No reply to my birthday text?

[KrispyCream]

I texted him on his birthday but he didn't respond to me. He was online until 2 am but no reaction or response to my text. I wrote happy birthday 🎂.

 

No reply.

 

He was also acting a bit weird on his birthday, He was at university, came early and was studying. Then got himself free food from a cheap stall and ate that. Then he was telling a friend that he's going to the post office to buy supplies and post a few papers. Later on, he simply wrote his essay and helped out a friend with his essay. 

 

Last year, he was enjoying himself but this year he was acting different. Just the next day after his birthday, he worked 2 days 11 hour shifts at his part time job.

 

He started coming online after I texted him but he did not reply to me. 

 

I am hurt and upset. Should I block him or am I overreacting?

 

 

[bluecastle]

Sorry you're hurt and upset. 

Can you provide a bit more context here? Is this man your boyfriend, a close friend, someone you know away from screens? Without understanding the situation a bit more, it's hard to offer advice. 

[KrispyCream]

17 minutes ago, bluecastle said:

Sorry you're hurt and upset. 

Can you provide a bit more context here? Is this man your boyfriend, a close friend, someone you know away from screens? Without understanding the situation a bit more, it's hard to offer advice. 

He is an acquaintance/friend who wanted a casual relationship or situationship with me but I didn't agree as I liked him romantically.  He got upset but continued to keep in contact and we ve been in contact for 2 years. We meet for few minutes every few days too.

[boltnrun]

Are you hoping he changes his mind and decides to have a romantic relationship with you? Do you think his continued contact means he really does have romantic feelings for you? 

At any rate, it's polite to say "thank you" when someone wishes you a happy birthday. The fact that he didn't could mean he isn't a valuable friend.

I would stop monitoring his online activity, interactions with his friends, what and where he eats and his work hours. That won't get you anything but frustration and disappointment.

[Cherylyn]

Don't contact him anymore. 

Don't check up on him on social media either. 

Treat him the same as he treats you;  with apathy.

[Batya33]

11 minutes ago, KrispyCream said:

He is an acquaintance/friend who wanted a casual relationship or situationship with me but I didn't agree as I liked him romantically.  He got upset but continued to keep in contact and we ve been in contact for 2 years. We meet for few minutes every few days too.

Yes so his behavior in not replying thank you is rude.  I'd leave it at that and just assume that you will see him a few minutes every few days and act in a polite way or ignore if possible since you two don't have much in common and want different things.

[KrispyCream]

1 hour ago, Batya33 said:

Yes so his behavior in not replying thank you is rude.  I'd leave it at that and just assume that you will see him a few minutes every few days and act in a polite way or ignore if possible since you two don't have much in common and want different things.

 

1 hour ago, Cherylyn said:

Don't contact him anymore. 

Don't check up on him on social media either. 

Treat him the same as he treats you;  with apathy.

 

1 hour ago, boltnrun said:

Are you hoping he changes his mind and decides to have a romantic relationship with you? Do you think his continued contact means he really does have romantic feelings for you? 

At any rate, it's polite to say "thank you" when someone wishes you a happy birthday. The fact that he didn't could mean he isn't a valuable friend.

I would stop monitoring his online activity, interactions with his friends, what and where he eats and his work hours. That won't get you anything but frustration and disappointment.

People are saying I am overreacting and it's ok for him to not say anything

[MissCanuck]

4 minutes ago, KrispyCream said:

People are saying I am overreacting and it's ok for him to not say anything

Which people? 

[KrispyCream]

4 minutes ago, MissCanuck said:

Which people? 

I asked on some forums on reddit and to some other people and they said I'm overreacting as the guy seemed like he's going through something and just because I texted him doesn't mean he has to respond

[Andrina]

You're not great/close friends, otherwise, you'd have planned a special birthday gathering with him. When your relationship goals didn't match several years ago, you should have let the friendship fade. You wouldn't be this hurt if you didn't have a crush and were overly involved in the minutiae of his life. This sort of friendship seems to be more hurtful to you than satisfactory. Admit this to yourself and move on to more satisfying friendships. And if you eventually want to date a guy, he will be reticent when he sees you're emotionally bonded to a guy who only wanted FWB with you. Not a good basis for a friendship.

[bluecastle]

3 minutes ago, KrispyCream said:

I asked on some forums on reddit and to some other people and they said I'm overreacting as the guy seemed like he's going through something and just because I texted him doesn't mean he has to respond

Okay, so you heard that from some corners of the internet and it clearly wasn't what you wanted to hear. Which makes me wonder: What is it you're hoping to hear? 

My guess is that, in your heart of hearts, you are looking for a reason to block him because you know your connection to him is not really a friendship, and not really great for your health. 

Any of that ring true? 

[boltnrun]

23 minutes ago, KrispyCream said:

 

 

People are saying I am overreacting and it's ok for him to not say anything

I think they're looking at your extreme, borderline obsessive focus on what he's doing from one minute to the next and how you're reacting as though he's doing those things AT you. When he's just living his life and likely has no idea how laser focused you are on what he's doing. They may think it's no big deal because you're not in a romantic relationship with him and you two are not close friends (if you only speak for a few minutes at a time). 

I don't think you're trying to end this minimal connection. I think you're hoping to strengthen it to the point where you two are in a love relationship. And it hurts because he not only doesn't want that but didn't even take a minute to thank you for the birthday wishes. 

I agree it's time to stop with all the monitoring of his activities, behavior and online presence and just regard him as a casual acquaintance. Wave hello if you see him on campus, but that's it. 

[Guest]

he's intentionally hurting you. He doesn't care. Why stick around? Find someone that will appreciate a text and you as a person. 

[catfeeder]

How dare he? I think you should block him then sue him for alienation of affection.

[KrispyCream]

35 minutes ago, Andrina said:

You're not great/close friends, otherwise, you'd have planned a special birthday gathering with him. When your relationship goals didn't match several years ago, you should have let the friendship fade. You wouldn't be this hurt if you didn't have a crush and were overly involved in the minutiae of his life. This sort of friendship seems to be more hurtful to you than satisfactory. Admit this to yourself and move on to more satisfying friendships. And if you eventually want to date a guy, he will be reticent when he sees you're emotionally bonded to a guy who only wanted FWB with you. Not a good basis for a friendship.

He didn't plan anything. He was at uni the whole day 

[KrispyCream]

36 minutes ago, Andrina said:

You're not great/close friends, otherwise, you'd have planned a special birthday gathering with him. When your relationship goals didn't match several years ago, you should have let the friendship fade. You wouldn't be this hurt if you didn't have a crush and were overly involved in the minutiae of his life. This sort of friendship seems to be more hurtful to you than satisfactory. Admit this to yourself and move on to more satisfying friendships. And if you eventually want to date a guy, he will be reticent when he sees you're emotionally bonded to a guy who only wanted FWB with you. Not a good basis for a friendship.

He has been the one dragging this. I had stopped talking to him multiple times but he always maintained contact so I also remained polite with him

[KrispyCream]

21 minutes ago, Stephy2023 said:

he's intentionally hurting you. He doesn't care. Why stick around? Find someone that will appreciate a text and you as a person. 

You are right. He does these things intentionally. I will no longer keep contact with him even if he wants to.

[KrispyCream]

24 minutes ago, boltnrun said:

I think they're looking at your extreme, borderline obsessive focus on what he's doing from one minute to the next and how you're reacting as though he's doing those things AT you. When he's just living his life and likely has no idea how laser focused you are on what he's doing. They may think it's no big deal because you're not in a romantic relationship with him and you two are not close friends (if you only speak for a few minutes at a time). 

I don't think you're trying to end this minimal connection. I think you're hoping to strengthen it to the point where you two are in a love relationship. And it hurts because he not only doesn't want that but didn't even take a minute to thank you for the birthday wishes. 

I agree it's time to stop with all the monitoring of his activities, behavior and online presence and just regard him as a casual acquaintance. Wave hello if you see him on campus, but that's it. 

Saying thank you won't strengthen or cause us to be together. It's simply a polite gesture because I'm not sure if I will be in this country next year and that's why decided to wish him because I might not get the opportunity to do so next year. This has nothing to want a love relationship 

[Wiseman2]

1 hour ago, KrispyCream said:

I asked on some forums on reddit and to some other people and they said I'm overreacting as the guy seemed like he's going through something and just because I texted him doesn't mean he has to respond

Sorry this happened. It's true he doesn't have to reply, but even if he's just an acquaintance, it would have been nice to acknowledge it. 

Since he doesn't seem interested in what you want, and he's not really a good friend either, consider deleting and blocking him so you're not tempted to monitor his social media. 

[KrispyCream]

5 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

Sorry this happened. It's true he doesn't have to reply, but even if he's just an acquiescence, it would have been nice to acknowledge it. 

Since he doesn't seem interested in what you want, and he's not really a good friend either, consider deleting and blocking him so you're not tempted to monitor his social media. 

He can delete me. I dont know why he doesnt 

[SooSad33]

I say you give up on this guy re: any expectations.

He ignored your B-day msg?  Then, move on.  Stop paying any attention to someone who avoids you 😉 .

'If they don't appreciate you, they don't deserve you'.

And please stop stalking him!  You two are hitting adult ages.  Leave him be.

[Kwothe28]

I dont even understand why you give time to somebody like this or even know what he does or doesnt do. Our time is too valuable to be spent on somebody who cant even say "Thank you" when you congratulate them birthday. Just block him.

[KrispyCream]

24 minutes ago, SooSad33 said:

I say you give up on this guy re: any expectations.

He ignored your B-day msg?  Then, move on.  Stop paying any attention to someone who avoids you 😉 .

'If they don't appreciate you, they don't deserve you'.

And please stop stalking him!  You two are hitting adult ages.  Leave him be.

He doesnt avoid. He wont reply but when we see each other in person he will start talking, asking about my life etc.

 

[KrispyCream]

16 minutes ago, Kwothe28 said:

I dont even understand why you give time to somebody like this or even know what he does or doesnt do. Our time is too valuable to be spent on somebody who cant even say "Thank you" when you congratulate them birthday. Just block him.

Yes I will. I'm done with him because there's no excuse to not write 2 words just like I wrote. A thank you or thanks or even a reaction to the text would be enough to show he acknowledged it.

[SooSad33]

3 minutes ago, KrispyCream said:

He doesnt avoid. He wont reply but when we see each other in person he will start talking, asking about my life etc.

Okay fine .. the basics.  Just no response on your b-day wishes?  I guess you just let it go?