How to tell if he is interested in me or not?

[nics091]

OK, so in reality, I know that nobody can truly answer this question but him. However, I would like to get some other perspectives on this. I have known this guy for a while who lives in my area (about a year)  and recently at a party he told me that he has liked me for a while and would like to take me on a date. I really like him too so I was very happy. We exchanged numbers, and he asked me to go for dinner with him to local restaurant. But on the day, he said he was very tired from work and could we rearrange. This was a week ago and he has not rearranged a date. At the time, I said it was fine because I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. He messages me really sweet things about how he likes me, but then doesn't reply to my responses for at least 5 hours, sometimes even a day, then talks to me like everything is fine and there was no delay. It's difficult to have a conversation with someone who leaves 5 hours to a day between texts. I know he has been ill recently so this could have something to do with it. When he texts me, he is always asking how I am and how my day has been, sometimes saying that he misses me. I feel like he would reply much quicker if he genuinely did like me.  How do I interpret this? Any ideas for how I should proceed? Thanks in advance 🙂 w

[SherrySher]

He may just be a bad texter. Some people aren't great at texting, or messaging and might not reply right away.

It doesn't have an impact on their interest in you.

If he's not been well, give it a bit more time before you write him off. 

You can always write to him as well and ask him if he'd be open to doing something this weekend. 🙂

[Sindy_0311]

35 minutes ago, nics091 said:

sometimes saying that he misses me.

How is that? How much time did you spend together? Is he just a guy you happened to see at events or did you engage before that party?  Also curious about the party. Did he drink during that party? Because guys are often more direct/spontaneous when they drink, doesn’t necessarily mean they are into you like that… 

Also have to say that guys are often ill just after you meet them… mostly if their interest is low… I hope it’s not the case with that one… 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, nics091 said:

 We exchanged numbers, and he asked me to go for dinner with him to local restaurant. But on the day, he said he was very tired from work and could we rearrange.  he is always asking how I am and how my day has been, sometimes saying that he misses me. 

Is he in another relationship? This isn't about reply times, this is about he never actually asks you out but tells you he "misses you"? How can he miss you if he refuses to get together? 

Step back. Don't initiate. If he texts again ask when you're going to get together. If he cancels or sidesteps again, consider him a timewaster. 

[MissCanuck]

1 hour ago, nics091 said:

It's difficult to have a conversation with someone who leaves 5 hours to a day between texts

Keep in mind that not everyone likes to use texting to have convesations. It's one thing to exchange some messages or set up plans, but to have a conversation by messaging can be tedious and too time-consuming when you've got life going on. 

I'd avoid getting too attached to texting, and instead see if he actually makes a plan to meet. If not, I would write him off. 

 

[Kwothe28]

1 hour ago, nics091 said:

How do I interpret this? Any ideas for how I should proceed?

I would say that since he canceled the date and not rearranged it, that he has somebody else in mind. And that he keeps you there as a reserve in case that somebody doesnt work out. OK, maybe he is trully ill, but seems more like a convenient excuse then anything else.

[kim42]

After he asked to rearange, did you tell him me which days you were free to see him?

You can simply ask him if he wants to meet this weekend and see how he reacts. Otherwise he can waste your time texting without making real plans.

[Jaunty]

Obviously he's not interested enough to reschedule your date, or else he would have.  Since he asked you in the first place, clearly he's not too shy or anything like that.

With regards to all the texting - that qualifies as nonsense, in my opinion.  You've never even gone on a date, so "missing" you seems kind of silly.  Even if he texted you back quicker than 5 hours after you responded - that really doesn't mean a thing.  Actually rescheduling a date that he cancelled and spending time in real life with you is how he will show interest.

[rainbowsandroses]

3 hours ago, nics091 said:

We exchanged numbers, and he asked me to go for dinner with him to local restaurant. But on the day, he said he was very tired from work and could we rearrange. This was a week ago and he has not rearranged a date.

^^Time waster.  Don't bother.  

Jmo but if more women would heed to such obvious red flags, they'd save themselves a lot of time and unnecessary angst.

Either he's not interested or has anxiety or other issues that prevent him from actually going through with the date and/or even rescheduling another.

Either way, waste of time and energy.

Next.

[smackie9]

The guy has been ill. Lots of men become big babies when they have the flu, etc and act like they are on death's door. I think it's just bad timing. He's sick and is doing his best to keep in contact. Give it another week and see how things go. 

[top bloke]

If he was that interested he would be climbing up walls to get to you.  Its nice when someone says they like you but if they dont make the effort do yoursef a favour and disapear

[nics091]

Hi everyone, thank you so much for the advice. So I decided to give him a second chance when he arranged a second date...and surprise surprise, he did not show up the second time either. He stopped texting me for a while, then started again out of the blue a week later. I decided that he was not worth my time, so ignored his messages and only replied brief one or two-word responses to important messages about work (we work together). I also tried to avoid him as much as possible at work. Fast forward to now, I just met a new guy and have started going on a few dates with him. He is clearly very interested in me. Now, the ex-crush is messaging me a lot (which I am not replying to), being super nice to me, finding reasons to be near me at work, trying really hard to get in with my friend group and trying even harder to befriend my new guy. What's up with that. So confusing