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Guy likes me but has a gf?

Merrilsilverste

By Merrilsilverste
in Dating Advice

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Merrilsilverste Enthusiast

Merrilsilverste

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He complimented me 8 months ago saying I look good in front of his on and off girlfriend or love interest and when I invited him to go out for drinks with my female friends, he agreed and came along. He was fine until his girlfriend texted him something which made him very stressed and he abruptly left.

 

Turns out she was upset with him for some reason and they had a brief break up but they got together again.

 

He never interacted much with me after that. We would chat but he did not compliment or say anything after that.

 

I was trying to gossip about her to my female friends because she stole me from him but she told him about me

 

He was talking to my friend in our shared study space and when my friend tried to tell him about me (without mentioning my name) , describing how I look/hair colour changes, he did not recognise me initially. Instead, he thought of my other friend who constantly colours her hair. He only recognised me when my friend mentioned how I asked him out for drinks .

His gf was trying to talk to him back in 2021 as she told my close friend (they were friends) that she used to see him staring at her and my friend told me so I told my friend to tell her to not approach him as he's dating someone. I liked him back in 2021 too but he said he was seeing someone to me (he wasnt, he was casually hooking up but nit exclusive) .

 

His gf still approached him and I guess that's when they got together

 

He complimented me in front of her so I thought he likes me but my friend said he was trying to make her jealous as he told my friend why she didnt tell him that our guy friend had gone to Poland (even though he barely talks to this friend of mine and we were never close).

He likes me right so how can he not recognise me and see my hair changes? I dyed my black hair to highlights to reddish but he couldn't recognise me??

 

He literally complimented me?

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SooSad33 Grand Master

SooSad33

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4 hours ago, Merrilsilverste said:

He likes me right so how can he not recognise me and see my hair changes?

First of all, he's a guy.  They're not so aware of these little things as you gals are. So don't expect it 😉 .

Second, you're saying something that happened 8 mos ago. ( when he complimented you?).

So, it's time to let that all go.

He sounds somewhat like a player.  So, of course he'll say how nice you look and agree to go out to party, have drinks etc.

I suggest you let it all go now and move on.  He isn't worth it!  Find a real man.  Someone who likes you for you and shows some true interest.

 

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Kwothe28 Grand Master

Kwothe28

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7 hours ago, Merrilsilverste said:

I was trying to gossip about her to my female friends because she stole me from him but she told him about me

 

She didnt stole him from you, you were never in the picture in the first place lol

He has a girlfiend and was never with you. Heck he barely knows who you are. And instead of accepting that and moving on, you gossip about his girlfriend and think she somehow stole him from you. Again, he doesnt know you exist, move on.

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Merrilsilverste Enthusiast

Merrilsilverste

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2 hours ago, Kwothe28 said:

She didnt stole him from you, you were never in the picture in the first place lol

He has a girlfiend and was never with you. Heck he barely knows who you are. And instead of accepting that and moving on, you gossip about his girlfriend and think she somehow stole him from you. Again, he doesnt know you exist, move on.

He knows I exist. We do talk when we see each other in the study room at uni.

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Merrilsilverste Enthusiast

Merrilsilverste

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5 hours ago, catfeeder said:

Well, did he ask you out during his breakup with his girlfriend?

That’s all you really need to know.

No. He attended a lunch with us at uni but it was with all of our friends and after that he became quite reclusive and until she took him back,  he was still upset.

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Merrilsilverste Enthusiast

Merrilsilverste

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5 hours ago, SooSad33 said:

First of all, he's a guy.  They're not so aware of these little things as you gals are. So don't expect it 😉 .

Second, you're saying something that happened 8 mos ago. ( when he complimented you?).

So, it's time to let that all go.

He sounds somewhat like a player.  So, of course he'll say how nice you look and agree to go out to party, have drinks etc.

I suggest you let it all go now and move on.  He isn't worth it!  Find a real man.  Someone who likes you for you and shows some true interest.

 

He is very observant so he notices everything. He recognised my friend who bleaches her hair instantly

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

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2 hours ago, Merrilsilverste said:

Why not??? He literally said looking good in front of his gf!

Maybe that's an inside joke for them -maybe they turn each other on by making comments like that in front of each other -assume that because he is taken - even if you dated him wouldn't you worry all the time that he was flirting with other women??

My future husband got out of a longish relationship and shortly after met me for dinner -platonically.  A couple of weeks later he asked me to get back together as we'd dated years earlier.  A couple of weeks later his ex girlfriend wanted him back badly.  He simply told her "no, I am with someone else now."  They worked together so they remained cordial at work.  He made it 100% clear he'd moved on.  He told me that she had contacted him and told me what he said and told me "I said that because I want to be with you and I am falling for you."

I didn't have to read into throwaway compliments or signs because when a person wants to be with you they want you to know that simply and directly lest you go looking elsewhere and they miss their chance to be with a special person.

Had my future husband still been with his ex OR started seeing her again after she contacted him I'd have been outta there.

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Wiseman2 Grand Master

Wiseman2

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5 hours ago, Merrilsilverste said:

. He recognised my friend who bleaches her hair instantly

It seems like you need a new hair color. Go to a salon and find an interesting color. Perhaps something that stands out more like platinum blonde or pink or green. This way he'll be able to recognize you. The problem seems to be your hair color. 

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Merrilsilverste Enthusiast

Merrilsilverste

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31 minutes ago, Wiseman2 said:

It seems like you need a new hair color. Go to a salon and find an interesting color. Perhaps something that stands out more like platinum blonde or pink or green. This way he'll be able to recognize you. The problem seems to be your hair color. 

Why you think he couldn't recognize me?

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

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5 minutes ago, Merrilsilverste said:

Why you think he couldn't recognize me?

I believe he was teasing.  There's no connection between him noticing someone else's hair color and noticing yours. For example I notice red headed kids because I adore red hair especially on kids. I notice multi colored hair -I have FB friends who do that and post photos. I rarely comment -they might think I don't notice - I do but have no comment on it.

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Merrilsilverste Enthusiast

Merrilsilverste

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2 minutes ago, Batya33 said:

I believe he was teasing.  There's no connection between him noticing someone else's hair color and noticing yours. For example I notice red headed kids because I adore red hair especially on kids. I notice multi colored hair -I have FB friends who do that and post photos. I rarely comment -they might think I don't notice - I do but have no comment on it.

He wasnt as he was literally confronting my friend because his gf told him we gossiped 

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Batya33 Grand Master

Batya33

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Just now, Merrilsilverste said:

He wasnt as he was literally confronting my friend because his gf told him we gossiped 

Again these signs are irrelevant to whether he wants to date you.  He does not want to date you because if he did he wouldn't be with his girlfriend and he'd have asked you out on a date he planned in advance.  He knows you're into him.  No issue there lol.  He hasn't asked you out on a date because he does not want to date you even if he finds you cute or attractive or sexy as all that.  Both can be true. Stay away please and stop making a fool of yourself, getting involved in silly gosspip and trying to interfere in this woman's relationship.

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