you met a few times in person  into you as a human being in order to get to know you appropriately? Obviously not. Isn’t it obvious? Do you really want to be with someone who treats you as he did. Who is rude to wait staff ? Why do you care if a rude jerk is into you ??