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Tiddytok5

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  1. There's billions perhaps trillions of people living on this planet...any ex who tries to reconcile, especially after a substantial amount of time, is only trying to come back for their own selfish reasons, loneliness, desperation, comfortability, feeling like they can't do better/ too lazy to try, low self esteem, because you may be gullible, and a doormat and they can't find anyone desperate and loyal enough to put up with them and their antics, because the one they really want to be with doesn't want them so they settle for you, etc... It's seldom really a good thing when someone rather come back to an unhealthy relationship than just find someone perhaps more suitable and compatible. These are some of the reasons why a lot of people stay too
  2. He feels like you're using him and wasting his time. He's looking for marriage and paternership, not a gold digger who wants free meals. You're giving him mixed signals. If you expect free things out of him always, he isn't interested. It doesn't appear that you're really genuinely interested in him, just the fact that he didn't pay this time. If you're interested seriously in him ..which , stop listening to these alleged friends (which might be intentionally trying to sabatooge) and either take turns paying, start paying for your things, or leave him alone. It isn't a man's responsibility to pay for a women's expenses. He isn't obligated to pay for any of your expenses, nor are you entitled to his earned resources. Do you not care that he has bills and expenses of his own?? Do you not care that he could be experiencing financial hardships and difficulties...especially with the added expense of "you"? You are not entitled to his hard earned resources. He was not put on this planet to be a "cash cow" Start paying for your own or taking turns... Or leave him alone and find a guy to sponsor you financially. Just be upfront about your intentions and expectations.
  3. Find someone else who doesn't work with you. These things can become quite messy and perhaps lead to the termination of one or both of you.
  4. Do you have a backup plan, in case you are "friendzoned"? It isn't a wise idea to remain "connected" if your feelings aren't reciprocated. What's the backup plan if claims to like you but it doesn't go anywhere, or you date and it doesn't work out?? You stated that you two bonded over when his sister moved far away and how the two of you miss her. Honestly, it may be that he's using you as a "substitute" sister and support.
  5. Respect her wishes and work towards moving on. If she's being honest with you, She sounds introverted and she is overwhelmed, drained, mentally unwell due to allowing someone to infringe on her personal space. She's decided that she can't handle any relationship. It's too much for her. She wants to be at peace..and her peace is found when she's alone. When she is alone, she is her best self. Respect her wishes. Leave her alone. There's billions of other women out there...pick one that's suitable and that you're compatible with... Once or if you ever enter the dating world again. Whatever her true reasoning is, Respect her wishes. Don't hold on I am sorry.
  6. He's not into you at all, or anymore. The way that it is described..he was never your boyfriend..just a fwb. He's told you that he doesn't want to be committed to anyone, and that he wants to be single. He want to prioritize himself. He doesn't feel the same way. Also, he recognizes that you (possibly himself) isn't healthy nor ready for a relationship. No, he doesn't want to be in any relationship, currently. Please stop trauma dumping on him. He's being direct and honest with you. Please stop twisting and molding the narrative. Please work on accepting this and moving on. Please respect his wishes. Also, it is time to really prioritize your own mental health and well being. Your (so is his) behavior would be unacceptable and unable to sustain any relationship. . It's unhealthy. You are unhealthy and should take some time out to work on your issues and learning detachment. .perhaps in therapy. If these issues cannot be resolved, nor minimized.. it's best that you don't become involved with any one else. I'm sorry op, It's time to let him go.
  7. Im sorry op. Please leave her alone. She isn't interested. She hasn't ever really been...like you said you're always the one to reach out first to her, lead the conversation, and you felt you were boring her because that's the vibe she has given you. It's highly unlikely that she forgot to respond to your text. She reads your messages and decides to respond when she and if she feels like it. She's probably attached to her phone and responds to everyone but you. I'm sorry op. Find someone else who's genuinely interested in you and puts forth the effort.
  8. Sounds like he's perhaps married or in a relationship...that you may not be aware of. People make time out for what's important to them. He could have made time out for you. He makes time out for what he views as important already. ..such as his son, reffing, playing basketball, etc... He isn't busy 24/7.
  9. So you two never really interacted and communicated in high school, never had a friendship...that you just thought of him and it made you feel better about these tough things you were going through at the time?? Honestly, it doesn't sound like you two had a friendship at all back then...and I personally wouldn't tell him those things. He doesn't care, and doesn't think highly of you. He only wants to have sex. He doesn't want to hear those things. He doesn't want to know you in any other kind of intimate way. He's just using you for sex...and perhaps to control, take advantage, and manipulate you...because you seem naive, eager, and friendless. So you two really weren't friends in high school? That you knew of his name and maybe public available information about him...saw him in the hallways and around school...perhaps occasionally spoke to one another?? If so, you two were only associates. If you two weren't hanging out outside of school hours, talking on the phone, making plans, going different places, etc... you two never had a friendship. Soo...why has it taken 4 years to meet up when it seems like you two live in the same region?? Soo.. like did you look him up on a social platform after many years , contacted him and just started talking and making plans sexually? It's nothing wrong with having a causal sexual relationship with anyone.. but at least make sure that the person respects you. He does not respect you. You do not respect yourself. Your newest post states that You met up with him after 4 years, during his basketball game...for an unsuccessful quickie in a car..and he left to go back to his game...and your privates felt like they were burning afterwards. (Hopefully you went to the doctors to have that checked out) There's nothing wrong with having a sex and private life that you don't share with your parents. I think that maybe your guilt comes from knowing that you're being mistreated by this guy and not wanting to get lectured by your parents or to feel like you disappointed them. Why do you feel eager and desperate to be this guy's friend and have him in your life?? Why are you attached to this guy? If you're almost 40, high school was many years ago..do you feel like you are unable to make any genuinue friends, so you're willing to give him what he wants in order to keep him around?? I know that you say that you want it also, but are you just doing this as some obligatory "thank you" for him "helping you" get through a tough time in high school?? Do you feel like you owe him?? Chances are this guy is still married or has a girlfriend.. 4 years....first meeting and he has you in the back of a car, and goes back to his game, talks of sneaking around in hotel rooms, him saying he doesn't want to go to dinner (maybe he is afraid of being caught) etc... Are you okay with him using you and him possibly being in a relationship??? You don't have to tell your parents the intimate details..make sure that they can always get in touch with you and always let them know who you're with. Also give them details and information about the person you're with. Full name, address, license plate, picture of the person, etc... Unfortunately, I don't feel like this is going to go and end well for you. You're already emotionally invested, and he is not. Please try to let this guy go, and make some genuine friends.
  10. I reread your post.. Anyone who has feelings for a person who is claiming to be completely over and separated from an ex would have doubts and fears knowing the person they are supposed to be in a committed relationship hasn't any established firm boundaries in place between themselves and that ex. She doesn't know where she stands, and wants reassurance and reconfirmation from you. (Although frankly I don't know why she'd thought and expected she get "better" from you..especially if you two were carrying on while you were marriedand still living as a family with your ex wife) You seem like you thought the grass would be greener with the girlfriend, found out it wasn't, regret your choices and is trying to get back with your ex... or you are using your girlfriend as a backup plan in case you can't get back together with your ex wife. .. She feels like a backup plan. You are too "chummy" with your ex wife. She's telling you if things don't improve, she's leaving, and if she meets an eligible candidate, she'll choose him. Rightfully she should. Don't string people along. Both of my replies stand.
  11. Perhaps you two just need to end the relationship permanently. It sounds like your heart wasn't really in it, but you've decided to marry anyways. Maybe the two of you are trying to force compatibility, and trying to force a situation and relationship that isn't meant to be. It's okay to divorce. ..or to go back to living separately. A forced rushed possibily incompatible relationship, isn't ever going to genuinely work. Don't bring any children into this situation..
  12. You were cheating on your wife and divorced her to be with your gf, or was the relationship over and divorce pending before you started dating?? You, as a legally married man shouldn't have been "dating" anyone until you had a divorce, and time as alone single person... also time to heal and get your life in order... You are your ex wife's eager and willing doormat. If you're ever consider seriously dating someone (once you're healthy enough to be in a relationship..you're not now) Boundaries have to be in place between you and your ex wife. This rebound "fantasy" relationship that you're in isn't healthy. You aren't healthy and you don't know your worth. She's not into you genuinely, and disrespects you often. You are just a placeholder for and to her until someone she feels is better comes along. Stop allowing yourself to be abused and disrespected. End things permanently. Kick her to the curb..get a place of your own. Work on yourself perhaps in therapy. Stay single for a year or more. Learn to love and respect yourself.
  13. On his end...he's a terrible person and a terrible "parent". On your end, He showed you who he was and what you could expect from him in the very beginning. He presented his authentic self. You chose to bypass all red flags, and you created a false narrative of him and the situation in your head. You rushed into the fantasy and left reality and rational thinking behind. According to you, you tend to do that a lot. That needs to stop. Stop rushing into these types of situations and know better than to be around a potential partners children in a hurried rush manner. Going camping was too much to soon..everything you did was too much to soon. Keep him blocked. Until you get yourself sorted out, please refrain from dating and relationships. Perhaps therapy would be beneficial for you.
  14. Nevermind his intentions which aren't probably in your best interest.... The fact that you're still swooning over someone who you allowed to keep disrespecting you, trying to control and pressure you in a relationship even after you've declined multiple times... One time said, should have been respected. Get into therapy and work on yourself. You have low self esteem and don't know your worth. He seems creepy, with an underlying anger problem and possibly abusive. You dodged a bullet. Leave him alone. Wave or don't and keep it moving. Be thankful he left you alone. Trust me. It's a blessing...even if you don't understand or recognize it now.
  15. You two have been on and off for 6 years. On and off relationships aren't healthy and really should end. It's time to let each other go and stop trying to force what's not working to work. All this time trying to force compatibility when the both of you are just incompatible. Time wasted. Go your separate ways, and in due time find someone who you truly are compatible with. This is an unhealthy toxic relationship. If you decide to keep it strickly co parent. But know you'll be stuck with him forever.. Even if you get into another relationship. If you don't keep it, you can free yourself permanently. It's not good to bring a human being intentionally into dysfunction. It's time to let one another go and learn how to move on and heal. You two aren't right for one another and you'll never trust him. Never be involved with a person who sends you 108 messages the previous night. That is unhealthy, someone who is controlling, needs to be in control,manipulative, abusive, short tempered, codependent, and someone who is possibly mentally unwell and unstable. That isn't cute. Obsession isn't cute...it's dangerous, scary, and can have dire consequences. Get out asap You also need to get into individual therapy asap. I would highly advise you not to keep this child
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