Ex reaching out after a period of no contact

[Thomas75]

Has anyone had an ex reach out after breaking off all contact. I've been doing some research and found statistically that about 60% of exes do come back. Just curious....

[boltnrun]

Yeah, whenever he fought with his girlfriend (who he dumped me for) or when he had been drinking and his girlfriend wasn't around, or when he felt sorry for himself, or when he wanted attention. Or, my personal favorite, when a different ex's girlfriend was dying of a terminal illness and he reached out to me to see if I was down to have sex with him. Because apparently she was no longer able to give him any? 

I especially want nothing to do with an ex who dumped me. They decided they didn't want me anymore so why should I give them the ego boost they want? They want a fan club, not reconciliation. It's not because they suddenly realized they made a huge mistake and still loved me.

I see you posted in the "getting back together" forum. I presume the breakup wasn't your idea?

[Batya33]

Yes after very limited contact over 7 years he did and we got married!

[MissCanuck]

Eh, one tried to get in touch several years after we split. 

I had long since moved on and ignored him. 

[Kwothe28]

Couple of times. I have this character property that once I get dissapointed in somebody, I dont see them in same eyes again. Which did help me during break ups. One time I did cave in, it ended up so horribly that I regreted deeply for not following my instict and staying away forever. 

[boltnrun]

1 hour ago, MissCanuck said:

Eh, one tried to get in touch several years after we split. 

I had long since moved on and ignored him. 

And the lame ways they try to use to reach out!

An ex sent me a message a couple of years ago that said "Hi, hope everything's going good for you." I mean, what am I supposed to say to that? I know he expected me to eagerly leap on his lame message, but I waited a few days and then replied "Thanks, you too." He got the message and left me alone after that.

A "hey, how are you?" or "I found that roll of scotch tape you left here, do you need it back?" message is so lame. I can't believe any of our exes think that would work to get us back worshipping them lol. And the worst, the drunken message at 2:00 am. Like, really??

[Spawn]

No but ex's do take a stroll ( read stalk) over your social media profiles and absolutely love to see the nice happy pictures of you with your current one enjoying expensive vacations 🙂

[moodindigo91]

Yes, all of my serious boyfriends have come back at some point with an interest in rekindling the relationship in some form or another. One toxic ex and I got back together and then split up again. My most recent ex who left a little over 1 year ago recently came back into my life with an interest in exploring the possibility of getting back together, which I am remaining open to but not committing to. 

Anyway, it does happen. Probably quite often. Probably more often than 60% tbh. But I would say, more often than not, a successful relationship hardly ensues after breaking up and getting back together without a pretty long passage of time, some changes on the parts of both parties, and an explicit commitment to sort out whatever it was that caused the breakup to begin with and make it work. 

[Batya33]

I would say the reason it worked out with us was:  limited contact and one quick dinner over an almost 8 year period. An amicable breakup despite being upsetting. His declining my wish to get back together a month later - that would have caused too much drama.
Both of us feeling a strong spark. Both of us wanting all in and with the same goals - marriage and family. Both of us having changed in very significant ways 

also till now I’ve never really thought of the importance of this. Without exception our parents, families, friends were so thrilled to hear we were together again. I think that support meant a lot to us especially since our broken engagement caused so much inconvenience and upset. (Yes I gave back the ring immediately . Yes we returned all the engagement gifts). 
I didn’t need reassurance from my friends and family or his but knowing they believed in us meant a lot !

[askdan]

Mine has reached out after 13 years...we are now married for almost 5 years now.

She would have reached out sooner if I was single. 

To make a long story short, after she dumped me in 2004 (reason why I created an account here in March '04), I pursued her for about 3.5 years until I gave up.

After I completely gave up, I started dating, was then in another relationship from 2007 to 2016, (married 8 of those years). Once my divorce was over, my ex from 2004 reached out, started dating again in 2017, got married in 2018 and we now have a child together. 

As for my ex from 2016, well, after she dumped my ass, she is still miserable, jealous, and single 7 years after the divorce. She resents my success even though she did the dumping, and I DID try to repair the relationship. Go figure.

You never know when an ex will reach out. It could be tomorrow, or next year. 

In my experience, self-improvement and no contact (for several years) were the recipe. Looking back, I am still surprised at the turn of events, all of the odds were against me.

[gamon]

Statistically 60% of ex's reach out or come back?

Regardless of which one it is, safe to say that for all practical purposes, when it's over, it's over.

The rest is just nonproductive regurgitation of the same old thing.

So if you started this thread thinking you'd be one of the lucky ones- know that there aren't too many of those- if you base your "luck" on repeating the same cycle over and over again with a person with whom you're simply not compatible.