I dont know where i am with my crush

[boltnrun]

If someone I liked suggested getting together I would probably get that little flutter (you know what I mean!) and message him back saying "I'd love to, how does Tuesday sound?" I wouldn't be "too busy" or sit on a reply for days.

Now there are legit reasons, such as train travel (where you often don't get service) or moving or a health issue or family emergency. But other than that? If she wants to see you she will respond. 

[NighttimeNightmare]

10 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

 

If someone I liked suggested getting together I would probably get that little flutter (you know what I mean!) and message him back saying "I'd love to, how does Tuesday sound?" I wouldn't be "too busy" or sit on a reply for days.

 

Right, but the key there is “someone you like.”  They’ve known each other for 3 years and haven’t been out etc so she very likely doesn’t share in his crush.  That doesn’t mean he can’t win her over during a date and making his interest known 

 

you guys are sort of acting like because she isn’t all giddy it’s all over for him. Of course she isn’t giddy and overly enthusiastic, she probably doesn’t see him that way.  There’s definitely people in my life I’ve never been super enthusiastic about but over time of getting to know them my opinion has changed.  It’s a possibility for him, but as I said, I personally think he should either (a) move on or (b) be incredibly direct about his intentions once she’s in his city working. Move it from an online thing to an in person thing.  
 

it’s been 3 years already. Sh*t or get off the pot 

[Mlap]

1 hour ago, NighttimeNightmare said:

It’s all hard to say. You’re the one in direct contact with her so no one can with 100% accuracy guide what you “should say” or not

 

for instance, if someone texted me “nice you can text me if you have time next week,” I’d likely feel like they weren’t interested in talking to me really. Like “don’t rly want to talk now but you can have the burden of hitting me up next week ‘if you want’”. It’s a weird thing to say. But maybe in the context of your text with her it wasn’t? 
 

I tend to agree with @Wiseman2s comments here.  Why not have just talked and kept in touch then asked her our once she got to your city and was settled in with work? I mean, she didn’t say “no.” 
 

I personally don’t think she’s too terribly interested in you and it’s prob because the convos lack any sort of chemistry.  You should date people who you have a stimulating connection with. You say you’ve been crushing on her for 3 years. How so?  The idea of her? Because it seems the reality you have with her is actually very bland. How haven’t you built up any sort of a rapport in 3 years? Maybe time to move on and find a girl you’ve got chemistry with 

The thing is she has already started working here , but she isnt moving away from her village.

I have been crushing on her for 3 years, but i havent started texting her until a year ago

yeah she probably isnt that interested, but our texts have had their chemistry. Also i doubt its just the idea of her i ve known her for a while and we shared the same hobby, she is just a happy presence whenever i see her and overall i know her a fair bit.

 

[Mlap]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

If someone I liked suggested getting together I would probably get that little flutter (you know what I mean!) and message him back saying "I'd love to, how does Tuesday sound?" I wouldn't be "too busy" or sit on a reply for days.

Now there are legit reasons, such as train travel (where you often don't get service) or moving or a health issue or family emergency. But other than that? If she wants to see you she will respond. 

To be fair my answer to her text wasnt that good and i left the ball in her court but only half, i partly told her to plan a date i asked her for.

[Mlap]

Okay i texted her „heyy i hope work is good so far. If you would like we can meet next wednesday at 4 pm to drink a coffee. Let me know if it works for you😊“

[boltnrun]

Yay! Either way you will hopefully get an answer. Good job. 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Mlap said:

Okay i texted her „heyy i hope work is good so far. If you would like we can meet next wednesday at 4 pm to drink a coffee. Let me know if it works for you😊“

How do you know this exact specific time even works for her? Hopefully she agrees or reschedules but in the future try to find a mutually agreeable time rather than just convenient for you.

[NighttimeNightmare]

37 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

How do you know this exact specific time even works for her?

He doesn’t. That’s why he said, “let me know if it works for you”

[catfeeder]

8 hours ago, Mlap said:

Okay i texted her „heyy i hope work is good so far. If you would like we can meet next wednesday at 4 pm to drink a coffee. Let me know if it works for you😊“

Terrific! Fingers are crossed for you.

[Mlap]

So 5 days and still no response, i guess thats where i move on. I even saw her at a restaurant where she works a side job, but besides a few glimpses nothing happened.

[Batya33]

35 minutes ago, Mlap said:

So 5 days and still no response, i guess thats where i move on. I even saw her at a restaurant where she works a side job, but besides a few glimpses nothing happened.

I’m sorry. Yes I’d move on. 

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, Mlap said:

So 5 days and still no response, i guess thats where i move on. I even saw her at a restaurant where she works a side job, but besides a few glimpses nothing happened.

Sorry this happened. It's good you gave it a shot. You can still leave the door open and move forward at the same time. Do you live near where she works?

[Mlap]

Im not sure where exactly she is working, but i dont think i live close

[boltnrun]

7 minutes ago, Mlap said:

Im not sure where exactly she is working, but i dont think i live close

You said you saw her at the restaurant where she works. 

[Mlap]

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

You said you saw her at the restaurant where she works. 

Thats her side job, i think she only works there when they have a lot of guests on the weekend. From her side job its a 30 minute drive to me.

I meant her main job which is in my city

[MissCanuck]

You need to put this girl behind you, OP. 

Her interest level just isn't high enough. 

[Mlap]

1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

You need to put this girl behind you, OP. 

Her interest level just isn't high enough. 

Yeah, i will.

[Mlap]

anyways, thank you guys for all the tips and help, i will leave this post alone now unless anything really special happens.

[Tiddytok5]

Im sorry op.

Please leave her alone. 

She isn't interested.  She hasn't ever really been...like you said you're always the one to reach out first to her, lead the conversation,  and you felt you were boring her because that's the vibe she has given you.

 

 

It's highly unlikely that she forgot to respond to your text. She reads your messages and decides to respond when she and if she feels like it. 

 

She's probably attached to her phone and responds to everyone but you.

 

 

I'm sorry op. Find someone else who's genuinely interested in you and puts forth the effort.