Multiple Partners

[speak]

So there’s this guy. We started seeing each other sexually last week. His divorce was finalized then too. But he told me today he’s also knocking boots with two other women. He said he’s having multiple partners because he doesn’t want to get too attached to one person. I told him due to health reasons I prefer to remove myself from being sexual with him. 
 

is he trying to fill a void? Will not having me make him desire me more? 

[Wiseman2]

6 minutes ago, speak said:

. I told him due to health reasons I prefer to remove myself from being sexual with him. 

How did you meet?  How long have you been seeing each other? Are you looking for a relationship or FWB situation? You made the right decision. Please get tested for STDs.  As far as "desiring you more", what matters most is agreeing to be sexually exclusive or not. In this case he prefers to prowl around. 

[speak]

We met at my work. I Do

like him. He initially said he wanted a companion. I thought that would be me. Maybe I was wrong. 

[reinventmyself]

1 hour ago, speak said:

But he told me today he’s also knocking boots with two other women. He said he’s having multiple partners because he doesn’t want to get too attached to one person.

If he was really interested in you he wouldn't risk losing you by sharing this with you.  He's basically letting you know he isn't interested in getting attached to you either.

Stick to your boundaries.   It's better for your self esteem in the long run.

 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, speak said:

We met at my work. I Do i like him. He initially said he wanted a companion. I thought that would be me. Maybe I was wrong. 

Perhaps you misunderstood the term "companion"? He's just looking for no strings sex. If you're not, you're incompatible. Do you still work with him? Generally, it's better to avoid messy workplace romances. 

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, speak said:

is he trying to fill a void?

Possibly. He is divorced now so maybe he tries to sleep with has much as women as possible.

1 hour ago, speak said:

Will not having me make him desire me more? 

No, just no. Its a common misconception that if we make a distance between somebody how that somebody will miss us. For example, lots of people who go "no contact" with somebody are doing that with that misconception in mind. He only wanted sex. If he ever comes back, it would be because he misses sex. Not to be with you. Because if his intentions were to be with you, he wouldnt go around, having multiple partners and even be so open to you about it. 

[Batya33]

I think he's being honest with you so you don't get emotionally attached. Not your job to analyze him -just in general humans move towards pleasure and away from pain.  He's telling you right now he gets pleasure having intercourse with multiple women.  No he won't "want you more" if you withhold -he told you because he doesn't want you for a potential relationship and he doesn't want to lead you on.  He does want you to be one of his sex partners.

[lostandhurt]

Who cares what he is filling?  That is his issue isn't it?

He is fresh out of a marriage and just having fun with who ever will let him bang them.  People do it all the time but rarely are those people emotionally ready or healthy enough to be in any kind of relationship or agreement like FWB.  Basically they are still figuring things out.

You totally did the right thing but hey at least he was honest with you so you could make an informed choice. 

 I am sure there are tons of guys out there that would love to be your companion what ever you meant by that but this guy isn't for you.

 Lost

[Jaunty]

"Seeing someone sexually" sounds to me like NSA sex.   If you wanted to get to know him and let him know you, dating would have been a good way to get started.  

Now, you've found out that he has multiple sex partners.  There's nothing wrong with it but you would have benefitted from learning he was into that before starting a sexual relationship with him.   

Anyway, this guy is into NSA sex with multiple people.  He's not interested in having a monogamous relationship with you.  You're not interested in being one of several sex partners.  So ... move on.  

Tip:  Stuff like this is best left out of the workplace.

[Lambert]

Of course he's filling a void.  he's divorced, doesn't want to be in a relationship, wants sex and is honest enough to tell you the truth. 

Walk away from this man. I can respect someone's honesty but you're not compatible at all. you're not looking for the same thing.  it's the number one thing needed in a relationship.  he doesn't want a relationship. so there is none. 

Withholding sex to increase desire is game playing which never leads to long term happiness.

Put your effort into men that are looking for what you also want.  They are the ones worth your time.  This guy is not. 

[shouldhavelearned]

Ask him