He said "don't talk to me." Will he come back?

[electricfox]

This guy that I've been consistently seeing got upset with me over text for asking him a question about a new girl that started following him on social media (he's out of town for a month and admitted that he still has a dating app but that he just chats on the app to pass time and hasn't been seeing anyone but me). We aren't exclusively bf/gf but he's reassured me before that he's only seeing me. This time instead of reassuring me he said "don't talk to me." I did not reply to that obviously, and we haven't spoken now in several days. I feel like he misunderstood me and thought I was accusing him of being with another girl. I was just curious how she found his social media since he has a pseudonym and is private. Usually when he shuts me out like this he will at least view my stories on social media, but he isn't doing that despite being active online. Does this mean he doesn't care about me anymore? How long does it usually take men to come around after something like this?

[gamon]

You're being too clingy/needy and you're driving him away. This scenario is as old as time.

[Wiseman2]

2 hours ago, electricfox said:

We aren't exclusively bf/gf but he's reassured me before that he's only seeing me. This time instead of reassuring me he said "don't talk to me." Usually when he shuts me out like this he will at least view my stories on social media,.

How long have you been seeing each other? What do you mean by "Usually when he shuts me out"? 

Is there a history of game playing, block/unblock or on/off? 

Rather than inquire about random women on his social media, observe this and how disposable and disrespectfully he treats you.

Also what exactly do you want from the situation? FWB? Casual dating? A relationship?

You seem to be striving for an exclusive relationship but seem to be settling for no-strings sex and poor treatment.

While he's away, take advantage of your non-exclusive situation and begin talking to and meeting men who want what you want and treat you respectfully. Reflect if ending it would be in your best interest.

 

[Jibralta]

2 hours ago, electricfox said:

Does this mean he doesn't care about me anymore?

I think it means he never cared about you. I don't think he'll ever 'come around' to caring. It's not you; it's him.

[Batya33]

I don't think it's about caring about you -he cares about himself and he doesn't to deal with you stalking him on social media. People who are on dating apps are there to advertise themselves as single and keep their options open not to just to chat and pass the time.  Right now he is not seeing anyone else.  But he is advertising himself as single so that could change today.  You are not exclusive so you have no right to question him let alone stalk him as to whether he is keeping his options open.  I don't think he misunderstood at all. 

You pried into his personal business because some woman is now on his social media.  He likely felt annoyed and suffocated and he's tired of being treated like a prisoner. 

He doesn't want to be exclusive with you -at least not yet -and he sees you are more into him than he is into you so he'd prefer not to have to deal with that situation.

It's not about "caring".  Care about yourself and don't settle for scraps -if you want someone who only wants to date you then be up front about that -not this vague gray area where he is not dating anyone but he's active on a dating app.  That's not ok with you so instead of saying that you're acting overly clingy and stalking him.  It's not a good look and this is not a good match IMO.

[SooSad33]

2 hours ago, electricfox said:

I was just curious how she found his social media since he has a pseudonym and is private. Usually when he shuts me out like this he will at least view my stories on social media,

You two aren't even exclusive .... and you admit he's shut you out before?

I'd be done with that! Sounds like your interest is higher in this than his.  Yah, I know some guys who are dating but still have dating sites, but they aren't out there adding anything that pays them some attention.

Like I said, leave him be and expect nothing more.  Move on, find someone who is as interested as you are. 

[Kwothe28]

3 hours ago, electricfox said:

I was just curious how she found his social media since he has a pseudonym and is private.

Just how do you think she found out? He told her!

3 hours ago, electricfox said:

(he's out of town for a month and admitted that he still has a dating app but that he just chats on the app to pass time and hasn't been seeing anyone but me). We aren't exclusively bf/gf but he's reassured me before that he's only seeing me.

If you are this guillable, I have a case of Yugoslavian wine I have to sell you lol

If you are providing him sex and he hasnt found another hole to stick it in meantime, maybe he contacts you sometimes. Otherwise, he just wont. Sadly, he just sees you as that and nothing more. Value yourself more then that, even if he doesnt.

[MissCanuck]

3 hours ago, electricfox said:

I feel like he misunderstood me and thought I was accusing him of being with another girl.

He didn't misundertand. He knows why you were asking him this, because let's be real, you did want to know if he was seeing her. Otherwise, you wouldn't have asked. It's an accustation masked as a question of "curiosity." Only it backfired this time because he didn't give you the reassurance you were obviously seeking. 

3 hours ago, electricfox said:

Usually when he shuts me out like this

Why are you still a man who "usually" shuts you out? You should walk away from a guy who does that, and not stick around until it becomes a pattern. 

3 hours ago, electricfox said:

Does this mean he doesn't care about me anymore?

Look, if you've been seeing each other for a bit but he is still using dating apps and not exclusive with you, he's never cared the way you want him to. Assuming this isn't a totally new situationship, he doesn't see a future with you if he's still keeping his options like this. Let this be your cue to let go of him. 

 

[Cherylyn]

Since you're not in an official girlfriend / boyfriend relationship,  he felt that you were poking around his social media which irritated him.  He may be only seeing you as he claims but his heart isn't 100% into you yet.  He feels that at this stage,  he doesn't owe you any loyalty nor devotion so you'll have to accept your lower status in his life.  

If he doesn't want to talk to you,  don't contact him.  Give him space and time.  I'd say a week or two at the most.  Then ask him to be with you in person.  When you see him,  express any concerns you may have but don't text these concerns.  In person is better.  See how he reacts.  If he has an explosive temper and doesn't know how to have a calm discussion with you,  then determine whether or not you want to be with a guy like this.  Get to know him better.  Over time,  you'll discover if he's a keeper or the one you should let go and strive to be with a better man.  You decide.

[smackie9]

If he really cared he would be exclusive. You are just an option, and he's blowing smoke up your butt about "Just bored, doing it for something to do" You'd be pretty naive to believe what he tells you. You are too invested because you are quizzing him about his doings on social media. To me, this is a dead end. Go invest in someone else.